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Friday Yuk 2.0

By .Martin. ·
Tags: Off Topic
starting all your Fridays (ending mine) off the old way. lets see how we go.

I will start with these:

A soccer ball walks into a bar,
the bartender kicked him out.

A bear, giraffe, and elephant walk into a bar.
the bartender says "what is this, some kind of joke?"


Have a good Friday!
A man goes to the doctor complaining that he can't get the song she's a lady out of his head.
the doctor tells him "I'm sorry, you have Tom Jones-itis"
Patient: "is that common?"
doctor: "It's not Unusual."

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Business names you aren't really sure about

by NickNielsen In reply to Friday Yuk 2.0

Some of these businesses actually exist. Others don't

Readit & Weep, Assessors

Fake Insurance Agency

Chancy Discount Drugs

Chancy's Wrecker Service (yes, they're related! )

Li, Cheatham, and Steele, Accountants

Fake, Muddle, and Swindell, Attorneys at Law

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That reminds me of

by Michael Jay In reply to Business names you aren't ...

the late great Johnny Carson's favorite law firm, Dewey Cheatham and Howe.

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I'd forgotten about them

by NickNielsen In reply to That reminds me of

but it reminds me again of the serendipitous collision of businesses at 69 Beaver Street in Albany, NY, during the late 60s and early 70s: Barber shop downstairs, dentist upstairs. :0

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Rabbit hole

by santeewelding In reply to Business names you aren't ...

Got me to thinking about the old, weathered face of a building in Scituate where I grew up in the 40s and 50s. The name, barely legible: Ye Old Oar House.

Punched it into Google, and got transported:

http://familytreemaker.genealogy.com/users/m/c/h/James-P-Mchugh/GENE5-0005.html

A gallon of rum, a pound of tobacco, and three shots fired in succession.

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Old Sea Story

by Michael Jay In reply to Friday Yuk 2.0

There's an old sea story about a ship's Captain who inspected his sailors, and afterward told the first mate that his men smelled bad.

The Captain suggested perhaps it would help if the sailors would change underwear occasionally.

The first mate responded, "Aye, aye sir, I'll see to it immediately!"

The first mate went straight to the sailors berth deck and announced, "The Captain thinks you guys smell bad and wants you to change your underwear." He continued, "Pittman, you change with Jones, McCarthy, you change with Witkowski, and Brown, you change with Schultz."

THE MORAL OF THE STORY:

Someone may come along and promise "Change", but don't count on things smelling any better.

SECOND MORAL

November is almost here.

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My offering this week

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to Friday Yuk 2.0

A sweet grandmother telephoned St Joseph's Hospital. She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?"

The operator said, "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number of the patient?"

The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, "Norma Findlay, Room
302."

The operator replied, "Let me put you on hold while I check with the nurse's station for that room."

After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said, "I have good news. Her nurse just told me that Norma is doing well. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back normal and her physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged tomorrow."

The grandmother said, "Thank you. That's wonderful. I was so worried. God bless you for the good news."

the operator replied, "You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?"The grandmother said, "No, I'm Norma Findlay in Room 302 No one tells me ****."

TRUE STORy

Just goes to show how good the Medical System is. :^0

Col

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Cash for Clunkers

by RFink In reply to Friday Yuk 2.0

It's only benefit was to get 90% of the Obama bumper stickets off the road.

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