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Funniest 'Slap on the Wrist' IT Stories?

By robo_dev ·
OK, I'll start:

Ages ago our IBM sales people were actually spamming our company email system in an effort to sell a product called a 'FSIOP'. This was a PC on a card that could run NetWare on an IBM AS/400 midrange system.

As a joke, I created a fake email from a fictional Compaq salesman (George T. McFly) which promoted a fake product called the 'FUIOP' which was an AS/400 on a card that could run in a Compaq server.

So I send this email to some other IT buddies....ha, ha, ha.

WELL, one of the IT Vice Presidents did not quite appreciate or understand that this was a joke.

He was actually calling the senior-level management at Compaq to find out more about this product (!) He also scheduled several meetings with his managers and technical people to discuss this exciting new product. (!!)

After he heard the uncontrollable giggling of the Director of Product Development from Compaq on the other end of the phone, he figured out that maybe this was not an actual product.

My boss, while laughing, said 'It's my duty to officially reprimand you. Certain members of IT management did not understand that your email was a joke, and were embarassed in front of their managers and technical staff'

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Management just proved the saying.

by RFink In reply to Funniest 'Slap on the Wr ...

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.

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OH Big Blue Stories can I join in? :^0

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to Funniest 'Slap on the Wr ...

OK many years ago before PC's I had an apprentice replace a cable to a terminal. One of those ribbon cables without much coloring and he messed up pushing the connector on the end. Well the end 23 floors up at least.

This so called lead carried low voltage and the Data and synced the terminal to the Main Frame way down below the surface of the ground. Well the moment that he plugged in everything went down and stayed down. A few $ of replaced hardware again and only after I had cut off the plug and told him how to fit a new one he did exactly the same thing again.

Now the people at this place where starting to get a bit uppity about the Main Frame going down and their terminals no longer working and where making a bit of noise saying something about being unable to work. You know the normal run of the mill stuff. When I found the apprentice I asked him what he thought he was playing at and I was informed that he had refitted a new plug exactly the same way as he had originally because it worked that way and couldn't do any harm. The hardware failures where something different and not his fault.

So because I'm so nice and level tempered person I picked up a 24 inch long number 1 Phillips Screwdriver and began chasing this nice fellow with the aim of catching him driving the screwdriver through his chest and out the other side while nailing him to a wall with his feet off the ground/floor as a small incentive to do as I told him to.

He ran out the back door attempting to raise a sweat with me in hot pursuit. I unfortunately ran into some Senior Management Type from my company who pulled me up wanting to know what I thought I was doing. After I explained the situation to him I was unfairly reprimanded for acting in a Unprofessional Manner and wanting to Torture and Kill that Apprentice. :_|

The upcome of this was I was told to run faster so the little Angel couldn't get away. :^0

Col ]:)

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Torturing and Killing co-workers....hmmm, let me look that up.

by robo_dev In reply to OH Big Blue Stories can I ...

...ahh here it is, on page 24 of the employee conduct manual. "Strictly Forbidden" it says.

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Yea I know HR said that as well.

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to Torturing and Killing co- ...

However I'm not sure that they needed to consult The Book. :0

But when it got kicked up higher to deal with me the story was different as the kid had a reputation of not doing what it was told and breaking things.

Apparently placing him with me was the Last Chance for him. As I was supposed to be great with Problem Children he was supposed to learn from me. Pity that no one actually told me about him and what he would do. Silly me thought that he would do as told after all I didn't just tell him to do it this way but I explained why it was so.

Then when he told me off for being stupid and not knowing what I was doing I must have snapped. Maybe the Guy jumping on me for the Down Time may have had something to do with it or maybe the Accountant that was complaining about needing to Ship out 2 sets of parts may have contributed to what happened not sure though.

But I loved being read the Riot Act for being a Naughty Little Boy and then after they where finished reprimanding me as I got up to leave I was told to Run Faster so you can catch him next time.

Needless to say I never actually saw this kid again but I did like the finial response that I was given.

Col

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And now I know the rest of the story

by seanferd In reply to OH Big Blue Stories can I ...

I recall the "screwdriver incident" being mentioned in another post. It's even better with the full narrative!

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Huh???

by ricrosen14 In reply to Funniest 'Slap on the Wr ...

I received a question from a certain user one morning, by lunch the same user asked the same question and then again that afternooon. When he called the next morning with the same question, I was real short with him over the phone. My Supervisor told me I should not be so angry over the phone and then went and verbally smacked the idiot with the stupid question.

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Help desk duty

by RFink In reply to Funniest 'Slap on the Wr ...

I was working the help desk when a call came in. A lady wanted to know if someone left a big brown box there. I told her hold on and I checked. Sure, enough there was a box in the lost and found. I told her yes, and that she would have to describe the contents to claim it. I heard this big sigh and she went in to detail about bra sizes, panties, and other woman stuff. I asked, "Excuse me, miss. Who are you calling?". She paused and asked, "This isn't Wal-Mart?".

I couldn't hold it, I busted a gut right there. After I hung up, my manager, who was also laughing said that laughing at a caller is not allowed.

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