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Friday Yuk - Close enough to Friday for me....

By boxfiddler Moderator ·
Tags: Off Topic
Stumbled into this. Cracked me up.
Look out Louisville, here we come?

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'S okay, it's gotta be Friday in the west Pacific by now. No text.

by CharlieSpencer In reply to Friday Yuk - Close enough ...
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What sounds do farm animals make??? :^0

by sleepin'dawg In reply to Friday Yuk - Close enough ...

A primary school teacher in the Bronx decided to see if city kids
knew what sounds farm animals made. She asked the kids to put
their hands up if they knew the correct sounds.

"Who knows what sound a cow makes?" she asked.

Mary put her hand up and said, "Mooooo!"

"Very good," replied the teacher. "What sound do sheep make?"

"Baaaa," answered Billy.

She continued this for a while. Then she asked, "What sound does
a pig make?"

All the hands in the class went up. She was surprised at the
response. She chose Little Tyrone at the back of the class. He
stood up, took a deep breath, and screamed,

"Up against the wall, mutha-phuckas!"

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Okay, its not that funny but maybe it will inspire you

by JamesRL In reply to Friday Yuk - Close enough ...

Every morning I hear this commercial.

A 65 year old man goes into see his doctor for a thorough physical.

A week later the doctor sees the man with a hot young thing on his arm and says: "Say it looks like you are doing pretty well for yourself,"

The man replies, "I'm just doing what you told me doc, "Get a hot mama and be cheerful"".

The Doc replies "Not, that isnt' what I said, I said "You have a heart murmur, be careful."

The commercial, if you haven't guessed, is for a company that does hearing tests.


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by Jellimonsta In reply to Okay, its not that funny ...

I have heard it before, but I still like it! :)

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Drug complications

by sleepin'dawg In reply to Friday Yuk - Close enough ...

The Journal of The American Medical Association says that a
third of all drug complications in hospitals are due to errors.
The other two thirds were intentional, or recreational

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by Jellimonsta In reply to Friday Yuk - Close enough ...

From Grandma:

The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a 'Honk if you love Jesus' bumper sticker.

I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting, so I bought the sticker and put in on my bumper.

I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is and I didn't notice that the light had changed.

It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed.

I found that LOTS of people love Jesus. Why, while I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and when he leaned out of his window and screamed, "for the love of God, GO! GO!" What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus.

Everyone started honking! I just leaned out of my window and started waving and smiling at all these loving people.

I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love. There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach...

I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. When I asked my teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant, he said that it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.

Well, I've never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back.

My grandson burst out laughing, why even he was enjoying this religious experience.

A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me.

I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed.

I noticed I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and I felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared, so I slowed the car down, leaned out of the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away.

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Awesome Senior

by Michael Jay In reply to Honk

Here's a quote from a government employee who witnessed a recent inter-action between an elderly woman and an antiwar protester in a D.C. airport. There were protesters on the train platform handing out pamphlets, on the evils of America .. I politely declined to take one.

The elderly woman was behind me getting off the escalator and a young (20-ish) female protester offered her a pamphlet, which she politely declined. The young protester put her hand on the old woman's shoulder as a gesture of friendship and in a very soft voice the young lady said, "Lady, don't you care about the children of Iraq?"

The old woman looked up at her and said, "Honey, my father died in France during World War II, I lost my husband in Korea , and a son in Vietnam . All three died so a ***** like you could have the right to stand here and badmouth our country. If you touch me again, I'll stick this umbrella up your *** and open it."

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go granny go

by Deadly Ernest In reply to Awesome Senior

great response.

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Only one way to describe that

by Deadly Ernest In reply to Honk

Bloody brilliant.

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Cruising down the river.

by sleepin'dawg In reply to Friday Yuk - Close enough ...

Paddy the Irishman saw a newspaper ad for a $10 river cruise. So
he went out to the dock, where he saw a guy with a baseball bat
and a coil of rope.

"I'm here for the river cruise", Paddy said, handing him the ten

The guy took the money then smacked Paddy over the head with the

Next thing Paddy knew, he was floating down the river tied to a

Just then he spotted his brother Mick, who was also tied to a log
and floating downstream.

"Hey, Mick!" Paddy yelled. "Do they serve meals on this trip?"

"They didn't last year!" Mick yelled back.

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