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Friday Yuk - an early start but the girls will approve - this time. :^0

By sleepin'dawg ·
Tags: Off Topic
Women's revenge

1. What do you call a handcuffed man? Trustworthy.

2. What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath
and calling your name? You didn't hold the pillow down long
enough.

3. Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? Because if they all
went, it would be ****.

4. Why do men like smart women? Opposites attract.

5. How are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get
started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't
work.

6. How do men define a "50/50" relationship? We cook-they eat; we
clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.

7. How do men exercise on the beach? By sucking in their stomachs
every time they see a bikini.

8. How do you get a man to stop biting his nails? Make him wear
shoes.

9. How does a man show he's planning for the future? He buys two
cases of beer instead of one.

10. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? ONE He
just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around
him.

11. What did God say after creating man? I can do so much better.

12. What's a man's idea of honesty in a relationship? Telling you
his real name.

13. What's the best way to force a man to do sit ups? Put the
remote control between his toes.

14. What's the smartest thing a man can say? "My wife says..."

15. Why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners? So men can
understand them.

16. Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after
mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.

17. Why do jocks play on artificial turf? To keep them from
grazing.

18. Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
Because not one will stop and ask for directions.

19. Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women?
When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.

This conversation is currently closed to new comments.

172 total posts (Page 1 of 18)   01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05   Next
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BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

by The Scummy One In reply to Friday Yuk - an early sta ...
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I don't know

by Tig2 In reply to BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! ...

I liked it. I'll send Soni the link to it and see what she thinks.

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Thanks for the chuckle!

by Sonja Thompson Staff In reply to I don't know

I'm OOO tomorrow, so I'm glad I got to see this Friday Yuk on Thursday. :)

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Nice!

by LarryD4 In reply to Friday Yuk - an early sta ...

Made me laugh

Have one for ya..

When "INSERT YOUR GOD HERE" made man why was the crack in our butt up and down and not left to right?


Because if we slid down a banister we would go,

pppppppppppppppppppp

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A twist on that one

by Oz_Media In reply to Nice!

I heard that in school except it was why aren't Chinese girls allowed to slide down the bannisters at school?

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP


Racist and rude but still, woah eh?

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on an Asian theme

by Tink! In reply to A twist on that one

Why It's Important To Understand English

I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange, so I went to the currency exchange window at the local bank.

Short line.......

Just one lady in front of me . . an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars and she was a little irritated . . .
She asked the teller, "Why it change??Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I get hunat eighty?? Why it change?"

The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations"

The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people, too".

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Niiiice one

by Oz_Media In reply to on an Asian theme

I spend a lot of time in Richmond, BC, Asians are the majority population(not an exaggeration, an actual fact over 61%)due to a nutty PM who opened the flood gates in the 90's. So there's a whole lot of old town people that appreciate such jokes.

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ROFL

by LarryD4 In reply to on an Asian theme

I gotta send that to someone!

2 Funny

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Gotta remember that one.

by CaptBilly1Eye In reply to on an Asian theme

Reminds me of the Ed Zachary disease story.
:)

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But, but,...

by santeewelding In reply to Friday Yuk - an early sta ...

Nope. Couldn't find one to rebut.

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