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boring ramblings on a tuesday

By Shellbot ·
oh god..its only tuesday and already this week has been longer than eternity

normally i turn to TR for amusement, but its kinda quiet at the moment..

so lets see, spent my lunch hour applying for jobs because i've finally had it with mine. I'm doing way too much "admin" and not enough "database". If i have to type up one more "peice on why we should do soemthing" and then not have any action taken on it I am going to walk out. I'm not a typist people..well, if i am, i'm an extremely well paid one.
I'm the type who needs to have brain activity registering at work. I cannot just sit here and do mindless work..i need a challenge, or at least soemthing that i have to think about.

For those of you that know about my little angel and her antics..she's gone. She went to canada for visitation with her father and didn't come back. So, once again i have to pick up the peices and bravely soldier on with my life.

One of you girls said to me a while back "god doesn't give you more than you can handle"..but whats the limit then? How close do you have to be to a breakdown before he stops?

Anyone have any good jokes for me then? I need a bit of a laugh..

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Wow

by maecuff In reply to boring ramblings on a tue ...

Sorry to hear that, Shell. I know it in no way compares, but I remember very vividly the pain I felt when my son chose to live with my mother instead of me. Fortunately, he's only 3 hours away, but it still hurt. I guess the best you can do, is hope she find her way in life. You've done what you can do. That doesn't make it easier though, does it? I dunno if this will help at all, but when my son left and he had some 'drug use' issues shortly after, I started up a mindless hobby to distract myself. In the end, I had a large bookcase that is completely covered in pennies. It's either really cool or a complete horror to look at. I still haven't decided.

It wasn't me who said that god doesn't give you more than you can handle. I don't buy it. Sometimes things just suck and your only choice is to go on. I don't think it's part of a plan, because if it is? I have to say, for a large part of the time, the plan sucks ***.

On the other hand, you did just say you wanted the opposite of mindless. Have you been reading? Sometimes that's a good way to escape for a while. Job hunting is good. I need to do the same, it's just that I don't have the energy to actually do anything about it. I just want someone to do it for me.

I hope your day gets better (and week, month, so on). I don't think I could possibly say anything to improve your situation, but I AM willing to lend an ear when you need it!

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thanks mae

by Shellbot In reply to Wow

well, i've come to the conclusion that i could not have done any more for her. A couple days ago we checked out the computer, and we found out she was starting her old sh1t up again. She had only gotten some trust back, and we think 2 days before she went to canada she had the EX boyfriend over before she went to school (plus she was late for school that day), i don't have to think too hard to know what they were up to.
It hurts like h3ll, but i think she's playing games. I'm getting a vibe that she gave the ex an ultimatum, take me back or i will move away. Just a few emails and notes i've seen now that seem to point in that direction.
Because i know she is playing games, i think its easier to deal with it. I know its not "me", its "her". Plus her dad basically let her run wild when she got there, so she's thinking "cool" no rules..

one day she'll grow up a bit and realise she can't use people for her own amusement..but its going to be a while i'd say

I've been reading a lot and fixing up a few things round the house..
its just so hard though..walking by her empty room, seeing her friends around town.

i'm curious about your penny thing..do you have a pic of this? :)

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I don't

by maecuff In reply to thanks mae

but I can take one. Basically, it's just a bookcase with glass doors on the front. I covered all the wood with pennies (heads up on the left and tails up on the right). I just used a hot glue gun, then a coat of high gloss varnish over the whole thing to keep the pennies from falling off (which they did ALL the time). I had one of my stepdaughters friends ask if it was my younger son's project (like I would let an 8 year old use the hot glue gun, I burned the crap out of myself over and over on this project) and had another person offer me $800 for it. (She wanted to resell it in her vintage shop). I wouldn't sell it though, it's a reminder to me that I can get through whatever it is that comes at me. It may not seem like it while it's happening, but in the end, I'm always okay. One saying I really DO believe is "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger".

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smile

by Dumphrey In reply to boring ramblings on a tue ...

I hope you can smile and find one good thing to day. I cant relate to the pain of a child leaving, but I know what its like to feel overwhelmed and at your limit. you will get by, you will improve, and you will succeed.
As for keeping stimulated, I find various open source projects and create "proof of concept" versions that can be applied to our infrastructure. Currently I am building an NAS based on linux and an intel P3. I now have a 400Gb NAS that cost the company Zero dollars (old parts) to back up my workstation on, and a possible sell for new equipment in IT when they see how well it works. Busy work can suck, but it can be turned in to play time.

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thanks Isaa

by Shellbot In reply to smile

its just been one of those days

tried to start a new programming project i been thinking about, thought it might get my mind off stuff but my head is just not into anything at the minute..

and i know something will happen to make me smile..actually, it already did..replys from you guys!
:)

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It really does help

by maecuff In reply to thanks Isaa

doesn't it? I've had many times over the past 5 years where I've gotten wonderful advice and comfort from the people here.

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Shell, here's one to be going on with.....

by gadgetgirl In reply to boring ramblings on a tue ...

One for the ladies
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What
setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."

And they say blondes are dumb...


-------------------------------------------

Right. Now, SMILE. Your daughter is now well away from the bad influence of a boyfriend, and that needs to be looked at as a plus.

Yeah, I know, she's back with her Dad, but look at it as you getting a little respite. After all you've been through with her lately, you need to de-stress. (And yes, I know, I know, this is the pot calling the kettle black, I gottit)

Take this as well deserved "you" time, because you and hubby need it, and you know it. Look at all the optimistic parts of this, and work on those - you have more time for hubby, you can have a few romantic nights, you can plan for Xmas together, hey, you've even got time for some Xmas shopping!

I know none of this will detract from your daughter not being there, but things always look better if you're feeling positive.

It was Tig who said God doesn't give you more than you can handle. But, grief, He does push it at times. I normally find myself just on the edge of the breakdown hill when things inexplicably start easing off.

Been there, done that, got the tshirt more times than I care to admit.

Now. Your medication, missy, is to leave work this afternoon, and pop into the off licence or supermarket on the way home. Pick up a ready meal (go on, I dare you)and at least one bottle of wine. Go home, run a hot bath with your favourite bath bubbles, light half a dozen candles and spread them around the bathroom, open the wine and pour a glass. Relax in the bath while sipping the wine, and when YOU are ready, then leave the bath, heat up the oven and have your 2nd glass of wine whilst it's getting hot. Shove the ready meal in the oven, set the timer, pour glass no. 3, and relax while things are cooking. Pour glass no. 4 and slurp with meal when ready.

Put the meal container in the bin (see? no washing up) and relax in front of the TV for the rest of the evening, with the option of opening wine bottle no. 2.

If you avoid the hangover, you'll feel a damn site better in the morning.

GG

I know this isn't really much help, but with a distance factor involved all I can do is try to lighten the mood and provide support. You know where I am if you need a sound off, Shell.

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no rest for me tonight

by Shellbot In reply to Shell, here's one to be g ...

have classes.. "Interopability" *shudder*
but i will definatly do as you suggested tomorrow night.

i'm going to book a weekend away for me and the hubby..we need it. I'm thinking Christmas markets in Germany or Austria..sounds like good fun..eat sausage and get drunk :)

the joke is good..kinda reminds me of a guy i know!

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Seriously.....

by gadgetgirl In reply to no rest for me tonight

have spare room if you want to grab a cheap flight to Newcastle on RyanAir - and if you want to know more about our nightlife, check out daughters website...

http://www.n-e-life.com/forvisitors/home.php

(that's the section for visitors, btw!)

Genuine, serious invite Shell, if you don't want to go to the expense of going to Europe.

GG

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thanks :)

by Shellbot In reply to Seriously.....

i will definatly keep your offer in mind GG.

:)

it wouldn't be for a few weeks anyways..have some stuff we've to do around here before we can run off for a weekend.

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