1) did you verify the file version from the MS article?
http://support.microsoft.com/default.aspx?scid=kb;en-us;Q301401
File name Version
Exps.dll 6.0.5683.00
2) underscore is NOT part of a *VALID* FQDN. How the server chooses to handle this is anyone's guess.
""
and from that article above:
Inside the Exchange organization, virtual servers with an FQDN that is not valid or a name that is not an FQDN may not be able to receive mail correctly. This is the case both before and after you apply this fix.
So.. drop that _ asap! If you want to distinguish it, use a - instead.
Also note, that Exchange to Exchange mail is *NOT* handled 100% to RFC spec's for SMTP! So again.. anything odd could happen.
3) did anything show up in the error log of the exchange server?
4) have you tried to manually create SMTP mail FROM the server by telnetting to the destination?
example:
telnet some.host.mail.server 25
this opensa telnet window but to port 25 (smtp) on "some.host.mail.server"
do this FROM the mail server, and the "some.host..." should be the SMTP server that the mail that's failing is going to.
If you can manually enter mail by telneting to the destination FROM your mail server, then you know the problem *IS* your mail server.. and you may need serious exchange help.
5) related to 4 .. have you checked that you're not on an ORBS list or some such and that mail from your server is being denied/rejected?