General discussion

  • Creator
  • #2251409

    Don’t shake my hand


    by maxwell edison ·

    (Due warning for the faint-hearted. Graphic descriptions might follow.)

    Contrary to what others might think, I’m a very cordial and sociable kinda’ guy. However, I’m beginning to think that I should stop the practice of shaking one’s hand when extended in greeting.

    I was standing in the restroom the other day (“standing” should be a hint), and some other guy came out of the stall (“standing” versus “the stall” should be descriptive enough). Did he go to the sink to wash his hands? Nooooooo — right for the door and out he went. This wasn’t a one-time occurrence, of course, as it’s been suggested that up to twenty percent of people do not wash their hands after using the restroom. (I wonder if there’s been a “stall” versus “standing” comparison?) Men are worse offenders than women, by the way. (Don’t ask me how I know!) However, I wonder how accurate that twenty percent number really is? After all, who would actually admit to not washing their hands after using the restroom? And how many people might do it only when there’s someone else in there to see, and not do it when they’re alone? I would bet that it’s higher than twenty percent.

    A few minutes later I was walking down the hallway, and I see this other guy with his finger so far up his nose that you’d think he was digging for gold. According to some publication that I may or may not have read (and which may or may not be reliable, depending on your desired end conclusion), upwards of 65 percent of people pick their nose regularly throughout the day. I’ve yet to see a study on how many of those people wash THEIR hands afterwards. I’d also bet that more men than women pick their noses. After all, those fingernails could really do some damage! (By the way, do you know which bacteria is most prevalent on the utensils used in buffet lines?)

    It’s cold and flu season, you know, and I can’t tell you how many people I’ve seen sneeze and cough into their bare hands. I’ve never seen one of them, however, wash their hands afterwards. And how many people blow their nose into a tissue, only to blow a huge hole right through it? My God, they may as well blow their nose right into their hands!

    At the end of a day observing such behavior, I went into the break room for a cup of coffee. “Fresh coffee coming up”, someone told me as he was fumbling through the filters to pick one out. On second thought, perhaps I shouldn’t have a cup of coffee so late in the day — especially since I wasn’t sure that he wasn’t the same guy I saw digging for gold earlier!

    And just think about all those keyboards and mice you fondle each and every day!

    For some reason, I’ve been wondering about something. What would be a good way to politely refrain from shaking one’s hand? And some people, you know, are so danged pushy about it!

All Comments

  • Author
    • #2495423

      ah Max… ?:|

      by dawgit ·

      In reply to Don’t shake my hand

      are you feeling ok? Do I need to start worying about you? I hate to tell you this, but you’re right, and what’s worse, this is not new. What is it that caused you to notice this now?
      The fabric of our socity is un raveling. Personal Hygene (or rather the lack of it) is only one example of that. We as a civilation are going back-ward. And have been for some time. Bad news, sad news, but true.
      Welcome to the ‘New World Order’.
      Keep in mind that the coffee was made the same way the day before, and you drank some. It didn’t kill you. It prabably won’t today either.
      You can’t change the way it is either, because they don’t / won’t get it.
      Sorry Max. But welcome to the 21st Century. -d

    • #2495421

      Free nuts

      by neilb@uk ·

      In reply to Don’t shake my hand

      Some bars put free peanuts on the bar. I guess the idea is that the salt in them will enhance the thirst and sell more beer or maybe the publican is just nice.

      BUT, having seen what you’ve seen, I would NEVER take any peanuts from that dish!

      You are OK with the coffee, you know. You’re going to pass boiling water through the filter and that WILL kill anything. Except, I suppose, any thermophilic bacteria that may be evolving in adaptation to global warming.

      At the other end of the spectrum there are those who are so obsessed about germs that they will only flush a stall toilet (mostly with a handle in the UK) with their feet and open the door to the stall with their hands wrapped in bogroll paper. It would seem that they are quite a large minority of the toilet-going public. These, at least, then wash their hands.

      Takes all sorts.

      Neil 😀

      This post has been disinfected and is free from all bacteria and most viruses including (I hope) Wildthrill.

      • #2495413

        Boiling water to kill bacteria

        by maxwell edison ·

        In reply to Free nuts

        Water should be boiled for 10 minutes to kill all bacteria. The 10 minute standard is for boiling at sea level. You should boil it for an additional 1 minute per 1,000 feet (~300 meters) in altitude. (For me, that would be close to 16 minutes total.)

        The boiling point of water (at sea level) is about 212 degrees Fahrenheit (100 degrees Celsius). It’s slightly lower at higher altitudes, but still over 200 degrees.

        The temperature of water in the brewer of most coffee makers is about 200 degrees Fahrenheit (93 degrees Celsius), just short of the boiling point (except at McDonalds when lawsuits are involved).

        The typical commercial-type coffee makers will brew the coffee for only two minutes.

        Therefore, brewing coffee will not kill bacteria, but only make it taste better!

        P.S. When you said “free nuts” I thought you were going to wonder about what “some hands” were just scratching!

      • #2495388

        Scientific Study or Urban Myth

        by drowningnotwaving ·

        In reply to Free nuts

        … that suggested a study had been performed / commission in the USA and had found that, on average, the “public” nut jar had in excess of 8 different urine samples, at least 1 sperm count and 1 e.coli (“poo”).

        (Note the only reason that this had been done in the USA was becuase most other nations are too f’ckin stingy and stupid to consider giving free nuts to patrons to encourage their drinking patterns).

        I recall this being put up on a management presentation in Miami (I am struggling to remember why it was considered important, but I tried to search for anything similar:

        I think “anecdotal” is perhaps kinder than urban myth.

        • #2495311

          There’s a couple of pubs near me

          by neilb@uk ·

          In reply to Scientific Study or Urban Myth

          that put out nuts on Sundays. I’ve seen many people come straight out of the gents, scoop a handful of nuts and return to their seat and pass the nuts around. Do they wash or do they walk? Is it polite to ask?

          I did point out the possibility one lunchtime and it was quite funny to see the faces of a few of my friends.

          I think that from a purely microbiological standpoint, it’s not so bad if someone has just been for a quick wiz, but anything else…

          Subject CLOSED! 😀

        • #2495215

          quick wiz

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to There’s a couple of pubs near me

          Isn’t urine suppose to be sterile? It is the OTHER gift you leave behind that has the bacteria that KILLS people?

        • #2495211

          I’m agreeing with you

          by neilb@uk ·

          In reply to quick wiz

          Make the most of it, it doesn’t happen too often! 😀

          It would be OK eating the peanuts if it WAS just a quick wiz but I generally don’t study how long anyone has been in the gents so the best value judgement is to buy your own peanuts…

          Free peanuts just may carry a price that you don’t want to pay! ]:)

        • #2495168

          That leads to a worse situation

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to I’m agreeing with you

          Sure, the quick wasn’t bad, but how do you know they wash their package that they were just handling?

          And yes, if you “shake it” more than 100 times, that is considered excessive! :0

        • #2495218

          Actually, I have seen some of the research

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to Scientific Study or Urban Myth

          they put a chemical on the guys hands, and then let him go to town. After a half hour, they turn on a black light and his DNA is everywhere.

          What is VERY common in my area is they have baskets of fresh popcorn sitting on the tables. They bring you a basket when you sit down, one basket per table.

      • #2495224

        Here is a visual for you

        by jdclyde ·

        In reply to Free nuts

        Don’t remember what comedian said it, but it still makes me laugh.

        “The last time I got a piece of a$$ was when my finger went through the toilet paper!” :p

        I just don’t like to think how accurate that may or may not be…… :0

    • #2495420

      You know my favorite three words.

      by stress junkie ·

      In reply to Don’t shake my hand

      People are …

      Hint. The … represents a noun.

      Anyway, it became clear to me a long time ago that if you eat in restaurants frequently then you are going to eat s–t frequently. People don’t wash their hands even when they are going to handle other people’s food.

      Forget about shaking hands. What about door handles? Plenty of germs there.

      Yes, people are …

      Fortunately for us our bodies are built to handle this sort of thing. It is only rarely that we actually get sick from eating food that was handled improperly or from shaking hands or from touching door knobs. But the situation is pretty disgusting when you think about it.

    • #2495395

      Its best not to think too deeply about this Max

      by av . ·

      In reply to Don’t shake my hand

      You can’t change people, so you’ll have to change yourself.

      Take a page from Monk. Carry wipes. Everytime you touch something that someone else has touched, use them. Thats what I do.

      Just in case you’re wondering, most women are much better than men but there are some that are just as bad. I don’t care. I use wipes no matter what just in case they missed something. :^0

      I’d like to add something to your list of disgusting things people do. How about the used tissue by the mouse that you have to touch to work on their computers? What I do is bring a wipe with me and just put the wipe over the palm of my hand so I don’t have to touch it or anything else at their workstation. I can even type through them.

      I guess I’m probably as obsessed as you, huh? But unlike you, I try not to think about who made the coffee or who cooked my food in the restaurant. Some things are just better left unknown.

      • #2495391

        What I use — Purell

        by w2ktechman ·

        In reply to Its best not to think too deeply about this Max

        a hand sanitizer, and yes I do wash my hands frequently.
        However, as you say, I am all over the place, so I keep sanitizer around. And NO, I am not a freak or germophobe.

    • #2495386

      Frenchman, Englishman and Australian in a bar …

      by drowningnotwaving ·

      In reply to Don’t shake my hand

      All three are sitting in a bar with a very pretty and sophisticated lady and are vying for her attention.

      The Frenchman gets up to the bathroom and doesn’t come back for 10 minutes.

      When he returns the lady politely asks why he was so long. In his thickest french, he replies:

      [i]”After using the bathroom, I wash my hands three times, I clean the sink to make sure there is no residue, and I wash my hands three times again, just to make sure they are as pure as pure can be”[/i].

      All seem duly impressed.

      In a couple of minutes the Englishman gets up. In 20 minutes, upon his return, his response to the same question was:

      [i]”I wash my hands 4 times, then I call the attendant and demand he supplies fresh boiling water and clean towels for me to repeat the process. I have the high standards of the British royal family!”[/i].

      All nod their heads knowlingly.

      In a couple of minutes time the Aussie gets up, goes to the bathroom and comes back in about 90 seconds.

      His response, to their amazed and astonished looks, is:

      [i][b]”I don’t piss on my fingers.”[/i][/b]


      That, with the assistance of the international date line, is truly my Friday Yuk.

    • #2495384

      I’m with you..

      by maecuff ·

      In reply to Don’t shake my hand

      I can block the whole germ/eating in a restaurant/doorknobs are nasty thing. I just don’t like to be touched by other people. And when I say other people, I mean people who I don’t share any intimacy with. My family and a few close friends are fine, but for the most part, I do not want to touch or be touched by other humans. It makes me uncomfortable. With that being said, the other day, our CEO, who I’ve spoken to maybe a dozen times in the 6 years I’ve been with this company, felt the need to give me that little half hug, half pat on the back thing. He must have noticed the immediate look of revulsion on my face, because he backed up quickly. I bet HE doesn’t wash his hands, either. Ewwwww…

      • #2495228

        It is your own fault, you know….

        by jdclyde ·

        In reply to I’m with you..

        If you weren’t so hot, people would not be trying to touch you all the time! 😡

        A good hint would be when they start to rub against your leg and say “ohhhh yeeeaaaahhhhhh”

        ( right gg? ;\ )

        • #2495208

          That is true

          by maecuff ·

          In reply to It is your own fault, you know….

          Hotness all around with me. But still, he’s like 68 years old and really NOT friendly. He may be able to control my fate on this job, but he doesn’t get to touch the goods. Even in a creepy, grandfatherly way..

        • #2495164

          In the meetings

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to That is true

          he tells you to sit on papa Eddies lap? :0

        • #2495163

          I’d rather

          by maecuff ·

          In reply to In the meetings

          lick a doorknob..

        • #2504047

          Does he play the

          by w2ktechman ·

          In reply to That is true

          Dirty Old Man well?

          I know a few who can if you want to meet them!

    • #2495383

      So … who’s up for Karaoke?

      by drowningnotwaving ·

      In reply to Don’t shake my hand

      F’ck me, if you guys are freaked out about the door knobs, you do NOT want to know what goes down a microphone !!

      It gets all the yummies from the fingers, PLUS the mouth (usually including lips) as well as a healthy dose of sweat.

      “Mi grubby germ e tu grubby germ”.

      We’ve survived this long.

      I’m guessing the ones that are really worried about this never had too many one night stands back in college?

      What are you telling your kids? Take disinfectant wipes to the next dance?


    • #2495380

      As w2ktehcman pointed out,

      by mjwx ·

      In reply to Don’t shake my hand

      Hand sanitizers, polly’s use it all the time when they go to public gatherings.

      I don’t know if you take this as seriously in the states but to an Australian shaking someone’s hand at the very least polite, its an indication of how sincere you are. If you’re doing business with an Aussie extends their hand refusing to shake it is amongst the rudest things you could do. Like I said I don’t know how seriously you take shaking hands in the states.

      If you want to be fastidious I recommend the sanitizer as opposed to refusing to shake someone’s hand. I don’t really worry, I don’t east the free nuts and wash my hands before I eat.

    • #2495372

      Purell Hand Sanitiser

      by tig2 ·

      In reply to Don’t shake my hand

      In my suit coat pocket. I use it constantly.

      I believe that 20% is an understatement. I would opt for somewhere between 30 and 40%.

      The killer is that you exit the stall and turn the water on with the soiled hand that you wish to cleanse. You wash carefully. Then you reach for the same knob that turned the water on (with its payload of germs that you wish to be rid of!) and turn the water off. Unless you are me.

      Having been a nurse, I actually went to school to learn how to wash my hands the right way and, let me tell you- the lessons stuck.

      Wash your hands in plenty of soapy water. Next reach for a towel and dry them. Using the towel you have dried your hands on, turn off the water.

      I also keep a supply of antibacterial wipes handy. I use them to clean my keyboard weekly and my phone daily. I always keep a loaner pen handy and will not loan a pen I really like. My fiance found himself in that spot once. The person requesting the loan of his pen put it in his mouth over the course of the conversation. Needless to say, my fiance let the pen go.

      A couple of other treasures I have seen- washing one’s face in the drinking fountain and blowing one’s nose in the sink. EEEWWWWW!

      Edit- spelling

    • #2495370

      You [i]speculate[/i] about women picking their noses…

      by absolutely ·

      In reply to Don’t shake my hand

      but you declare with certainty that they wash their hands more often after using the toilet. I think a confession is in order. I’m waiting.

      [i]This wasn’t a one-time occurrence, of course, as it’s been suggested that up to twenty percent of people do not wash their hands after using the restroom. (I wonder if there’s been a “stall” versus “standing” comparison?) Men are worse offenders than women, by the way. (Don’t ask me how I know!) …I’d also bet that more men than women pick their noses.[/i]

      • #2495366

        I will NEVER tell

        by maxwell edison ·

        In reply to You [i]speculate[/i] about women picking their noses…

        No confession. I will never tell how I know. You can wait until hell freezes over or the earth boils away from global warming. I don’t care. I will never divulge my “source”.

      • #2495341

        Its true.

        by jevan205 ·

        In reply to You [i]speculate[/i] about women picking their noses…

        But its true. What girl goes to the toilet and doesnt wash their hands?? I think you are the only person who will say something against it.

        • #2495304

          think again

          by shellbot ·

          In reply to Its true.

          What girl goes to the toilet and doesnt wash their hands??

          Plenty of them..and the things i see..ewwee..
          coming out of the stall, going to the mirror digging in the handbag to get the lip gloss, and using thier fingers to put in on with

          how sick is that..some people are so gross..i’m with Mae..don’t touch me ..

          however, i’m not obsessed by it, and i just try and put it out my mind. we’ve lived alongside bacteria for a long time now, our bodies are pretty good at dealing with it..

          but yes..people, you know who you are , wash your frikkin hands after using the toilet.

        • #2504216

          Girls can be gross too

          by ganyssa ·

          In reply to think again

          A year or so ago, I was in the bathroom washing my hands when a co-worker exited one of the stalls. She walked over to the other sink, rinsed off *one finger* and exited the bathroom.

          I’ve been traumatized ever since. She delivers the mail.

        • #2495086


          by shellbot ·

          In reply to Girls can be gross too

          yuk, she does the she touches everyones stuff..


      • #2504181

        women vs men

        by locolobo ·

        In reply to You [i]speculate[/i] about women picking their noses…

        I can’t answer the question about washing hands, but in college (74-80) I worked in a grocery store and a service station. Part of my job was cleaning the rest room. At the grocery store the women left it cleaner the men every time.

        For some reason at the service station the women were often worse than the men. I regularly had to put on the big gloves and reach into the seat to clean it. (YUK!) When this happened the outside was just as filthy. Don’t know if the info means anything just my 2 cents.

    • #2495367

      As a disclaimer (for those who may not have known)

      by maxwell edison ·

      In reply to Don’t shake my hand

      My message was somewhat tongue-in-cheek. (Not “firmly” tongue-in-cheek”, but loosely.) Although there’s certainly an element of truth to what I say (obviously), I’m not exactly “obsessed” with remaining “germ-free”. Howard Hughes was weird; I’m not.

    • #2495346

      Just a little to far

      by levan93 ·

      In reply to Don’t shake my hand

      Everything you just said was true but theres germs everywhere so i dont think not shaking someones hand it going to make much of a difference. I think you thought about this a little to much. You’ve probably got just as many germs on your hand as the next person.

    • #2495345

      Understandable but too far.

      by jevan205 ·

      In reply to Don’t shake my hand

      Everything you said in that was true.
      But are you saying that after everything you do you wash your hands?? There are germs everywhere. I suggest you try not to think about it. Or if you meet someone new after shaking their hand and having a conversation with them go wash your hands. With this whole omg i cant drink the coffee because they might not have washed their hands, i think that is a little too far. There are some people in this world who do wash their hands. I dont think there is another way to be polite with out shaking their hand. so in the nicest way possible dont think about it so much. You have the same amount of germs as everyone else.

      • #2495279

        Let me ask you this

        by maxwell edison ·

        In reply to Understandable but too far.

        If you saw some guy walking out of the toilet stall without washing his hands (and you KNOW where his hands had just been!), and you then saw the same guy picking his nose, and then, you saw the same guy sneezing into those hands, and you then saw the same guy fumbling with the coffee filters to remove just one (you know how those dastardly things stick together!), would you take the cup of coffee he just offered you and shake his hand as a nice gesture?

        (By the way, you’re not “that” guy, are you?)

      • #2495240

        Including, I suspect,…

        by tonythetiger ·

        In reply to Understandable but too far.

        [i]There are germs everywhere.[/i]

        … soap dispenser outlets 🙂

        • #2504241


          by inkling ·

          In reply to Including, I suspect,…

          That is why you have to take the following steps when washing your hands:

          (1) Pump the paper towel dispenser a few times to get enough out to dry your hands.
          (2) Wash hands (not you sickos, a cursory splash of cold water isn’t “washing”).
          (3) Dry hands with paper towel.
          (4) Turn faucet off with said towel.
          (5) Open door with said towel.

          Foolproof plan right there. Unless, of course, you take into account the fact that the warehouse the paper towel shipped from was rat infested and the guy that loaded the paper towel into the dispenser was, emptying every garbage can in the builing, washing the toilets and floors and picking his nose all before using his grubby mits to paw the paper towels.

          Bottom line is, there is no escaping it.

          I try to be at least a little conscientious about germs (and I ALWAYS wash my hands), but when I think back to all the things I used to do when I was in my late teens/early 20s (one-night stands, making out at bars, building houses all day…you can imagine the things we did…without washing my hands before eating lunch), I don’t know why I bother.

          The best course of action is to try and not think about it because, no it’s not going to kill you, but it WILL disgust you.

        • #2503975

          About those paper towels

          by nicknielsen ·

          In reply to Indeed!

          Warehouses won’t ship damaged goods if they detect them, the paper towels are wrapped for cleanliness, and the guy that loaded the paper towels only handled the edges.

          Dry your hands with the middle. 😀

        • #2496876

          When I was in grade school

          by tonythetiger ·

          In reply to Indeed!

          it was all about germs this and germs that, don’t eat after someone else, wash your hands when coming in from outside, etc…. and that was fine I guess, until I saw a girl pick up a june bug from the ground and pop it into her mouth and “CRUNCH”. After seeing that, I can handle anything 🙂

    • #2495344


      by se_xis_fun ·

      In reply to Don’t shake my hand

      Get over it if they dont wash your hands it doesn’t matter. u only wash ytour hands when u pis on your self

      • #2495300

        Waste of time Maxwell

        by tony hopkinson ·

        In reply to get

        One of the dirtiest things you can handle is money. Someone who’s hand has just been down the back of his trousers is a newly sterilised scalpel by comparison. 😀

    • #2495323

      Congratulations Max, you just got KEV-ed

      by drowningnotwaving ·

      In reply to Don’t shake my hand

      …it happens to the best, so they say.

    • #2495307


      by sd support ·

      In reply to Don’t shake my hand

      have far too much time on your hands

      • #2495284

        You must be. . . . .

        by maxwell edison ·

        In reply to you

        …one of THOSE!

      • #2495281

        And I don’t really care. . . . .

        by maxwell edison ·

        In reply to you

      • #2495280

        I might have too much time on my hands. . . . .

        by maxwell edison ·

        In reply to you

        …..but what do you have on yours? Ewwwwwww

        • #2495262


          by langballse ·

          In reply to I might have too much time on my hands. . . . .

          one of those who ware glasses and are obeese.Arent you?That was a bit childish considering that it made no sence like ”there is more than words comming out of your mouth and there is a funny smell in the air”,see that indicates bull shit.Try harder next time.

        • #2495253

          And you

          by maecuff ·

          In reply to you

          are nearly illiterate, aren’t you?

        • #2495251


          by langballse ·

          In reply to And you

          and your a bit special yourself arent you?

        • #2495205


          by maecuff ·

          In reply to YAH

          And I can spell.

        • #2495185

          Don’t get sucked in Mae. He’s just another one of ……………….

          by sleepin’dawg ·

          In reply to Absolutely

          those ignorant little bog trotters that have been polluting TR as of late. If it weren’t for people like Shell, I would suggest a form of quarantining all of them; at least six months, before allowing any of them to post.

          All Irishmen seem to think they’re funny and they are; but not in the sense they think. It’smore in terms of being queer, or odd, rather than humerous. The pun and DE are intended.

          [b]Dawg[/b] ]:)

        • #2495180

          Dawg, check out a few posts down

          by neilb@uk ·

          In reply to Absolutely

          He was complaining that I’d been racist. And that I’d [b]removed the rely to button[/b].

          Classic! 😀

        • #2495174

          I know, Dawg

          by maecuff ·

          In reply to Absolutely

          I just can’t help myself. 🙂

        • #2495148

          to sleep bollocks

          by langballse ·

          In reply to Absolutely

          msg removed by moderator

          Message was edited by: moderator

        • #2495242

          Mae, don’t feed them

          by neilb@uk ·

          In reply to And you

          We seem to have a plague of puerile scrotes at the moment. They are attracted by seeing their own cretinous little ramblings in print but much more so by getting some of the attention that is so obviously missing in their sad lives.

          I suppose that if you’re completely worthless and everybody ignores you then getting REAL people to acknowledge you, even if they are just annoyed at you, is something to be treasured.

          They’ve taken a break from trashing bus shelters and public toilets and have come over here.

          Pity them. There might – just – be a human being in there.

        • #2495239


          by langballse ·

          In reply to Mae, don’t feed them


        • #2495227

          Come on then, smart boy

          by neilb@uk ·

          In reply to racist

          Racist? How?

        • #2495193

          Racist against

          by langballse ·

          In reply to racist

          the under privaleged.big boy.You could at least leave a post a reply button to the question ass wipe

        • #2495191

          I feel kind of bad

          by maecuff ·

          In reply to racist

          Neil didn’t give a ‘post a reply’ option?

’s not that you’re a jacka$$, is it? You’re just an idiot.

        • #2495189

          Yeah, Neil, what’s wrong with you??

          by dmambo ·

          In reply to racist

          First you post some sort of libel somewhere at some time for some reason somehow (please post a link so I can find it!), then you REMOVE the post a reply button!?!

          You have some friggin’ nerve, or something.
          (Somebody dope slap Palmetto for me)

        • #2495182

          Don’t mess with me!

          by neilb@uk ·

          In reply to racist

          Else I’ll rip out more of your buttons!

          Neil ]:)

          Be honest guys, wasn’t his probably the dumbest comment that we’ve had on here in a long time? It kind of makes it all worth while. 🙂

        • #2495181

          And it takes the pressure off me!

          by dmambo ·

          In reply to racist

          I’m not in the lead for dumbest anymore.

        • #2495178

          Not? Think again!

          by neilb@uk ·

          In reply to racist

          I’ve seen the exit polls… :p

        • #2495175

          Now you’re racist against dumb people!

          by dmambo ·

          In reply to racist

          Is there no end to your shamefulness?

          (BTW the ass wipe insult above was particularly appropriate to the subject, don’t you think?)

        • #2495171


          by maecuff ·

          In reply to racist

          I could be wrong, but I don’t think ‘dumb’ is a race. Perhaps intolerance against dumb people would be more appropriate?

          Again, I would never claim to be the smartest person in the world, so I could be wrong about this.

        • #2495169

          Well, mae

          by dmambo ·

          In reply to racist

          if Neil’s “Racist against the under privaleged.big boy”, can’t he be racist against the dumb?

          Only langballse knows for sure.

        • #2495161

          No, not the whole race

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to racist

          just you personally.

        • #2495156


          by maecuff ·

          In reply to racist

          you make a good point. I guess this means I have to b!tch slap Palmetto.

          Okay, I know it’s not the same as feeding the trolls, but once you get started, it’s kind of hard to stop.

        • #2504247

          When we’ve got such a STUPID troll as you

          by neilb@uk ·

          In reply to racist

          It is very hard not to feed you so we can get some more gems. We have Fridays, too.

          I see you’ve finally sussed out “what I did with the button”. Thanks for the comment as it is now the marker for the most stupid post.

        • #2504242

          Neil It must be hard

          by langballse ·

          In reply to racist

          being english neil.With 800 years of murder and bloodshed behind you.I see it carries on in the genes.I cant wait to get the north back.Such a corrupt government as well.Kill any iraq citizens lately.Of course you did,you pay tax , dont you

        • #2504239

          Why do you think that I’m English?

          by neilb@uk ·

          In reply to racist

          I’m not.

          I’ll give you a clue.

          Edited: To make it easier and to save you a guess; the clue is exactly wrong.

        • #2504230


          by langballse ·

          In reply to racist

          Just like you think im irish
          want a clue dic face

        • #2504224

          You just don’t know anything, do you?

          by neilb@uk ·

          In reply to racist

          I haven’t said where I think you are from although I guess it’s a better place when you’re not there. I’ve not said anything for or against the Irish and I neither know nor care if you’re from there.

          You’re a bit like a dog turd. What we all do with dog turds is we walk around them. We sometimes tread in them and get a bit annoyed but we wipe it off our shoe on the grass and move on.

        • #2504223


          by langballse ·

          In reply to racist

          Funny.I would’nt lower yourself to the scale of dog turd.Your not that bad.But if you want me to wipe my shoes i will.
          dog turd

        • #2495225

          I know you’re right

          by maecuff ·

          In reply to Mae, don’t feed them

          I guess that means I have to smack Palmetto.

          I’m sure there IS a human in there, and I would love to have some pity..I just don’t. 🙂

          How are you today? It’s Friday and it’s pay day, and the cold I’ve been trying to get is already going away..

        • #2495220

          Now I’VE got to slap Palmetto!

          by neilb@uk ·

          In reply to I know you’re right

          I’ve just broken my own rule and answered it. I guess that I’ll give ANYONE the benefit of the doubt no matter how much of a worthless shitfer they appear to be.

          I’m just too nice. 🙂

        • #2495204

          Mae, Neil, be sure to wash up afterward

          by dmambo ·

          In reply to I know you’re right

          We don’t know where Palmetto’s been.

        • #2495202

          Good advice

          by maecuff ·

          In reply to I know you’re right

          Although, I’m not too worried about cyber slaps. I don’t think I can catch anything from that.

        • #2495179

          Smack him hard

          by langballse ·

          In reply to I know you’re right

          To be honest i dont give a shit either to be honest, i just wanted to catch someone who was full of it.Its a beatiful day here and yes momma it is friday

        • #2495236

          Talk about issues and guilt

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to you

          Max brings up some very good points (that I think about regularly) and the only thing you raise your head out of your hole is to be insulting? You clearly have added nothing, so one must wonder about your own excess of time?

          As for what Max may or may not WEAR, first, why would it matter, and second, how would you determine it from his posting, not to mention his weight?

          Is there a gay, blind, fat man locked in your closet, just waiting to get out?

        • #2495219

          Answer to your question

          by langballse ·

          In reply to Talk about issues and guilt

          Yes, i am blind , fat and gay.How ever did you know , but anyway,i knew it.Your probably one too

        • #2495216

          Did you call?

          by neilb@uk ·

          In reply to Talk about issues and guilt

          OK, one out of three isn’t bad. And if the diet works…

          I find myself occasionally fantasising about one or two peers’ choice of clothes but I must admit that Max was never high on my list. Brrrr! That would worry me!

          Neil 🙂

          And before you ask, you neither!

        • #2495203


          by maecuff ·

          In reply to Did you call?

          I would not presume that I am on your fantasy list..however, if you need something to think about. Black clothes from head to toe and dark red lipstick. Even after 12 years I can stop my husband in his tracks. 🙂

        • #2495177

          Presume on…

          by neilb@uk ·

          In reply to Neil

          You’ve done it again, Mae. That, and GG’s basque…

          Courtesy of jdclyde!

        • #2495155

          Here you go Neil

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to Neil

        • #2495206

          Oops, jd’s on the prowl again!

          by dmambo ·

          In reply to Talk about issues and guilt

          Looking for a kindred spirit there, pal?

        • #2495157

          Areyou trying to

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to Oops, jd’s on the prowl again!

          make an offer? :0

        • #2504263

          I was dumb to post that

          by dmambo ·

          In reply to Areyou trying to

          Now you’re racist against the dumb like Neil. I’m starting to feel like a second-class citizen around here.

        • #2504255

          I wanted to post a reply

          by maecuff ·

          In reply to Areyou trying to

          to Mambo’s post, but he didn’t provide the ‘reply to post’ button. What a dumba$$.

          Anyway..Mambo, there are probably groups you can join. You know, be with your own kind. You can still lead a productive life. You can make macaroni pictures and you can use glue and glitter and scissors (but only the kind with rounded edges). Just don’t hurt yourself by worrying about this too much. We all have our strengths and weaknesses.

        • #2504236

          But I don’t WANT to move to Ireland!!!

          by dmambo ·

          In reply to Areyou trying to

          (Sorry, shell) 😉

        • #2504235


          by maecuff ·

          In reply to Areyou trying to

          Very good response for someone with limited abilities. 🙂

          Ditto on the ‘no offense to Shell’

        • #2504228


          by langballse ·

          In reply to Areyou trying to

          Please dont move to ireland.We have enough foreigners here all ready.You comming to find your roots , just like all you tossers

    • #2495246

      Haven’t you heard

      by tonythetiger ·

      In reply to Don’t shake my hand

      that exposure to small amounts of bacteria is actually good for your immune system? 🙂

      • #2495233

        Yes, I have heard that

        by maxwell edison ·

        In reply to Haven’t you heard

        But regardless, something else I don’t do is frolic in any of the local waste water facilities, oftentimes known as water parks!

    • #2495237

      I have two word for you

      by langballse ·

      In reply to Don’t shake my hand

      Howard Hughes

      • #2495229
      • #2495176

        Langballse@ you might find this informative.

        by sleepin’dawg ·

        In reply to I have two word for you

        This is the general consensus around here of your intellect.

        [b]Dawg[/b] ]:)

        • #2495153

          I dont

          by langballse ·

          In reply to Langballse@ you might find this informative.

          click on links from people like you.They tend to contain a virus

        • #2503992

          As they say,”It takes one to know one.” or are you too dense to get that.

          by sleepin’dawg ·

          In reply to I dont

          Well you do serve one useful purpose around here; you’ve achieved a consensus amongst the regulars, that you’re nothing but a nasty, ignorant, little ill-mannered turd.

          It’s not often consensus is achieved around here but you are the exception that proves the rule; condoms are not a fail-safe method of birth control. I would think this is especially true in Ireland where until recently, they were not regularly available and the ones that were had to be constantly reused. Those conditions makes your existence almost understandable, if not excusable, even if you are a [b[i][u]]intolerably stupid[/u] little git[/i][/b]. The best part of you probably never got loose; pity that. Your mother probably had to nurse you upsidedown, because she couldn’t stand the sight of you.

          For my part I’m enjoying the diversion of gratuitously insulting you but sad to say I’m probably wasting my time because most of this is probably over your head; you know, that’s the big lump that keeps your ears apart. :^0

          [b]Dawg[/b] ]:)

    • #2495230

      don’t shake my hand

      by mr_nice_guy ·

      In reply to Don’t shake my hand

      man i agree with you. just give me a hug. but please make sure ur clean too. lol. too much people take health and hygene for granted. they don’t know that they are shortening their lives that way, or shortening mine as a matter of fact. good observation Max.

      • #2495152

        Your gay arent you

        by langballse ·

        In reply to don’t shake my hand


        • #2503956

          As I said above…………….

          by sleepin’dawg ·

          In reply to Your gay arent you

          Just another bog trotting ignorant little fleigler as if you weren’t already sufficiently handicapped, or to be PC, challenged. :^0

          [b]Dawg[/b] ]:)

    • #2495221

      My favorite joke after washing my hands

      by jdclyde ·

      In reply to Don’t shake my hand

      you make a point of not drying all the way.

      I then come out to my boys, wipe my wet hand on their neck or cheek and say “Don’t you just hate it when there isn’t any toilet paper!” :0

      They KNOW what I did, but you can’t help but get a “EEEWWWWWW!” feeling, just thinking about it! :^0

    • #2495210

      A pat on the shoulder?

      by dmambo ·

      In reply to Don’t shake my hand

      Maybe we can start a tradition of giving each other a light pat on the shoulder. Then you’d be touching, for the most part, a clothed area. At least it’s not an area that touches restroom surfaces or other restroom “things”

      I heard a NY state health worker in a radio interview a couple of days ago state that the single most effective disease prevention technique known is hand washing.

    • #2504225


      by langballse ·

      In reply to Don’t shake my hand

      In fairness , after all your talk (bullshite) , you have great respect for your friends post.
      Fukking brilliant
      Great discussion

    • #2504222

      Thanks for the entertainment today

      by langballse ·

      In reply to Don’t shake my hand

      I’ll talk to you monday

    • #2504220

      Don’t borrow their cell phones

      by dr dij ·

      In reply to Don’t shake my hand

      supposedly 40% of people use cellphones while ‘on the can’.

      This from some guy blogging about it who noticed people coming out of stalls at airport, cellphone in hand. And heard them talking in stalls.

    • #2504176

      It’s the end of civilization (See the movie)

      by Mark W. Kaelin ·

      In reply to Don’t shake my hand

      I posted an educational film on just this sort of thing in the Geekend blog:

      • #2504131

        I had just explained that to one of my sisters.

        by stress junkie ·

        In reply to It’s the end of civilization (See the movie)

        I was talking to one of my sisters about this very subject a couple of weeks ago. The subject came up because of the episode of the Rosanne show where Rosanne pretended to be a man and use a men’s public rest room. She started talking to someone who was using the urinal adjacent to the one where she was standing. My sister didn’t understand how egregious a breach of etiquette was depicted by that scene. I tried to explain it but I don’t believe that she really understood the visceral revulsion that most men experience if faced with a talking bathroom user.

        In business many managers use this etiquette to establish their dominance by violating these rules. They will deliberately start a conversation with someone who works for them while they are both in the bathroom. They may even walk up to and start to use a urinal adjacent to the one that is in use by the subordinate employee!! The subordinate employee is faced with either ignoring the manager and facing those consequences or humiliating himself by participating in the conversation, thereby establishing his submission to the bathroom talking manager.

        I have been so bold as to tell some conversational bathroom users that I strongly adhere to the no talking bathroom rule. This is most easily done without consequences if the rogue talker is perceived by yourself to be a peer. That, in fact, may be helpful in establishing your relationship with others if you are in a public place. You just tell the bathroom talker to shut the h–l up. At that point they know that you are not impressed or intimidated by them. This tactic can sometimes lead to a knife fight but usually the other person either keeps talking or shuts up.

        That little movie may be useful in keeping the peace in men’s rooms. I hope that a lot of people will watch it and learn how to behave in public bathrooms. 😀

        • #2504111

          Oh dear god..

          by maecuff ·

          In reply to I had just explained that to one of my sisters.

          Is this true??? you guys actually use bathrooms to establish dominance??

          At best? We woman won’t defecate if another woman is in the bathroom.

        • #2504104

          Yes it’s true.

          by stress junkie ·

          In reply to Oh dear god..

          You learn something every day. 😀

        • #2504089

          I made it

          by maecuff ·

          In reply to Yes it’s true.

          to my fourth decade and had no idea.

          Once again, I am reminded that I am truly and profoundly thankful that I am female.

        • #2504070

          I’m truly glad I’m a man …

          by stress junkie ·

          In reply to I made it

          … whenever I see a beautiful woman.

          I’ll tell you one thing. It’s worth ANYTHING to NOT be on the receiving end of a romantic encounter. I’m a giver at heart, and other places. I don’t want to receive. Never. Ever.

          So I’m very glad that I’m a man. 😀

        • #2504096

          at best?

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to Oh dear god..

          yet one more clear example of the male dominance in the world. If you can clear the room, you are a god! 😀

          It is also fun when you have an especially successful session in the single bathrooms, to CLOSE THE DOOR AND TURN OFF THE FAN. This leaves a little something for the next to use that room. If your within distance to hear the chokes, it can truly be the highlight of your day! :^0

        • #2504090


          by maecuff ·

          In reply to at best?

          very sad

        • #2503939

          Oh come on Mae!

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to Sad

          like you didn’t laugh at the fart scene in “Rocket Man”? The boys and I were in tears during that show!

          In the old daze of going to the arcade, it used to be a pain when someone was playing on your favorite game. The solution was to stand next to them and fart. They would lose concentration and “game over”! B-)

          It is the simple things in life that bring such joy! 😀

        • #2503937


          by maecuff ·

          In reply to Oh come on Mae!

          Never caught on to the whole flatulence humor. Once again, this is another reason why you’re such simple creatures..

        • #2503965

          I’ve never cleared a room

          by nicknielsen ·

          In reply to at best?

          But I have emptied a car. 😀

          And once I got the dog blamed. :^0

        • #2503940

          BAD DOG!

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to I’ve never cleared a room

          Oh yeah, the dog is a ready-made scape-goat!

          Although in my situation, the dog is just as bad. She usually is at my feet when I am at home, but when she starts, I send her upstairs where the boys are playing video games. Then she can spend some “quality time” with them!


    • #2503979

      Even worse

      by nicknielsen ·

      In reply to Don’t shake my hand

      One day I was walking out of the men’s room ([b]after[/b] washing my hands) and reaching for the door. The guy behind me asked, “Do you know how many p3nises have touched that handle?”

      My immediate response was, “Directly or by proxy?”

      I’ve taken to opening the door with the paper towels after my hands are dry…

      Edit: runaway formatting

      • #2503933

        every time

        by jdclyde ·

        In reply to Even worse

        everytime I leave the bathroom, I do that. It is a pain when they only have the air dryers, so you have to go to a stall and get some tissue to grab the door with.

        Think about that then next time your wife/GF wants to give you a kiss AFTER a BJ….. :0

        • #2495069

          oh, i see how it is now

          by shellbot ·

          In reply to every time

          your happy to have her do the deed, yet you won’t kiss her after..
          one presumes if you washed well enough in the first place you woulnd’t be too worried about the kiss ]:)

        • #2495017

          Being the hopeless romantic

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to oh, i see how it is now

          I like to kiss her neck and shoulders, or maybe take a nap. ]:)

        • #2495005


          by shellbot ·

          In reply to Being the hopeless romantic

          I’m betting on the “take a nap” option ]:)

          holy mother of ronald mcdonald i’m in a fierce b1tchy mood, and there’s not a thing on TR thats amusing. On the upside..40 mins and its quitting time (que Flintstones music..Yabba dabba do)

          I’m stuck doing being a dba makes me the first choice to do this i don’t know..maybe cause i know how to use a computer..she even wants pie charts for a presentation..not my thing, haven’t a clue..

          *gggrrrrr* I’m going to sulk now…

        • #2494936

          Statistics are fun :^0

          by dawgit ·

          In reply to ya..right

          You can manipulate those puppies to a meow.
          (of course, statisticly, I’m supposed to be Dead.!. ?:| Ha.!.) -d

        • #2496812


          by shellbot ·

          In reply to Statistics are fun :^0

          theres a 98.4 chance i am going to require being checked into a mental hospital when i’m done them..

        • #2496768

          Thats ok

          by steffi28 ·

          In reply to Statistics are fun :^0

          Mental hospitals are the most fun 😀
          I think I should of been checked into a long time ago, but now they wont take me. They say I’ve gone too far over that I’ll make the other patients seem sane 🙁

        • #2496706

          The problem is

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to Statistics are fun :^0

          when your sane enough to know that your insane!

          Kind of like it goes full circle.

          Of course, to get a list of the nicest “rest homes” to visit, you would have to check in with Col. Talk about someone with inside connections! B-)

Viewing 25 reply threads