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By npsharma14 ·
Abundance Mentality/Scarcity Mentality:

To compensate for my lack of internal maturity and emotional strength, I might borrow strength from my position and power, or from my credentials, my seniority, my affiliations. If I am high on consideration and low on courage, I'll think Lose/Win. I'll be so considerate of your convictions and desires that I won't have the courage to express and actualize my own. Abundance Mentality: The third character trait essential to Win/Win is the Abundance Mentality, the paradigm that there is plenty out there for everybody. People with Scarcity Mentality have a very difficult time-sharing recognition and credit, power or profit - even with those who help in the production. They also have a very hard time being genuinely happy for the successes of other people-even, and sometimes especially, members of their own family or close friends and associates. It's almost as if something is being taken from them when someone else receives special recognition or windfal! l gain or has remarkable success or achievement. Although they might verbally express happiness for others success, inwardly they are eating their hearts out. Their sense of worth comes from being compared, and someone else's success, to some degree, means their failure. Often people with a Scarcity Mentality harbor secret hopes that others might suffer misfortune-not terrible misfortune, but acceptable misfortune that would keep them "in their place." They're always comparing, always competing. They give their energies to possessing things or other people in order to increase their sense of worth. They want other people to be the way they want them to be. They often want to clone them, and they surround themselves with "yes" people-people who won't challenge them, people who are weaker than they. It's difficult for people with a Scarcity Mentality to be members of a complementary team. They look on differences as signs of insubordination and disloyalty. The Abundance Mental! ity, on the other hand flows out of a deep inner sense of personal worth and security. Public Victory does not mean victory over other people. It means success in effective interaction that brings mutually beneficial results to everyone involved. Public Victory means working together, communicating together, making things happen together that even the same people couldn't happen by working independently. And Public Victory is an outgrowth of the Abundance Mentality paradigm. A character rich in integrity, maturity, and the Abundance Mentality has a genuineness that goes far beyond technique, or lack of it, in human interaction. One thing particularly helpful to Win/Lose people in developing a Win/Win character is to associate with some model or mentor who really thinks Win/Win. Relationships From the foundation of character, we build and maintain Win/Win relationships. The trust, the Emotional Bank Account, is the essence of Win/Win. Without trust, the best we can do is comp! romise; without trust we lack we lack the credibility for open, mutual learning and communication and real creativity. If our Emotional bank Account is high, credibility is no longer an issue. Enough deposits have been made so that you know and I know that we deeply respect each other. We're focused on the issues, not on personalities or positions. Because we trust each other, we're open. We put our cards on the table. Even though we see things differently I know that you're willing to listen with respect while I describe the young woman to you, and you know that I'll treat your description of the old woman with the same respect. We're both committed to try to understand each other's point of view deeply and to work together for the Third Alternative, the synergistic solution, that will be a better answer for both of us.

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