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Critique my first resume please!

By Cazten ·
Hey guys, I'm currently looking to apply for a job and wanted to run my resume through you guys first to pick apart. This ones currently slightly tailored towards a entry network/infosec job.

Things to keep in mind while you review this:
1.) This is my first attempt at a real "tech" type job. I dont have any substantial work history experience in the field yet.
2.) I'm still in school and wont have my A.S. till late next year probably. Might have "certificate of acheivement" after next semester in one or two of them but I'm lacking some gen ed for the complete A.S.
3.) Under knowledge and skills section i listed basic knowledge i have of certain areas. I wasn't sure how else to convey things i know since I don't have any official certifications or degrees yet, but i have run through about 20 core units for my info sec degree, network admin degree, and have finished the book for the security+ exam. If you have better ideas on how to convey this or critiques on things to add or drop from it let me know

4.) The formatting was slightly skewed when exporting it as an html file for viewing convenience. The content is what I'm interested in for this critique.

File Link: http://hartiganwill.tripod.com/Work/html_resume

Thank you guys!

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critique

by ismail.magued In reply to Critique my first resume ...

first of all erase the experience from the introductory section.
the introduction short and sweet.

try to push your former employers for a certification it goes to your cv.

try to push the school you were at for a formal diploma on paper.

last of all let see, u need as well to keep track of your employment.
dont let your cv go out of date.

it is crucial to shorten the bullet points
into sentences.
shorter sentences.

use words that are districtive in nature
that catches the eyes of the interviewer.

and add a section about your characteristics that match the job u want

one other thing

join this network

www.linkedin.com

well if you need further instance dont hestitate to reply to this post

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by Cazten In reply to critique

Thanks for the reply. I went ahead and removed the experience section at the very top. To answer a few points first off i should point out.

1. My current employment is the ONLY employment I've ever had, its not a neglect of resume updating. Adding to that I'm only 20 years old, and the company was a family run company of which i am a partner of (thus the vice president title i put which is true). Theoretically i was nothing more than an hourly laborer. However i did maintain the company website (which didn't need frequent updating), and the home office network (which isn't exactly rocket science lol). Since i have zero experience im more or less using a "white lie" to make it sound like i have some experience doing at least something minuscule.

2. I cant push the schooling any harder. This was my first semester changing to an IT major and im pushing 17 units. Next semester with like 6 units ill have a certificate of achievement in the infosec security (which is an A.S minus the general ed). The semester following that hopefully an A.S in all three, or 2 at minimum. Ill also be adding the security+ cert as soon as I have the money. Unfortunately my employers (my parents) cant help much since we've all been unemployed in the construction industry for 10months. Hopefully if I get my unemployment I just filed for ill be able to take the cert.

Ill consider shortening the bullets into sentences instead. Ill see how it looks both ways. But as it stands 70% of the bulleted information is theoretical knowledge from books, not practical experience.

Also how would you format a characteristics section to tailor to the employer? I considered this already tailored to a network admin/beginning security type of deal as all the info focuses on those two subjects that I have listed as skills and experience.

Thankyou.

Anyone else for comments?

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by Cazten In reply to Critique my first resume ...

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