It’s almost 4.30am here in the UK, I’ve just come home from the pub after a chinese and lots and lots of nasty cheap booze, and It’s the first time I’ve been out since the smoking ban and I hate it, its too cold to smoke outdoors!
Anyway I got home and thought the only way I’ll be able to beat anyone to the Yuk is to do it now, sorry im rambling a bit anyway heres some jokes….
First a lovely song, sang to the tune of golden brown
Gordon Brown, tax me, go on!
Take my money – almost all gone!
With New Labour in,
We’ll just never win.
Ever a frown, with Gordon Brown.
Every new budget hurts like the last.
Mortgage relief ends very fast.
Fate? That’s one in The Eye,
Flush? I’m sunk…high and dry.
Interest rates never down, with Gordon Brown.
Gordon Brown found a temptress,
Wed at last, she in a naff dress.
Shhhhhh! The damned tight-fisted git,
Even spent nowt on it.
Why, he’ll never go down, with Sarah Brown.
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An executive at a prominent software development company learns that the quality of software solutions provided by the company is in question. The executive takes immediate action and calls a meeting of the managers.
executive – “Quality is the differentiator for our company. Poor quality is simply not acceptable. So…right now…each of you imagine that you are sitting on an airplace at the terminal awaiting take-off…and you learn that the software controlling the avionics of the plane were written by your team. By show of hands, which of you would exit the airplane?”
Slowly but surely hands start lifting until all but one of the managers has their hands in the air. Intrigued, the executive queries the lone manager about that team’s techniques that make the software so reliable. “What is it your team is doing to produce quality software so much that you will stay on the plane?”
manager – “Improve quality?!?! Heck…if my team wrote it, the plane wouldn’t even taxi down the runway!”
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I liked this pic, so true!!
http://xkcd.com/290/
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And apparently Microsoft has a sense of humour
http://blogs.msdn.com/stevecla01/archive/2007/06/29/microsoft-has-a-sense-of-humour.aspx
Edited cos the link had swearing in it and to warn that the xkcd site is probable nsfw as its heading contains a naughty word
