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Friday Yuk: Interview tips

By lindamarie ·
IT jobs seem to be the most shaky these days. Here are a few things you should avoid doing during interviews:

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Can't remeber if i posted these

by Shellbot In reply to Friday Yuk: Interview ti ...

May have posted these a few weeks ago..if so, sorry!!

An attractive blonde from Dublin arrived at the casino and bet
twenty-thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice.
She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm
completely nude".
With that, she stripped down, rolled the dice and yelled,
"Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"
As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed..
She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her
clothes and quickly departed. The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded.
Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"
The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching."
Not all Irish are stupid and not all blondes are dumb, but all men, are men.

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In Dublin

by Shellbot In reply to Can't remeber if i posted ...

John Bradford, a Dublin University student, was on the side of the road
hitchhiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a big storm.

The night was rolling on and no car went by. The storm was so strong he
could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly, he saw a car slowly
coming towards him and stopped. John, desperate for shelter and without
thinking about it, got into the car and closed the door.. only to
realise there was nobody behind the wheel and the engine wasn't on!!

The car started moving slowly. John looked at the road ahead and saw a
curve approaching. Scared, he started to pray, begging for his life.
Then, just before the car hit the curve, a hand appeared through the
window and turned the wheel. John, paralysed with terror, watched as the
hand repeatedly came through the window, but never touched or harmed

Shortly thereafter John saw the lights of a pub appear down the road,
so, gathering strength, he jumped out of the car and ran to it. Wet and
out of breath, he rushed inside and started telling everybody about the
horrible experience he had just had.

A silence enveloped the pub when everybody realised he was crying
and....wasn't drunk.

Suddenly, the door opened, and two other people walked in from the
stormy night. They, like John, were also soaked and out of breath.

Looking around, and seeing John Bradford sobbing at the bar, one said to
the other......................................

'Look Paddy.....there's that f*cking idiot that got in the car while we
were pushing it!!!!'

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Even if you did...

by daveo2000 In reply to In Dublin

I'm glad you told it. With minor changes, I can even tell my kids.

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OH the voice of Experience Shelly

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to Can't remeber if i posted ...

Just how often do you pull that stunt?

Col ]:)

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by Shellbot In reply to OH the voice of Experienc ...

once in a while..don't want to be greedy like!

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I see been caught have we. :^0 :^0

by OH Smeg Moderator In reply to only

It must be embarrassing being dragged naked to the Police Station for attempting to Swindle yet another Casino.

Women never learn do they?

Col ]:)

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Not hugely

by Shellbot In reply to I see been caught have we ...

..female bits don't shrivel when they're cold!!

oh, JD called you a vagitarian....
you gonna stand for that?

<tee hee>

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OH Really!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to Not hugely

I've been told by someone who I believe that the Female Bits are adversely affected by Gravity! And that is from a very young age and only gets worse as times goes on.

Apparently the Female Bits never look quite right when Unsupported or Air Brushed so other females criticise them. :^0

Only what I've been told by someone in the fashion industry and I don't even think that they have a Real Job. After all they are just sewing a couple pieces of rag together and then selling it to Females at an Exorbitant Price. It's worse if they make shoes that mangle the feet and are impossible to wear.

Nothing but appealing to Females Vanity so it isn't even a Real Job!

Col ]:)

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Bad Day for Unix?

by Shellbot In reply to Friday Yuk: Interview ti ...

Bad Day for Unix?

A lady in the next seat, struck up a conversation with my friend Mick when he was flying across America.

Lady: 'And where are you going?'

Mick: 'I'm going to San Francisco to a UNIX convention.'

Lady: 'Eunuchs convention? I didn't know there were that many of you.'

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Tech Support

by Shellbot In reply to Bad Day for Unix?

Customer: My family in Australia use BT Softphone, I can see them but they can't see me.
Advisor: What brand is your webcam?
Customer: What's a webcam?


Customer: 'All my files I saved last week to my C: drive are missing!'
Tech Support: 'Do you remember what directory you first saved them in?'

Customer: 'No, I don't . I just know it was on my C: drive.'
Tech Support: 'Ok, I'll walk you through how to find the files.'

Customer: 'I wouldn't think I would be losing files on this computer. Gee, I just had the hard drive replaced in it yesterday.


Customer: My iPod will only play one song.
Advisor: Which other tracks have you downloaded from iTunes?
Customer: Do I need to download tracks?

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