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Laser that induces vomiting ...

By OldER Mycroft ·
Laser Energetics of America had proudly announced its latest weapons. According to boss Robert Battis, they fire green rays just like in Star Wars "to help the military, law enforcement, correctional facilities, security, border patrol, piracy control, homeland security, airport security and more."

And the good news is they don't kill the bad guys - they just make them puke.

This remarkable effect is caused by the green ray messing with the target's vision and balance, generating the urge to throw up. The weapon comes in two useful sizes:

#1 - A hand-held version, which is claimed to be effective up to a mile away

#2 - A mini-torchlight model, which can reintroduce you to last night's pizza from 100 metres

The manufacturers assured Zygote that their weapons of mess extraction worked even with the target's eyes shut, but they failed to respond to the obvious flaw in the system: what if the Terminator wears mirrored sunglasses ??

* Zygote, Computer Shopper, October 2009 edition.

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by cmiller5400 In reply to Laser that induces vomiti ...

Just what I want!! Another mess to clean up :_|

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by Ed Woychowsky In reply to Laser that induces vomiti ...

Do they have a gift registry?

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by Shellbot In reply to Laser that induces vomiti ...

i can think of a lot of times that would come in handy!!

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The manufacturer's press release.

by CharlieSpencer In reply to Laser that induces vomiti ...

While this says the weapon is effective to 2400 meters, I question the ability to hit a target in the eyes at two and a half kilometers unless you're a trained military sniper.

What if I'm wearing my Oakley's? ****, what about cheap Ambervision shades? The yellow lenses have got to have some effect on a green wavelength.

How effective is it as a crowd control tool once the tear gas or smoke canisters have fogged up the air?

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A great fundraiser : The actual brochure.

by Oz_Media In reply to The manufacturer's press ...

From the press release they link to their brochure on the product. They have cut the cost of maunfacturing plants a great deal, from 1.5 million to $150K, a bit fishy really. The finished tools shown, a gun and pointer style, don't have stats that really stand up to the earlier designs.

The more you read, the less effective it is. First of all, it doesn' make you puke, having it targeted in the eyes, while on a concentrated short range beam, MAY result in the person becoming visually disabled which can then lead to balance issues and of course feelings of nausea.

Not exactly, point-shoot-puke though, as they originally imply in their press release.

I think it's just a costly 'what if' to get more private funding for projects. they STUMBLED on this in true scientific fashion, but are taking a shot in the dark (no pun intended) as far as creating a non lethal weapon out of it, at least not yet anyway.

They saw a small opportunity and patented a gun right away, great fundraiser to get big American corporations on board.

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Much better: Madonna songs that induce vomiting

by DelbertPGH In reply to A great fundraiser : The ...

And, Rick Springfield songs that induce seizures.

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by maecuff In reply to Laser that induces vomiti ...

Wonder how long before it's used as a tool for bulemics? Or for kids who want to go home from school.

And what about the whole domino effect? You want to make ONE person puke and deter him from doing whatever crime he is committing and everyone around him starts puking. It could get very ugly.

I'm feeling puny just thinking about it.

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by Shellbot In reply to Perfect

i didn't consider the knowk on effects..

vomit-fest..err..ya..not good..

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I see vomit, I smell vomit...

by cmiller5400 In reply to oops
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Seen one

by Jellimonsta In reply to oops

Not the laser, a vomit-fest.
A number of years ago my friend and I were at the fair. A young kid got off the Waltzers and puked on his sister. She in turn puked on her Mom, who then puked on the floor. A bystander puked on the floor too. That was when we booked it. It would have been fun to see any other carnage, but I don't think my stomach could have handled it. :0

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