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Friday Yuk - Special Gift

By The Ref ·
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Mark, a loving husband, was in trouble. He forgot his wedding Anniversary and his wife was really ticked off at him.

She told him, "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in under 6 seconds, AND IT BETTER BE THERE."


The next morning, Mark got up really early before work.

When his wife woke up a couple of hours later, she looked out
the window, And sure enough, there was a small gift-wrapped box sitting in the Middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe, ran out to the driveway, and took the box into the house.

She opened it, and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Mark is not yet well enough to have visitors.

Edited to includeFriday Yuk in the title.

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Mark is one tough cookie to be in hospital and not the morgue

by Deadly Ernest In reply to Friday Yuk - Special Gift

he should have got a jewellers scale and included a ring weighing more than 200 grams.

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Wedding gifts

by rob mekel In reply to Friday Yuk - Special Gift

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in. Jacob addresses the man behind the counter:
'Are you the owner?' The pharmacist answers yes.
Says Jacob: 'We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?'
Pharmacist: 'Of course we do.'
Jacob: 'How about medicine for circulation?'
Pharmacist: 'All kinds.'
Jacob: 'Medicine for rheumatism, scoliosis? '
Pharmacist: 'Definitely.'
Jacob: 'How about Viagra?'
Pharmacist: 'Of course.'
Jacob: 'Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?'
Pharmacist: 'Yes, a large variety. The works.'
Jacob: 'What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?'
Pharmacist: 'Absolutely.'
Jacob: 'You sell wheelchairs and walkers?'
Pharmacist: 'All speeds and sizes.'
Jacob says to the pharmacist: 'We'd like to register here for our wedding gifts, please.'


Have fun all and a good weekend :)
Rob

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Qualities needed :)

by rob mekel In reply to Wedding gifts

On their 50th wedding anniversary and during the banquet celebrating it, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration. "Tell us Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?" Tom responds, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, meekness, forbearance, self-restraint, forgiveness -- and a great many other qualities you wouldn't have needed if you'd stayed single."

Rob

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an other perspective

by rob mekel In reply to Qualities needed :)

The child was a typical four-year-old girl - cute, inquisitive, and bright as a new penny. When she expressed difficulty in grasping the concept of marriage, her father decided to pull out his wedding photo album, thinking visual images would help. One page after another, he pointed out the bride arriving at the church, the entrance, the wedding ceremony, the recessional, the reception, etc. "Now do you understand?" he asked. "I think so," she said. "That was when mommy came to work for us?"

Rob

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One to remember :)

by rob mekel In reply to an other perspective :D

Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God says: "So you would love her."
"But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you."

Rob

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What's the downside of being the king in an absolute monarchy?

by Deadly Ernest In reply to Friday Yuk - Special Gift

Everybody knows who to blame when things go wrong.

The greatest benefit of being a politician in a democracy is having all those other elected officials to share the blame with, or on.

edited to fix obvious typo.

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The buck stops...

by TonytheTiger In reply to What's the downside of be ...

at the government employee who doesn't have anyone to blame it on.

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