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Friday Yuk !!

By stargazerr ·
Tags: Off Topic
What happened to the Australians ? No Friday Yuk yet ? Its almost lunch time in the UK

Doctor Dave had slept with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't.

The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while he'd hear an internal, reassuring voice that said:

"Dave, don't worry about it. You aren't the first doctor to sleep with one of their patients and you won't be the last and you're single. Just let it go..."

But invariably the other voice would bring him back to reality, whispering:

"Dave, you're a vet..."

]:)

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keeping with animal theme:

by Shellbot In reply to Friday Yuk !!

This cat catches a mouse and sticks a jar over him.

The mouse is there "lets us out man,im gasping,I promise I won't run away"

Cat says feck this and throws another jar over him

Mouse is really gasping now" lets us out man,im gasping,I promise I won't run away"

Cat says feck this and throws yet another jar over the mouse

Mouse is really snookered now "lets us out man,im gasping,I promise I won't run away,I promise ya"

Cat says"now you promise you won't run away"

Mouse "ye man,let us out,im snookered"

Cat lets him out and with that the mouse legs it back into his hole

The cat is fuming runs over and says"you promised dude"

Mouse says ????????? .

ah sur Id say anything with a few jars on me.

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Heya Shell !!!

by stargazerr In reply to keeping with animal theme ...

Where have you been ??? Or rather ... where have I been ... hehehe. Howz life?

]:)

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hey star :)

by Shellbot In reply to Heya Shell !!!

I been around..lurking in the shadows.

Wasn't around for a bit..things weren't so great..but i've pulled myself up out of the muck and am getting on with my life..so i'm not so bad.

Yes..where have you been???
It all good?

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oh yeah, you should have seen me

by stargazerr In reply to hey star :)

I have actually been working !!!!

hehehe ... Now projects kept me busy .. I am a bit free er now (If thats a word) and am going to be hanging around ol' TR more now ...

Its grrrreeat to be back .. !!

]:)

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Wedding Day Bliss

by DMambo In reply to Friday Yuk !!

Note: Purity filter in the shop for repair at the time of this posting.


A groom passes down the aisle of the church to take his place by the altar and the best man notices that the groom has the biggest, brightest smile on his face.

The best man says, "Hey man, I know you are happy to be getting married, but what's up - you look so excited."

The groom replies, "I just had the best **** job I have ever had in my entire life and I am marrying the wonderful woman who gave it to me."

The bride comes walking down the aisle and she, too, has the biggest, brightest smile on her face.

The maid of honor notices this and says, "Hey, girlfriend, I know you are happy to be getting married, but what's up, you look so excited."

The bride replies "I have just given the last **** job of my entire life."

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So DM I take it that your

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to Wedding Day Bliss

Purity Filter is now well beyond repair and is not replaceable because it fails to run on Windows XP SP2.

I told you that if you kept pushing that envelope you would break it beyond repair and now that you have what are you going to attempt to do now to maintain an air of Purity? :^0

Well no matter early next year when you get your new hardware to run your new Vista OS and Software it wouldn't have worked anyway and since there was only 1 buyer worldwide for it the makers have withdrawn every single copy from the market to prevent any repetitions of questions like How's your M$ Bob this Week? I understand that they have crushed every copy and then feed the remains into a Blast Furnace to destroy all the evidence that they ever produced such a silly application. You Obviously failed to take notice of the Product Recall that they issued for that one copy that was sold. I must warn you however that the company involved is looking hard for that single remaining copy so that they can destroy it and remove any trace of their folly from the world. You obviously didn't register it either or they would have found it a long time ago.

Better get used to the Life in the Gutter with the Rest Of us having all the Fun!

Col ]:)

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DM ???

by stargazerr In reply to Wedding Day Bliss

Even if ur purity filter is in the shop .. you should have acquired enough purity tendencies by now, so that you can keep from making posts of this nature !!!

Still taking a peek into the gutter and coming up with lame excuses ?

]:)

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No Star DM sitting in the bottom of the Gutter

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to DM ???

And refusing to come up for air and is still trying to act All Pure! :^0

The gutter that I'm thinking of where about 6 feet wide and at least 8 feet deep and when it did rain they still overflowed. Now can you see why DM is having such a good time but refusing to allow himself to believe he's anything but the purest Alter Boy. when it should actually read Altered Boy.

Col ]:)

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an oldie..

by Shellbot In reply to Friday Yuk !!

but still funny

Smart Thinking
A man in the Florida supermarket tries to buy half a head of lettuce.

The very young produce assistant tells him that they sell only whole heads of lettuce. The man persists and asks to see the manager. The boy says he'll ask his manager about it.

Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, "Some @sshole wants to buy half a head of lettuce."

As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standingright behind him, so he added, "And this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half."

The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way.

Later the manager said to the boy, "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?"

"Canada, sir," the boy replied.

"Well, why did you leave Canada?" the manager asked.

The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but whores and hockey players up there."

"Really?" said the manager. "My wife is from Canada."

"No sh*t?" replied the boy. "Who'd she play for?"

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Irish Tee

by jdclyde In reply to Friday Yuk !!

Taking a wee break from the golf circuit, Tiger Woods drove his new Ford Excursion into an Irish gas station.

An attendant greeted him in typical Irish manner, unaware who the golf pro was. "Top of the mornin' to ya!" the Irishman smiled, doffing his Cap.

As Tiger got out of the mammoth vehicle, two tees fell out of his pocket. "So what are those, lad?" asked the attendant.

"They're called tees," replied Tiger.

"And what would ya be usin' 'em for, now?"
inquired the Irishman.

"Well, they're for resting my balls on when I drive," said Tiger.

"AW! Jaysus, Mary an' Joseph," exclaimed the Irish attendant. "Those fellas at FORD think of everything.!"

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