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Friday Yuk

By Shellbot ·
Tags: Off Topic
ok folks..i can't find one yet, so i'll start one then!!

I thought This was cute:

Sign Language

Dear Father,
$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply ?an`t think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love,
Your $on.

After receiving His son`s letter, the father immediately replies by sending a letter back.

Dear Son,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love Dad

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Old and cheap :)

by Shellbot In reply to Friday Yuk

A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each had half of them. Then he poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and set that in front of his wife. The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap.

The young man decided to ask if they would allow him to purchase another meal for them so that they didn't have to split theirs.

The old gentleman said, "Oh no. We've been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared, 50/50."

The young man then asked the wife if she was going to eat, and she replied, "It's his turn with the teeth"

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yet another

by Shellbot In reply to Friday Yuk

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad,
how many kinds of b00bies are there?
The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there's three kinds of breasts.
In her twenties, a women's breasts are like melons, round and firm.
In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.
After fifty, they are like onions."
"Onions?"
"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."

This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum,
how many kinds of 'willies' are there?"
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man also goes through three phases.
In his twenties, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard.
In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible but reliable.
After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."

"A Christmas tree?"

"Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only."


Happy Weekend everyone :)

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:) nice one Shellbot :)

by rob mekel In reply to yet another

How wicked can woman get

-------------
A couple was getting married, and it was only three days before the wedding. The bride calls her mother with some bad news. "Mom," she says, "I just found out that my fiance's mother has bought the exact same dress as you to wear to the wedding." The bride's mother thinks for a minute. "Don't worry," she tells her daughter. "I'll just go and buy another dress to wear to the ceremony." "But mother," says the bride, "that dress cost a fortune. What will you do with it? It's such a waste not to use it." "Who said I won't use it?" her mother asked. "I'll just wear it to the rehearsal dinner."
-------------

Have a great weekend all :)
Rob

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thats ...

by Shellbot In reply to :) nice one Shellbot :)

pure evil!!

:)

You keeping well? Good xmas and all that?

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Boy am I glad ...

by rob mekel In reply to thats ...

not being one of the girl-gang


Had some great day's with friends near Albufeira, Portugal. Went over 3rd Christmasday and stayed for a week.

Made some real nice coastal walks and around Silves (an ancient town 25 km of Albufeira land inwards)
Had some very nice beachparties. Special at New Years eve it was a real nice party. Had a real great dinner at a coastal hotel with view on the ocean and along the beach towards Albufeira, before the beach-party started off.
It was real fun :)

Hope your Xmas and NYF were great to

Rob

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Enjoy your Steak at

by NOW LEFT TR In reply to Boy am I glad ...

sizzling stone did you?

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Did enjoy a lot :)

by rob mekel In reply to Enjoy your Steak at

but wasn't aware it was a Steak at a sizzling stone. alltho ... I ?heard? some nice ?sizzling? noises. Special later on on the beach :8} :0

The place we had dinner was "Vila Joya" a great hotel/restaurant :)

Rob

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son to father

by heml0ck In reply to yet another

"Dad, how much does it cost to get married?"
"I dunno son," replies the dad.
"I'm still paying!"


Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries.
Father: That happens everywhere, son, everywhere!

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So True

by Dontknowwhatimdoing In reply to son to father
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yep

by heml0ck In reply to So True

Still paying for telling that joke where my wife could hear it!

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