WARNING – this is long
One day a bus hit a successful executive woman and she died. Her soul arrived at Heaven’s Pearly Gates, where the soul was met by St. Peter.
“Welcome to Heaven,” he said. “Before you get settled in, it seems we have a problem. You see we’ve never had an executive make it this far, and we’re not really sure what to do with you.”
“No problem, just let me in,” said the woman.
“Well I’d like to, but I have higher orders. What we’re going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven – and then you can choose where you want to spend an eternity.”
“Actually, I’ve made up my mind. I prefer to stay here in Heaven,” said the women.
“Sorry, we have rules.” And with that St. Peter put the executive in an
elevator and it went down to hell.
When the doors opened she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of it were all the fellow executives that she had worked with that had already passed away. They ran up to her and kissed her on both cheeks and talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where they enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner. She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (and kind of cute). And she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. Before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everyone shook her hand and waved good-bye.
She got on the elevator and it went up to the Pearly Gates where St. Peter was again waiting for her. “Now it’s time to spend a day in heaven,” he said. So she spent the next 24 hours lounging on clouds, playing the harp, and singing. She had a great time there too, and before she knew it her 24 hours were up.
St. Peter then came to her. “So, you’ve spent a day in hell and you’ve spent a day in heaven. Now you must choose your eternity,” he said.
The woman paused for a second and then replied, “Well, never thought I’d say this, although Heaven seems really great and all, I think I would have a better time in Hell.” So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went down to Hell. When the doors opened, she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends dressed in rags and picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks without bottoms.
The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her. “I don’t understand,” she said, “There was a golf course and country club here, and we ate lobster and danced and had a great time. Now all there is only a wasteland of garbage and my friends look miserable.”
The Devil looked at her and smiled: “Yesterday we were recruiting you; today you’re staff.”
