Hubby's Turning 40

Get his friends together, get some tunes and make it into almost a carnival(sp) so there is something for all the kids.

Of course, try to find something that the big kid can do!

Of course a big LAN PARTY is cool too!

Will have to think about this and get back to you.

are that I'll think on this over the weekend!

First thoughts were for a surprise party (did one for my Other Half for his 50th - great time had by all) but it does take one heck of a lot of organising and planning. After minitot has arrived, you may not feel up to it right then. Way to get round? Surprise party, with all the invitees bringing home cooked food and drink on a voluntary basis. If they're worth inviting, they should be offering to do this anyhow, they will all know about your recent arrival!

No matter what, seriously think about involving the kids in "doing the house up" - i.e. decorating as much of the outside and inside of the house as you can. You can also get them to do home made decorations/posters etc. Loadsa balloons all over the place, and what really gives a red face is the largest banner you can find with "XXXX IS 40 TODAY" etc. (Had 50th ones plastered over cars, front of house, windows, balloons tied to gate, doorhandles etc. Chimney wasn't practical - too high!)

Another alternative is to turn it into a "disco", as he's into music, or even theme it as a 70's or 80's night. If you let him take over spinning the discs, he can play all his favourites, too!

As a pressie from you, Jessie, how about cutting out 40 hearts - each one can hold an IOU, a promise etc. (I'm hopeless at explaining what I'm thinking, sorry!) An IOU can be for washing the car, mowing the lawn etc. A promise for a sleep-in, pay for a pool game etc. These things don't cost a lot, but say much. Obviously, you can add more sentimental things i.e. IOU a love poem etc. Jessie, you don't need ME to tell you what to put into the soppy ones!!

Still thinking on the quiet nite theme too. In that case, hide all 40 heart messages, and create a treasure hunt! I agree with JD, you may find that's the only quiet, quality time you've had together since the arrival of minitot.

Will see what else my befuddled brain can come up with over the weekend. Hope this gives you some inspiration, Jessie!

When my brother turned 40, his wife had a friend dress up in a grim reaper costume and silently follow him for the whole evening. It was great. Of course, if you have 4 little ones running around and 1 more in the basinet, it might freak them out a bit.

Because of the bambino, how about celebrating this one as number 39 and giving him an IOU on number 40. Make specific plans now for the special time in one short year when you both have a LITTLE more freedom.

Happy Father's Day to him!

For women, the odd decade birthdays are milestones in life. Thirty, the biological clock starts ticking. Fifty, it stops. Seventy, people say "ma'am" and you realize they mean you.

But for men it's the even decades. Twenty: you're not a kid anymore and that's a good thing. Forty: you're not a kid anymore and that's not a good thing. Sixty... well I hit that two years ago and I still can't articulate what it means to me, so that should give you some clue as to its impact on our male spirits.

So start by understanding that this is probably a far more meaningful birthday for your husband than it was/will be for you. And you'd better know how your husband feels about important touchy-feely stuff. He may want a big deal, or he may start to not want candles on his cake. He probably feels pretty good about himself because he's got a happy family life. (Boy I'm reading a lot into this as a courtesy. ^_^) But still he's beginning to develop that "persistent wistfulness" we all feel in middle age, that unsatisfiable longing to know how things might be now if we'd made different decisions. Is he content with his job, education, home, friends, place he settled down, civic involvement, health, home improvement skills? Does he have a good balance of energy devotion to home/job/hobbies -- one that you're BOTH happy with?

I'm just playing therapist here. I'm not pretending to give you answers. I'm giving you questions that you can, hopefully, go out and answer for yourself.

Forty is a big deal for your husband, regardless of how he does or does not talk about it. It's a Rite of Passage that he's going through, consciously or unconsciously. It's something he has to do, but you can be a tremendous help.

If you do a good job, perhaps he'll do the same for you when you hit fifty, instead of wondering what all the fuss is about.

Good luck!

frozen peas or a six-pack are the two BEST after procedure care packs available.

No self-respecting guy is shoving a bannans between his legs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[b]Look for someone that uses a laser [/b]instead of the knife! Less chance of infection, less swelling and less pain. Also make sure he has a few pair of LOOSE sweat pants for the weekend.

Get him done NOW and you will both be back in action about the same time! Woo Woo!

I was going to say a lap dance, but 5 children? Oy vey! No dancing in the bubby's lap shall there be!

I would recommend that you make a gift certificate book with lil coupons. The coupons could be for anything. Yes... even the lap dance... oy vey!

Warm regards to both of you!

Oh and make sure that you use the Tom Jones version of Keep Your Hat On. Nerds like that version better! (Being a nerd, I am qualified to say that!)

get all dressed in a nurse's outfit, with a hat and sweater and white shoes????

then hand him a cup and a Cheri mag and say "fill it to the line"?

hahahahaha ]:)

My mom's a nurse, and I look enough like her already without dressing up in the outfit... I'm afraid that'd put hubby off for a good long while.

Would probably be a very effective means of birth control. ;)

was a nurse too...and my oldest sister is now.

Now you know why I don't date nurses.

now that is a creepy visual!

Mom?

Sister?

ewwww!

only nurse I ever went out with worked for my mom...and was 15 years older.

She was smart though and now runs a floor in a major hospital in a big city in Oklahoma...and still asks my mom if I'm married yet (mom didn't know about us going out...as I was 16).

Otherwise, yeah...creepy thought...right?

happy 101000
( 40 in binary )
you could do happy 50
( octal 40 )
or happy 28
( hexidecimal )

but that last might really confuse him a week or two after minitot shows up.

make sure the cake has 40 in binary in candles on it.

and a jar with 40 things, where one night a week he gets to pull one out.
( backrub, footrub, mad passionate sex.... )
good for most of a year that way. ;)

When the last one was born I arranged to have holidays the week before she was due and be at home for the next 3 weeks so I could help out. Well the due date came and went and still she showed no sings of showing up when it had reached the 3 rd week being overdue I walked "She Who Must Be Obeyed" all around town then up a steep hill to the Gyno offices and he hit the roof when he took her Blood pressure so he admitted her straight away and induced her at about 2.00 AM next morning which was quite a bit earlier than he had told her much to my wifes displeasure because it meant no breakfast and as the labor wore on she missed lunch as well "Boy didn't I cop it for that as if it was my fault. :D"

Well eventually at 1.33 PM the daughter arrived and the first thing that "She Who Must Be Obeyed demanded was something to eat. No it wasn't a request it really was a demand and as the Doctor had not been there for the delivery she had to wait until after he showed up, again that was my fault. :(

The only good thing to come out of it was that when she got out of the hospital I had 3 days with her before I had to return to work so I escaped most of the hostility for her missing out on both breakfast and lunch. I'm sure if I had not have walked her around our daughter would still be in there and she turns 30 this year. :)

When it comes to "Due Dates" I take them with a grain of salt as if the mother and baby are doing fine they are left alone and allow Nature to take its course so I suppose anytime within the next 3 years we will finally get to hear about the birth of the latest member of your family. Just make sure that you don't go near a computer for those 6 weeks by then the novelty will have worn off and you'll be asking yourself "Why Did I agree To This?" :p

Col ]:)

who needs lotion and paper towels?

jeez...you rank amateurs...it's all...about...technique :)

(I'm afraid if I say anymore, I'll get a warning...sorry folks ]:) )

Always remember that,
Alcohol is not a replacement for women,'cos your pinis might get stuck in the bottle.

nah...never found love in the bottom (or neck) of a bottle....slept really good though.

Codeine is about the only thing I've ever really liked...and, I avoid major dental work at all costs cause they have to give me heavy doses of it to kill any pain I might have.

I like the codeine too much...and know it would be my downfall.

after a really wild party, you wouldn't wanna pick up the nickname "half-pint", eh? :D

Jesus...a bottle...that is strange...I woulda never thought of that...and I thought I was a perv. ]:)

give him a BJ;) what man wouldn't want one on his birthday, and you probably won't be ready for action if it is only a couple of weeks after the birth.

My father inlaw gave me this piece of wisdom,and I figured since you have 5 kids it might help you out.

do you know what bird brings a baby? a STORK

do you know what bird doesn't bring a baby? a SWALLOW;)
Those are words to live by.

Seriously though if money is tight, have the young uns help you plan a nice party for him,family only, maybe include his parents and yours(if he gets along with them) and let the kids help prepare the food, decorate the cake,serve dad his food. My kids absolutely love that, although the menu will probably consist of all kid foods.You let him know that when things calm down a little and the baby is a little older you can treat him to a night out for 2.

My wife and kids did this for me and it was absolutely wonderful, then she took me to see Eric Clapton a couple of months later (awesome)

I do catering on the side and if you were a little closer to a bump in the road called Winchester In. I would help you plan the party and take care of the food, and since your are a fellow techie I'd do it for cost just to help out.

now that I think about it, that is a little pervy.

That was told to me by a friends grandpa,he was a recovering alcoholic and had one hell of a sense of humor.

He said the funniest thing I ever heard one day.
Someone told him about the rumor that there were people out there that would put hamsters were the sun don't shine, and he said, and I quote.
"hamsters are your friend you don't stick them up your a$$"
and moved on with the conversation I still lose it just thinking about it.

He is possible the funniest man alive, and his "rules" to live by could possible get you killed.

my wife and I.

as much as we enjoy the sex, it's the person that is important.

but somehow, I know you'd still like it better if he wasn't paralyzed below the waist ;)

oh dear...from what to give...to what you'd get...I love this conversation... ]:)

Call up all his RPG-gamer friends and find out what his favorite game is, and arrange a session as part of his birthday festivities. Make sure HE does not have to run the session; somebody else should gamemaster. Have the GM roll up the meanest, baddest, most uber-powered supercharacter in the history of time and space for your hubby to play, then lay out a "one-shot" adventure where he is the star. All his buddies should have subordinate roles, AKA as sidekicks or adversaries.

Trust me, this is every Munchkin-gamer's dream, to have one RPG session that is all about them. It's also cheap, gets his friends involved, is really personal and thoughtful, and lasts only a few hours. Plus, you can do it while eating and drinking.

Barring that, a good LAN party is always in order, especially if you can arrange for him to "borrow" a high-end gamer PC from someone who really has it tricked out (or have all your buds lend out components for a shortlived "Frankenstein" super-game PC, which will live and die one night only). Again, you'd need the right friends with the right toys, but most gamer geeks have them.

forever.

At the credit union I used to go to they had this really cute little girl working as a teller. :x

One day as we stood in line after work, my bud informed me that she used to go out with a friend of his. His words will haunt me everytime I see her.

"She takes it in the A$$, and [b]LIKES[/b] it". :O

Now you can NEVER look at someone the same way after hearing something like that! ]:)

I hope you weren't looking at her in a bad way after that....right? ;)

hahahaha...a 3-way girl...woot! hahahaha ]:)

yah...was pervy...creative, though. Although...I'd need at least a minimum of a 3 liter bottle, and even then I'd be concerned.

Maybe a Miracle Whip jar? No...can't...might get mixed up and the company would wonder if it was Lite or not when they had it on a sammich ]:)

(this is getting progressively worse...hehehehe) ]:)

Yeah, my buddy Angus in Ontario tells me the new AD&D is really refined...he and his buddies have been playing for about 25 years like I have.

Although, I don't get to play much anymore...no one else local here plays...they're all into trains...and motorcycles...and family...and lawn mowing...and boating.

Whatever happened to the days of a group getting together...someone goes to the food saver store and gets all the 2 for $1 pizza that $20 can buy...someone buys $20 of soda...someone else buys $20 of chips and dips...and you pig out and play for 14 hours straight only to stop to go pee or answer a call from your family?

Jeez...I'm getting all nostalgic...I better go before I get too reminiscent :(

You are correct,my wife has an aunt that enjoys an alternate lifestyle,she is very nice and extremely intelligent but I cannot look her in the face and talk to her. Every time I try all I can think about is where her face has been :p and I get totally distracted.
Sounds to me like you need to look up that teller and take a test drive.

but, never underestimate the odds that in 6 billion there's no one better...

I thought I was good with my oral skills...til I got to know my best friend...this guy (not a GQ looker or anything) was talented enough...that he had lesbians asking him to perform on them. I kid you not. The guy showed me once...he musta had bionic muscles...could roll his tongue like a flag waving in the breeze...and his wife said he was the first person to ever make her orgasm...and she dated for years actively.

Anyways...not saying your husband isn't enough...because, you said he is...and that's what counts most.

I just know I learned my lesson...I'd been told I was good...now, I call my best friend "King of Oral".

It's okay, though...I got other talents anyways...like...I can cook...hahahahaaha ]:)

www.nggnet.com/classifieds/ Wanted/Gamers/statesFthroughI.htm

If you want to play, here's a link... advertising for gamers wanted, may it help you find fullfilment... you could even meet the love of your life there.

yeah...never know...but, I figure I'm more likely to meet my soulmate as she'll be the cop who's writing the accident report, or reciting a poem at a fishing convention.

It'll be something weird...I'm like that...it'll come when no one (especially me) is expecting it.

I think God will even go "Oh...finally...he did it." when I meet the right girl.

are lucky.

All I've ever done is sit on the couch and watch...never been told or taught...

Lucky I have a photographic memory though :) (or what's left of it after years of booze ]:) )

oh well...I'm outta practice anyways...I gotta get me a girl and get back in "shape" before I can even think of becoming a stud again...I still remember what to do...just don't know if my creaky old joints can move that way anymore :(

You guys are sick, sick, sick!

Anyway, I just wanted to thank you all for the excellent posts!!!!

You should try using a peanut butter jar, nice and smooth (ah man it's great), just don't let the little stockboy catch you putting the jar back on the shelf.

Hell, I got yelled at the other day for rubbing one out at the dinner table.
I will say that my wife wasn't as mad as the manager at the Cracker Barrel.

for not being anally-retentive and politically correct and overly polite and thinking mentioning human behavior and sexuality is so taboo, like a lot of overly-sensitive people do.

ok...penis...vagina...anus...nostril...duodenum...bile duct...coccyx...

there...body parts...the FCC can't get me for saying the first 3 if the other 4 follow...because they make it a scientific review ]:)

ok...someone...scream dirty words and let's all chuckle like teenagers then dig out the dirty magazines that someone stole from their mom and dad's bottom drawer.

I did that once at a Waffle House...

I don't think me tossing off under the table was the problem...

it was me laying it up on the table to clean it off that got the waitress upset ]:)

I am laughing so hard my stomach hurts, that is freaking hilarious.

I tell you what really got me in trouble,
I had been drinking and feeling pretty horny and a little hungry,so I stumbled into a restuarant where a group of feminist were having a meeting(i didn't know they were feminists).I see all these pretty ladies sitting there chit chatting,so I got into my best ladies man persona walked in and hollered "Which one of you cupcakes wants to come to my house cook me dinner and give me a blowj0b" I barely made it out alive, can you believe that

have you ever been caught rubbing one out in the closet.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
NO?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.great place to hide isn't it

I've never been in a closet...either euphemistically...or to toss one...I always use the bathroom cause it had a lock...

Plus...I never wanted company to come over and the parents take their coat and...well ya know...catch me using my towel rack.

As for feminists...God...I can believe it...I knew a femi-nazi once who said "There's nothing you can do with that I can't do with mine." after me and some guys had talked about women not being able to do what men can (she took it as an assault on women...when it was just a joking discussion in a college student center)

I looked at her and reminded her, much to her chagrin: "I can get you pregnant with mine...can you do that with yours?"

She shut up real quick.

Only thing that would have made that more awkward if she'd have been one of my professors...hahahaha :O

You forgot about the HELICOPTER,what the hell could she do.

What is that woman you washing a window or what?

HELICOPTER,HELICOPTER,HELICOPTER

omg thats funny

I must be naive...sorry...or not knowledgable on helicopters.

She'd interrupted a conversation about guys being able to pee their name in the snow...ya know...the kinda thing 19 year olds BS about...I just knew enough to be dangerous and say something that made her lips shut.

I wasn't meaning to be a mongrel...just to stunt her bias...

Besides...it's not like I put it in her mouth to shut her up...jeez...I'm not that bad...am I? ]:)

I spelled it right...you're thinking of my use of it...

I still remember the first flick I ever saw...Oriental Hawaii...and Debbie Does Dallas...all on one tape...yeah baby!!! ]:)

Oh Mr. Greenfeld!!! hahahahaha

anyways...erm...btw...did I mention the Waffle House waitress had a good grip?

She walked me out the door without grabbin my ear! ]:)

to shut them up is only a problem, when you take it out and they have to swallow before they can talk, that seems to make them a bit cranky.

You mean to tell me you have never done the HELICOPTER.

that is a bit from comedian Rodney Carrington about the male appendage,I believe it is on his album Morning Wood, if you are not familiar with his work you are really missing out,that is some of the best standup out there.

never heard of him...so, I haven't caught that bit of humour.

However...if it has to do with sitting and spinning...I already thought of that idea years ago...except it involved a Hunter ceiling fan on low...bungee cords...and a lot of lubricant...hahahaha

I'm telling you, ladies...I'm creative... ]:)

Guys need pointers or new ideas? $50 a min hahahaha

Geeez, leave for a few minutes and look what happens! JCK starts quoting Rush Limbaugh! I KNOW his liberal creampuff was all an ACT! BWAHAAHAAHAAAAA!

As for knocking ONE off, just like positions and places with help it is easier to list where you HAVEN'T than where you have.

And yes, the John Fox alla Mayonayse is always enought to make you sick or laugh your a$$ off, depending on if YOUR the one eating the sandwitch or not!

And as for the Teller, I didn't say I wanted to SHARE her, as the only bud of mine that I share women with is in a commited relationship now! Oh the days of Sweet Marrie!

And the best line of the day award goes to ANYKEY for his grand submissing of [b] "Which one of you cupcakes wants to come to my house cook me dinner and give me a blowj0b" [/b] He just forgot to add about cleaning up before they leave!

And of course don't forget the guest mention to Mambo for being nice enough to stop on by!

And the number one reason MEN are more supirior than women, we can EASILY write our name in the snow!

Helicoptor? I am AFRAID to ask.....

I'm paraphrasing here...

Fellas you know when you get outta the shower and its a little longer from the heat.
You look in the mirror and say look at that big motherfrucker.and say(while swiveling hips in a circular motion) HELICOPTER,HELICOPTER,HELICOPTER

he is a riot you should look into some of his stuff.

I did no such thing...I might have said something similar, but I haven't even watched or listened to that windbag since I read the report about how wrong he was about things he claimed to know. Nothing worse than a political spinster than one who also doesn't really know his facts. And...that goes for both donkeys and elephants.

Want me to quote you some Bob Dylan so you can call me a liberal again????

*all nasally*
Oh how does feeeeeeeeeel...
How does it feeeeeeeeeel...

hahahaha

er...I never did much o'that...bein a fat kid...

Besides...if I would have, I'd have had to go for treatment for bruised knees. ]:)

Sounds like a riot, anykey...I'll see if I can find some of his stuff next time I'm in the store...which could be a month or two...I don't go shopping much.

I still like my fan idea tho...could make for an interesting evening...heheh...especially if you have a remote speed control on your fan (which...I have) :)

reminds me of the time my wife was having pain down there,so being the gentleman that I am I took her to get it checked out.
Doctors diagnosis bruised cervix, and guess who takes the blame,me, its not like I was the only one involved. ;)

Just call me Cap'n Stabbin

Cap'n Stabbin...that's a name I've seen in flick credits...oh jeez...

I've never done that...I'm too gentle, I guess...

but...I'm like a duracell battery tho :)

ok...enough talkin about my parts...let's talk about women now...sounds better to me :)

that doesn't sound like an interesting evening that sounds like a freaking great evening.

Here is a little help on the Rodney Carrington albums. these titles are in no particular order.
Hangin with Rodney
Come on laugh you ba$tards
Morning Wood
Nutsack
Greatest Hits
if you were only going to get 1, go for morning wood or best of, I personally have all of them but I'm a little twisted like that

Femi-nazi. Who do you think was running around saying that back in the 80's?

I think the funniest thing about Rush is the people that don't know the difference between a journalist and an advocate. He has never made a claim to be anything BUT a Republican supporter.

Not that this has stopped him from critisising Republicans when they need it too...

Don't personally listen to him much these days, but it IS funny the way the wackos from the extreme left go nuts over him. They make up almost 1/3 of his listening audiance making him even more powerful! Kind of like the love/hate relationship people had with Stern. He also had as meny people that hate him listening as otherwise. Too funny!

Now, back to the mayonayse. Here, let me butter your popcorn for you. (ala Diceman)

I have never actually done that either, but it does get some interesting looks when you tell people that.

My problem is that I only have 3 inches, and most women don't like it that wide.

feminazi was a term Rush popularized, but had been used in newspaper columns before he was around (in reference to radical ERA/NOW supporters).

Limbaugh, of course, credited a personal friend for coining it...much like he credited Gingrich for being a great congressional leader while he held up the budget and made government employees lose their homes because they had no paycheck. All talk...little substance.

I didn't see Limbaugh til about 1989... remember... I lived in rural Oklahoma...we were a few years behind everyone else...except rural Michigan...hahaha ;)

Nah...Limbaugh actually used to be pretty informative on some stuff. Now, he's become like all the other radio hosts who think they're God's gift to political analysis...he has as big a spin as he and/or their broadcast executives want them to have...Hannerty and O'Reilly and even Dan Rather have all put spins on their stories.

Personally, I don't listen to him because he proved to be full of bull. I like listening to someone who tells it like it is...whether or not it's easy news to take or not...like Christian Slater's character in the movie "Pump Up The Volume" said: 'The Truth Is A Virus'. i.e.- it's gonna get to you no matter where you go and you'll have to face it eventually.

Too bad Samantha Mathis' knockers were the only highlight of that movie...dammit.

I'm as bad as Mr. Skin, aren't I? ]:)

AnyKey, You must have read my reply to CuteElf in the Network discussion about width!

You owe me a nickle everytime you use it. Please send care of TR.

As for the other part, yes a young lady once had to get stitches many years ago.... Hard to keep a straight face when they tell you, let me say. Here I thought she had started "that time" in the middle of the session. Live and learn.

to say down at the old office:

"It's all about the girth, baby!"

Seriously...ya feel kind of like a proud owner when someone describes you to someone else as "big as a baby's arm".

I know I was like "Damn...really?"

I always thought I was small...of course me lookin down at it is akin to someone lookin at a tractor-trailer off a 5-story building...all that distance down...

3 inches wide...hm...damn...you do need a mayo jar...especially if that's flacid...can you say, gallon jar from Sam's Club? hahahahaah ]:)

there is no dispute.
As my friends' grandpa told us as teens.
Now boys you just remember what I'm about to tell ya 'cos I'm speakin from experience.

Long and thin goes further in
but short and thick is what does the trick.

That man is a genius.

I'm sorry, I lied about the 3 inches, I was streching the truth a bit, in all honesty it is more like 2 7/8 +/- 1/8

actually...I think I'll do like my hero Stern and lie in the opposite fashion.

I'm hung like a pimple.

hahaha ]:)

I'll paraphrase a little more Rodney Carrington for you.

Country Flowers, Massengil country flowers thats poody poo freshener, who wants to eat a country flower,make a flavor we like chicken,beef bouillon any thing, give me a reason to take my hat off and go down there.

I feel like chicken tonite, chicken tonite

er...little brown ring...bad image...Andy Dick singing...blah

as for scent...I'd prefer it smell like flowers, but when I'm done that I come up looking like I just ate the middle of a 1 foot wide fresh-baked glazed donut ]:)

starts at her tonsals!

A woman doesn't need to cook and clean for me as long as she can do that.....