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Bi-Polar OCD Boss

By StressedAndMad ·
First, I've learned - never work for a friend. This man and I have been friends for over 8 yrs., he's been my mentor thru tech school, he begged me to come and work a database project at his new job site.

He got his friend, the previous IS Administrator fired and accepted the position himself.

I have found after a year and a half, that he is an abuser -- it's all verbal, but it is both mental and emotional, and he can be brutal. I am now on acute stress leave. The man gets nose to nose and screams at me, takes my words and twists them them passes them off as truth and if he gets busted he says I lied (sorry, long sentence). He daily tells me every negative thing he can think of about me and my work. He tells me as often as he can that no one there is my friend, he is my only friend. And it goes on, ad nauseum.

Being on stress leave, I have been inactivated in the system. The BPD/OCD boss is still there. I've already busted him once for getting into Exchange and reading my email -- and threatening to fire me for it!! I've gone to HR twice and he's been written up twice. He lies so much you never know when it's truth, when it's a lie, and when it's half/half. He loves to keep the users in the dark, and flies into rages when pushed into making a commitment (okay, whatever, the network will be up in an hour, now leave me alone!) He screams at all the techs and makes sure everyone can hear him. Did I mentiion he lies. Oh, yes, and that he is really good a lying.

I have documentation on Exchange on my my personal folder on the server. Since he has locked me out, since he can so what he pleases with my email, since all he has to do is change my network password from UserManager, he can get into all my files. Especially those I've been documenting and trying to get off the premises since I've learned he's reading my email. He threatened to have me fired if I emailed one more negative thing about him off-premises.

How do I protect myself from this man? I love my work, my job, the people. I don't want anything vindicitive against this man. But I don't know how to protect myself from him, since his Admin privileges out-privelege mine, and he can whatever he wants.

I am so afraid of his retribution my knees clatter together. I am on acute stress leave by order of Occupation Therapy (Workers Comp)and so feel like my back is unprotected.

Nervous in Stockton

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Never work for a friend.

by jkameleon In reply to Bi-Polar OCD Boss

... nor a relative. Never, never, never.

I'm sorry that you had to find that out the hard way. Many people do, but that's not much of a comfort, I guess.

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Never work for a "family run company"

by Too Old For IT In reply to Never work for a friend.

... or one the purports to be. Especially if they mix religion into the company culture.

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Use a gmail account to get your info out

by edouarda In reply to Never work for a friend.

Create a seprate mail account both on yur exchange and possible Gmail yahoo. use that to communicate to HR etc. If you have previlages you can create an account and use that to shield him finding out what you are up to. Explain to HR that moving forward you will send all correspondenc e from a public asccount or anonymous account. Good luck , people like that are so insecure they can never keep the focus on getting the work done.

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Nice start, but

by AttackComputerWhiz In reply to Use a gmail account to ge ...

If you are using Outlook to read your mail, why aren't you creating local personal folders files (*.pst) on a thumb drive so that you can take your mail with you at the end of the day? You can also password that folder so that, getting into your profile or not, without the other password, the boss is SOL.

NEVER leave email on the server where it can be accessed!

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USB 40GB 3.5" External Drive

by ghostrider01 In reply to Nice start, but

When I was in your situation, I used a portable USB 40GB external drive to pull my mail (*.pst file) and personal files off my computer. The key is to careful and not get caught. Boss wasn't that smart. He even followed my advice to put his *.pst file outside his profile because his additional profile got wiped out by the helpdesk person. Eventually, that *.pst file fell into my co-worker's hands.

Anyway, you need to figure out whether this is worth the stress and to fight it out. That previous boss spent 1.5 years to get me canned and he won because my boss had to play with him and HR only supported management. Boss like that are in-human and have no right to lead, to manage, and should be removed. Remember what goes around, comes around. Your boss will have his day, but you may not see it happen. Good luck and be careful.....

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I'm sure

by maecuff In reply to Bi-Polar OCD Boss

there will people who disagree with this advice, but I don't see any other way. You need to MOVE on. You have a skill, take it somewhere else. There is NO way the abuse is going to stop unless the guy gets fired or dies. And there is no way you are going to learn to deal with it better in a reasonable period of time. Move on.

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Stand up to the prick

by vlape In reply to I'm sure

You need to let him know you will not take his abuse, grow a set and let him know, If he continues the conversation tell him you will continue this conversation in his bosses office. If he continues to talk visit his boss and have a chat. Demand he resolve this issue else you will have to seek legal advise. Harrasment in the workplace is against the law. Harrasment weather sexual or other is usually not tolerated by the upper mgmt

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The voices in my head...

by rpalin In reply to Stand up to the prick

Listen to them when they tell you to go home and clean your guns....No seriously, I had a boss like this once and I ended up getting fired after he gave me one demening job after another. As the old saying goes "when one door closes another opens". Well, the one that opened was far better than the one that closed. Most people like this have little or no self esteem and need to belittle people around them to bolster their egos.
Don't give him the satifaction. Take what you have learned here and move on. You will be happier. As the dude for the Men's warehouse says "I guarantee you"!

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Move on and let others know why

by thompson.trey In reply to The voices in my head...

I agree though it might be a scary proposition. You should also make it a point to very calmly and cogently express your concerns to upper managment when you leave. I feel sorry for the next poor sap they hire...

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Dont be scurred

by carlos_ayala13 In reply to Move on and let others kn ...

Everybody else has some good advise, LEAVE! But before you do, GET SOME evidence of what he's doing. Accusations only carry so far, and may be construed as liabless information. Get yourself a small tape recorder that fits in your shirt pocket. Go to him and confront him, get him to open his mouth and let stupid come out and play. Then you can have all the proof you need to either get him fired or justify your lawsuit.

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