Our forums are currently in maintenance mode and the ability to post is disabled. We will be back up and running as soon as possible. Thanks for your patience!

General discussion



By justathought ·
I would be interested and appreciate your views on death, the questions it brings into our life, the way it changes our world.

How does it affect the idea of our own mortality?

How does it alter our priorities and values in life?

The impact on our spirituality, for those who hold beliefs?

how does it affect our own "personal" identity?

This conversation is currently closed to new comments.

Thread display: Collapse - | Expand +

All Comments

Collapse -


by Tony Hopkinson In reply to Death

Well affects mortality by putting an end to it!
I don't think about dying well, only when I do something life threatening and then only for that short interval before I realise I got away with it again.
Spirituality is something I see no purpose in believing in.

Collapse -

more specific

by justathought In reply to Death

I realised my questions were not properly presented, what I meant to say is :

How the death of a loved one affects our own mortality, our priorities and values in life, the impact on our spirituality and our own identity.

Collapse -

Haven't had anyone close to me die

by Tony Hopkinson In reply to more specific

as yet. They all know I love them, that's all that matters. Where they or I go after death, if there is anything after a death is something I can wait to find out. I can also wait to find out how crap it's going to feel until it does happen.
Won't affect my identity at all though, nor is the thought of my own death or anyone elses, going to turn me spiritual. I have more respect for them and for myself to wallow in that sort of self pity or fear.

Collapse -

Neither had I until a year ago

by DMambo In reply to Haven't had anyone close ...

My father went Sept of last year and my mother went down like a stone and followed him last January. My mother always had a strong belief in an afterlife and seemed that she was just impatient to get back with her husband. It really seemed to me that she was more worried after he died that he just needed her there to look after him. It certainly took all the fear of death out of her. I know that she wanted to go.

As for me, the main fear I have is that my family needs me around for another couple of decades. I don't think I'm afraid of dying, but I'm afraid to leave the kids behind.

Collapse -

put a different perpective

by justathought In reply to Neither had I until a yea ...

Yes that is what I have noticed,like your mother all of a sudden the outlook on my own mortality changed, it is no longer something to talk about and somehow far away in the future, it becomes real and it is no longer an enemy to fear, but the inevitable part of life that could strike at any time.

Collapse -

I Believe that my mother...

by DMambo In reply to put a different perpectiv ...

...considered death more than an inevitable part of life. I think she really was impatient. For the last several years, her main purpose in life, in her mind, was to care for the old guy. When that purpose was gone, she was passively suicidal. She knew that all her kids and grandchildren were secure. She truly was concerned that she not become a burden to her family and, coming from a working-class background, she said she would never want to squander the fruits of life's work on nursing home care. She never wanted to leave her home of 50 years.

Personally, I would have rather seen her move in with me or one of my siblings and be around for several more years regardless of the "burden". But that was not part of her plan. She was far more afraid of what extening her life would mean than of dying. In my view, she spent 4 months willing death to come.

Collapse -

My Best Love

by cjoe071855 In reply to more specific

When my wife passed in May I felt that life just was not worth living anymore. I loved her so much that a large part of me died with her. My life did not mean much to me. My 12 year old boy's existence stopped me from taking myself out.

Collapse -

Such Loss

by flynmonkey In reply to My Best Love

I don't know and hope I never know the loss that you have had. I have seen my mother and my mother in law go through the loss of their husbands. They have told me that Jesus carried them through that time of grief. Jesus is there for you and anyone who ask for his comfort. I will be praying for you.

Collapse -

Interesting that you ask this

by frehen In reply to more specific

And the message you placed came to my attention just now. It must have a reaon, justathought, that you asked this. Curious about the why.

The passed six-eight months a lot happened to me. I got the message that my nephew John took his own life, got one after the other problem to deal with, it just went crazy. I went to my doctor with oppressive complaints. It was due to a depression. Which is understandable if one knew what I was confronted with. I even made a list of my own miseries. Reading it I even got more dpressed...

SO, talking about death, I was ready to take my own life and let death make an end to this distress. I waited and waited.. not really ready to do it. Though the thoughts of it were active.
Frightening it was.

Lost my dad in '95. That was an impact, though I was secure, cause I had a good and integer band with him. My other brothers who lived more far away from home, had more problems. So thought I could cope with this kinda events in life. I truly loved my dad and of course it did hurt.

So, talking about it. I think that's good. it helps me put my thoughts to a medium. Don't really care if you're ready for my story. Cause I ain't ready with the whole picture yet. Sometimes I even get the thought, well John did it... can be done. So, I'm not ready with all of it. But it's good to write it down, considering it.

Some things are still active as I write. After 4 years of being unemployed and confronted that the working community is not waiting for a 46-year-old, so not able to get a proper job, I got depreesed in the first place. After a number of events following up one another that started 6-8 months ago, won't bother yall with details, I lost it complete. So I am on pills now, hate that but "like" the bottom-line it creates.

Understand my view on death? I guess I will not end my life... I guess I simply can't... seems there's somthing to live for to, like my 2 children. I am divorced and one of my problems is a legal dispute with my ex-wife. Which brings lots of troubles, thoughts etc.

Guess most of the members writing to this discussion are americans. I'm from the Netherlands, Holland. As I think of it now I think life sucks big time. It has a reason obviously that I think this way. Hope life, as it turns, will turn in favor of me and become more joyfull to live.

Just another view on death.....

Collapse -

Fight back

by razor1947 In reply to Interesting that you ask ...

Take care my friend. Sorry to hear of all your troubles, and heart aches. Killing yourself would not really solve anything, no matter how you try to explain it.
I think it is about time you start thinking about yourself, and start being good to yourself. The **** with thinking about everyone else for a while, loved ones or not. It is time for you to start a life for yourself, and be a little selfish about it also. Don't let everyone beat you down. Stand up and say-- I'm important too, and by God, all of you are not going to rush me to the grave, or a mental ward. I'm going to do something for myself !! If I'm unable right at the moment, I'm going to start making plans to do something that I have always wanted to do. You have to love yourself, before you can muster the strength to deal with everything that has been dumped in your lap.
Do something that is going to put a smile on your face bud. Give yourself a little TLC (TENDER LOVING CARE)
You have to much time time on your hands to feel sorry for yourself. Once you see that you actually like the person in that body that your dragging around, things will start in the right direction for you. Your 46. I'm 58 and have nothing to brag about. My marriage is up and down, the bills keep adding up, I have heart trouble, and I can't quit smoking. I'm not a bad looking man, and I'm kind hearted. But most of all, I love me. Sounds stupid, you say ??
Not at all, I keep looking for ways to keep me happy, and interested. Things that I like. After a while, you'll gain strength to deal with other matters. If you can't like yourself, how do you expect anyone to see the goodness in you.
Give it a try, you have nothing to loose, and a ton of good things to gain.
Respectfully, RAY

Related Discussions

Related Forums