Just a little Friday afternoon grin.
MEDICINE
“The long term implications of drugs/
procedures must be fully considered:
“Because over the past few years, more
money has been spent on breast implants
and Viagra than is spent on Alzheimer’s
Disease research, it is believed that
by the year 2030 there will be a large
number of people wandering around with
huge breasts and erections who can’t
remember what to do with them”…
Here’s some more new drugs that may
soon be on the market..
St. Mom’s Wort … Plant extract that
treats mom’s depression by rendering
preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours.
Empty Nestrogen … Highly effective
suppository that eliminates melancholy
by enhancing the memory of how awful they
were as teenagers and how you couldn’t wait
til they moved out.
Peptobimbo … Liquid silicone for single
women. Two full cups swallowed before an
evening out increases breast size, decreases
intelligence, and improves flirting.
Dumerol … When taken with Peptobimbo,
can cause dangerously low I.Q. causing
enjoyment of country western music and
WWF wrestling.
Flipitor .. Increases life expectancy of
commuters by controlling road rage and the
urge to flip off other drivers.
Antiboyotics … When administered to teenage
girls is highly effective in improving grades,
freeing up phone lines, and reducing money
spent on make-up.
Menicillin … Potent antibiotic for older
women. Increases resistance to such lines as,
“You make me want to be a better person …
can we get naked now?”
Buyagra … Injectable stimulant taken prior
to shopping. Increases potency and duration
of spending spree.
Extra Strength Buy-one-all … When combined
with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminant
buying frenzy so severe the victim may even
come home with a Donnie Osmond CD or a book
by Dr. Laura.
Jack Asspirin … Relieves the headache caused
by a man who can’t remember your birthday,
anniversary or phone number.
Anti-talksident … A spray carried in a
purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager
to share their life stories with total strangers.
Sexcedrin … Bedroom aerosol spray for
men. More effective than Excedrin in treating
the, “Not now, dear, I have a headache,” syndrome.
Ragamet … When administered to a husband,
provides the same irritation as ragging on
him all weekend, saving the wife the time
and trouble of doing it herself.
Men-Gay … A rub-in ointment that enables
single women to identify who to cross off
the dating pool.
Have a good weekend everyone,
OM
