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Friday Yuk

By DMambo ·
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Apologies in advance for the supreme badness of these riddles :)


Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music?
A: Wrap.

Q: Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
A: Because demons are a ghoul's best friend.

Q: What kind of beans do monsters like to eat?
A: Human beans.

Q: Why can't the boy ghost have babies?
A: Because he has a hollow weenie.

Q: What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?
A: A sand-witch.

Q: Where does the ghost go on a Saturday night?
A: Anywhere he can boo-gie down.

Q: What did the skeleton say to the vampire?
A: "You suck."

Q: What do ghosts say when something is really neat?
A: Ghoul!

Q: Why did the ghost go to the bar?
A: For the boos.

Q: Why did the game warden arrest the ghoost?
A: He didn't have a haunting license.

Q: Why didn't the skeleton dance at the party?
A: He had no body to dance with.

Q: Where does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch?
A: At the casketeria.

Q: What happens when a ghost gets lost in a fog?
A: He is mist.

Q: Where did the goblin throw the football?
A: Over the ghoul line.

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THE 5 ANSWERS WE HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR:

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to Friday Yuk

Q: WHAT ARE THE SMALL BUMPS AROUND A WOMAN'S NIPPLES FOR?
A: It's Braille for "suck here".

Q: WHAT IS AN AUSTRALIAN KISS?
A: It's the same as a French kiss, but only "down under."

Q: WHAT DO YOU DO WITH 365 USED CONDOMS?
A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.

Q: WHY ARE HURRICANES NORMALLY NAMED AFTER WOMEN?
A: Because when they come, they're wild and wet. But when they go, they take your house and car with them.

Q: WHY DO GIRLS RUB THEIR EYES WHEN THEY GET UP IN THE MORNING?
A: Because they don't have any balls to scratch.

Have a great week end everyone I'm going to continue to develop plans on torturing MS Staff who insist that it's better to waste 2 days to fix a problem than a reload can do in 1 hour.

Apparently we all have nothing better to do than sit waiting on Hold for their Pearls of Wisdom like that's not a WGA Issue so I'm going to have to start off a New Case Number.

Col ]:)


Become a MS Terrorist today and fly your favorite brand of Linux or BSD into Redmond's front door.! :^0

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I'm there

by NeverBusted In reply to THE 5 ANSWERS WE HAVE ALL ...

BSD Bomb's all the way!

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WARNING: This guy is not the real NeverBusted

by TechExec2 In reply to I'm there

The real NeverBusted is here:

http://techrepublic.com.com/5213-6257-0.html?id=4304353&redirectTo=%2f1320-22-20.html

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No you are not loser

by jdclyde In reply to I'm there

Get your own ID.

You will not get accepted into the crowd by pretending to be someone else.

I know NB, and you are no NB.

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get off it

by heml0ck In reply to I'm there

How very original to try and steal someone else's online identity.
Get off it and get your own.

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To make its own on line identity

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to get off it

It needs to be a leader not a follower so it's far easier to attempt to grab someone's else indentity than it is to create your own one. After all when this Git went to school and got all those Certificates that part wasn't in the Curriculum was it?

Col ]:)

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Hey Col, did you hear about the MS tech who knew what he was doing?

by Deadly Ernest In reply to THE 5 ANSWERS WE HAVE ALL ...

Neither did anyone else.

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Ernest I can not disagree there

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to Hey Col, did you hear abo ...
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a blonde goes ice fishing

by heml0ck In reply to Friday Yuk

A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. He'd seen many books on the subject, and finally, after getting all the necessary "tools" together, he made for the nearest frozen lake. After positioning his comfy footstool, he started to make a circular cut in the ice.

Suddenly---from the sky---a voice boomed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"

Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a Thermos of cappuccino,and began to cut yet another hole.

Again, from the heavens, the voice bellowed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"

The Blonde, now quite worried, moved way down to the opposite end of the ice, set up his stool, and tried again to cut his hole.

The voice came once more. "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"

He stopped, looked skyward, and said, "Is that you, Lord?"

The voice replied, "NO, THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE ICE RINK."

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two buddies

by heml0ck In reply to Friday Yuk

Two buddies, Bob and Earl, were among the biggest baseball fans in America. Their entire adult lives, Bob and Earl discussed baseball history in the winter, and they pored over every box score during the season. They went to sixty games a year. They even agreed that whoever died first would try to come back and tell the other if there was
baseball in heaven.

One summer night, Bob passed away in his sleep after watching the Yankee victory earlier in the evening. He died happy.

A few nights later, his buddy Earl awoke to the sound of Bob's voice from beyond.

"Bob is that you?" Earl asked.

"Of course it's me," Bob replied.

"This is unbelievable!" Earl exclaimed. "So tell me, is there baseball in heaven?"

"Well I have some good news and some bad news for you. Which do you want to hear first?"

"Tell me the good news first."

"Well, the good news is that yes, there is baseball in heaven, Earl."

"Oh, that is wonderful! So what could possibly be the bad news?"

"You're pitching tomorrow night."

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