After Hours

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It's 12.48 am on Friday Aug 21 2009 - so yuk time

By Deadly Ernest ·
Tags: Off Topic
And great news of an early start for those receiving this from the future.


God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the Archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day.

He inquired, "Where have you been?"

God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look,Michael. Look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said. "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place to test Balance."

"Balance?" inquired Michael, "I'm still confused."

God explained, pointing to different parts of earth.
"For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while Southern Europe is going to be poor. Over here I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things."

God continued pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area and said, "What's that one?"

That's Washington State, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests,hills, and plains. The people from Washington State are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to travel the world. They will be extremely sociable, hard working, high achieving, carriers of peace, and producers of software."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, "But what about balance, God? You said there would be balance."

God smiled, "There's another Washington. Wait till you see the idiots I put there."

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Wow, Love it

by Fregeus In reply to It's 12.48 am on Friday A ...

Nice beginning of a thursday here in Canada.


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Hey man, you're behind the times, literally - nt

by Deadly Ernest In reply to Wow, Love it
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messages from the future

by The Scummy One In reply to Hey man, you're behind th ...

often are displaced in time when appearing in the past :0

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A variation

by The Scummy One In reply to It's 12.48 am on Friday A ...

the one that I originally came across was California, and the balance was " Wait till you see the idiots that govern it"

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over the years I've seen many variants, but not for a while

by Deadly Ernest In reply to A variation

so i thought this one I recently came across was good for a go.

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NP -- it is still good

by The Scummy One In reply to over the years I've seen ...

just took me back a bit

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The Final Exam

by boxfiddler Moderator In reply to It's 12.48 am on Friday A ...

At Penn State University , there were four sophomores taking chemistry and all of them had an 'A' so far. These four friends were so confident that, the weekend before finals, they decided to visit some friends and have a big party. They had a great time but, after all the hearty partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Penn State until early Monday morning.

Rather than taking the final then, they decided that after the final they would explain to their professor why they missed it. They said that they visited friends but on the way back they had a flat tire. As a result, they missed the final. The professor agreed they could make up the final the next day. The guys were excited and relieved. They studied that night for the exam.

The next day the Professor placed them in separate rooms and gave them a test booklet. They quickly answered the first problem worth 5 points. Cool, they thought! Each one in separate rooms, thinking this was going to be easy... then they turned the page. On the second page was written...

For 95 points: Which tire? _________

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A good alibi

by The Scummy One In reply to The Final Exam

is a solid one

I liked this one :^0

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I recently tried the new Viagra eyedrops .........

by OldER Mycroft In reply to It's 12.48 am on Friday A ...

My eyesight was fucked but at least I looked hard !! :^0

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Bedtime Football ...

by OldER Mycroft In reply to It's 12.48 am on Friday A ...

An old man and his wife have gone to bed. After laying in bed for a few minutes the old man lets out a loud fart and says "one-nil."

His wife rolls over and asks, "What in the world was that?"

The old man says, "A goal. I'm ahead one-nil."

A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says, "Goal! One all." The old boy farts again. "Goal! I'm ahead 2-1."

Now starting to get into this the wife quickly farts again and says, "Goal! 2 all."

The old man tries to fart again, but cannot. Trying desperately not to be outdone by his wife, he gives it everything he has to get out just one more fart. He strains a little too hard and sh|ts in the bed. The wife asks, "Now what in the world was that?"

The old man replies, "Half-time, switch sides!"

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