After Hours

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Friday Yuk March 25, 2011

By Jaqui ·
Tags: Off Topic
A three-year-old boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath. "Mom" he asked, "are these my brains?"

"Not yet," she replied.

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sure, ignore it.

by Jaqui In reply to Friday Yuk March 25, 2011

it's the Friday Yuk, with no tags since there ain't no way to tag discussions with new design.

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by boxfiddler Moderator In reply to sure, ignore it.
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by Jaqui In reply to Sad,
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Charlie Sheen vs Obama

by puppybreath In reply to Friday Yuk March 25, 2011

If we have to have a clown in the White House Lets get Charlie Sheen. He has HUGE advantages over Obama.

1. More qualified and experienced to hold the office. (He watched reruns of his father playing the president in West Wing).
2. More military experience, (he starred in Platoon, Cadence, and Navy Seals).
3. More knowledgeable about the economy, (he starred in Wall Street).
4. Is not a communist or socialist, (he was in Red Dawn).
5. More likely to defend our boarders, (again Red Dawn)
6. Is pro second amendment, (Starred in Young Guns).
7. Is pro law enforcement, (Costarred in the Rookie)
8. Could host far more memorable state dinner parties, (see arrest record).
9. Could actually get a ball across home plate at the start of the baseball season. (stared in Eight Men Out and Major League).
10. Knows the middle east better, (see Hot Shots part Deux)
11. More decisive and has a high energy level.
12. Comparatively more sane.
13. Much more honest.
14. Much more intelligent.
15. Much less arrogant.
16. Has two first ladies, who are much better looking, better mannered, and more experienced in front of the camera.
17. Is all about WIN.
18. While a little sketchy, looks much more Presidential.
19. While a little sketchy, spends money far more sensibly.
20. Unfortunately, both Charlie and the incumbent have a history of drug use. But Charlie just passed a drug test.
21. Surrounds himself with a much better class of people.
22. Is honest about his religious beliefs.
23. Lets it all hang out and is open with people; no hidden agenda.
24. Is more consistent.
25. Looks much more ???together??? and less haggard than the incumbent.
26. While less experienced with a teleprompter, he is still pretty good.
27. Better ratings.
28. Enjoys a better relationship with Israel and the Jewish community.
29. Was raised in America and was not influenced by third world socialists in his formative years, (just the ones in Hollywood).
30. Has Tiger blood.
31. Admits he is from Mars. The incumbent refuses to say.
32. Does not play Golf??????constantly.
33. Not as uptight and a little less inhibited.
34. More fun to work with. While not in Ted Kennedy???s league, Charlie could put the PARTY back in the Democratic Party.
35. Could bring stability to the party by counterbalancing the real wackos like Pelosi and Reed.
36. Has never been associated with Reverend Wright.
37. Has never been associated with Rahm Emanuel.
38. Has never, (as far as Bill knows), been associated with Hillary Clinton.
39. Jessie Jackson has never wanted to emasculate Charlie.
40. Is much more experienced with Stimulus and stimulation than the incumbent.
41. Is welcome in, and is good for the economy of, Las Vegas.
42. Is a legitimate American citizen and is willing to prove it.
43. Has no experience with Chicago politics.
44. Has never been a Community Organizer.
45. Has never blamed a single one of his many problems on President Bush.
46. Buys affection with HIS OWN MONEY.
47. Takes way better care of his brother.
48. Has a long history of exhibiting far better judgment.
49. Much warmer personality.
50. Denise Richards doesn???t care what you eat.
51. Spends less on stimulation and uses HIS OWN MONEY when he does.
52. Is honest about his smoking habit.
53. Has never snubbed a long time ally.
54. Has never bowed to a foreign despot.
55. Has never advocated ???death panels??? in health care.
56. Would never consider Hoof-in-mouth-Joe Biden as a running mate. (Lindsey Lohan, maybe)
57. Likes rich people.
58. Thinks ACORN is just nuts.
59. Will take his shirt off at the beach and be photographed.
60. Likes hot cars and has never banned off shore drilling.
61. Has never voted ???present???
62. Has fewer delusions, (although possibly more hallucinations).
63. Does not ignore questions at press conferences.
64. Is truthful about why he goes to Rio.

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Defending the boarders...

by AnsuGisalas In reply to Charlie Sheen vs Obama

remind me, "boarders", isn't that code-speak for the "illegal immigrants" working the sweat shops to keep the economy (sorta) working?

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You have sweatshops in Finland?

by puppybreath In reply to Defending the boarders...

I don't care if it does help your economy (sorta). You should close them down. ;-)

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No sweat...

by AnsuGisalas In reply to You have sweatshops in Fi ...
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But, everyone knows....

by puppybreath In reply to No sweat...

that sweatshops are all overseas. We Americans only use illegals for housekeeping, produce farms, and landscaping. ;-)

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And like modern neocons

by seanferd In reply to Charlie Sheen vs Obama

isn't very well connected with reality. Perfect fit!

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by puppybreath In reply to And like modern neocons

I thought this was the Friday Yuk thread. You apparently think it's a political thread. Or is it un-PC to include Obama in any post that his supporters deem offensive? Lighten up a little. You'll feel better.

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