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Elder Lurker

By elderlurker ·
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Defining Moments

by elderlurker In reply to Elder Lurker

<div xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml">
<strong>lurk*er [lerker]</strong>
<br />
<br />
<em>noun</em>
<br />
<br />1. One who lurks, in particular a user of an Internet chat room or newsgroup who does not participate.<br />
<br />2. One who posts anonymously to a blog his thoughts and impressions on technology, looking to excite some, infuriate others, and expose those who walk in techonological darkness.</div><p><div class="blogdisclaim"><a href="http://elderlurker.blogspot.com/2006/02/defining-moments.html">This post originally appeared on an external website</a></div>

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Out of the Mists...

by elderlurker In reply to Elder Lurker

<div xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"><strong>Who know what technological evil lurks in the hearts of men?...The Elder Lurker knows.</strong> <br /><br />Out of darkening mists, in the difused light of a street lamp steps a figure. His identity known only to a few he uses his anonymity to expose technology. Turn to look toward the approaching footsteps behind you and suddenly he is gone.<br /><br />Technology waits for no man, but make no mistake, it's machinations will be exposed to the light of day...by...the Elder Lurker.<br /><br />- E.L.</div>
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<div class="blogdisclaim"><a href="http://elderlurker.blogspot.com/2006/02/out-of-mists.html">This post originally appeared on an external website</a></div>

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A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Post Office...

by elderlurker In reply to Elder Lurker

<div xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml">He barged through my office door, sweaty and smelling of processed meat. Evidently Betty was on her break or she would have announced my guest.<br />
<br />As I dropped my feet from my desk and raised the brim of favorite fedora he started right in with a tale of woe.<br />
<br />"It's them," he nearly whispered, "they've found a way to take away my profits...legally."<br />
<br />Assuming that he was worried about a run in with union thugs I told him to contact the bunko squad down at City Hall. But he assured me that was the least of his problems.<br />
<br />"For years, Mr. Lurker, I've been making my money on the open market, flooding e-mail inboxes with useless ads for everything from gorgeous gams to erectile disfunction. Now the big wigs at [insert your favorite e-mail delivery system here] are looking for a cut. It's not fair--I'm ruined. I relied on the complete openness of the system and the ignorance of the majority of its users to create my empire. Now they'll just shut me down. You've got to help me out."<br />
<br />Normally I don't give a billable hour a second look, but at this point I told him to take the door, or my 15th story window--I didn't care.<br />
<br />"You'll regret this Mr. Lurker," he yelled over his shoulder, nearly running over Betty on his way into the hall. Though I was glad to see the spam tycoon get his comeuppance, I had a sinking feeling he'd be right.<br />
<br />- E.L.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://news.com.com/Postage+is+due+for+companies+sending+e-mail/2100-1038_3-6035276.html">CNET - Postage is due for companies sending e-mail</a>
</div><p><div class="blogdisclaim"><a href="http://elderlurker.blogspot.com/2006/02/funny-thing-happened-on-way-to-post.html">This post originally appeared on an external website</a></div>

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Will Someone Please Answer the Fon?!

by elderlurker In reply to Elder Lurker

<div xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml">The communications paperweight that sits like a half-dead dog on the corner of my desk began to ring.<br />
<br />"I don't know how much time I have to talk," came a breathless voice over the line. "I had to roam for miles just find a connection, and I don't know how long I can afford to stay on the line." I was hoping she'd stay on long enough to make an appointment. Not only could I use the cash, but if she looked half as good as she sounded she'd be a sight for these sore peepers.<br />
<br />I told her not to worry, that soon enough she'd no longer have to seek out the nearest Starbucks for some over-priced connectivity and over-hyped coffee. A new player was coming to town, and big money was backing him. Soon she'd be able to connect to a phone with a capital "F", and keep her money in her pocket.<br />
<br />She still needed more information and was determined to make it to my office. I assured her that since we were close to a communications breakthrough that it wouldn't belong before her car could guide her into town on it's own.<br />
<br />"I like your positive outlook on the future, Mr. Lurker." I heard the smile in her voice as she hung up. I let the handset linger at my ear for a moment longer, and finally resigned myself to putting it down.<br />
<br />It's the waiting that kills you.<br />
<br />- E.L.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.informationweek.com/news/showArticle.jhtml?articleID=179100611">InformationWeek: Wifi Start-up Gets Funding from Google, Skype</a>
<br />
<a href="http://gadgets.engadget.com/2006/02/04/vw-nav-prototype-incorporates-google-sat-imagery/">Engadget: VW Nav Prototype Incorporates Google Sat Imagery</a>
</div><p><div class="blogdisclaim"><a href="http://elderlurker.blogspot.com/2006/02/will-someone-please-answer-fon.html">This post originally appeared on an external website</a></div>

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