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Monday Yuk: a Liberal, a Moderate and a Conservative step into a bar...

By AnsuGisalas ·
Tags: Off Topic
Says the bartender: Hi Mitt!

C'mon, I thought it was funny, regardless of politics :^0

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I got this one in an email last week

by Slayer_ In reply to Monday Yuk: a Liberal, a ...

Apparently its a recording from a Fargo radio show

It's clean, but really funny,

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VERY funny!

by charleyj98 In reply to I got this one in an emai ...

Hilarious! This has got to be a rehearsed joke!

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A Long, Long Time Ago

by Slayer_ In reply to Monday Yuk: a Liberal, a ...

...people who sacrifice their sleep, family, food, laughter and other joys of life were called SAINTS

But now, they are called IT Professionals.

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Maybe we should consider this the friday yuk as well

by Slayer_ In reply to Monday Yuk: a Liberal, a ...

Come on people, post something!

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Well then something not PC

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to Monday Yuk: a Liberal, a ...

The Jewish Elbow

A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown

grandson who is coming to visit with his wife.

"You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in

apartment 301 . There is a big panel at the front door.

With your elbow , push button 301. I will buzz you in.

Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and

with your elbow push 3. When you get out, I'm on the left.

With your elbow , hit my doorbell.""Grandma, that sounds

easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?

"What ... You coming empty handed?"


Wise Italian Grandfather

Why Italian Fathers and Grandfathers pass their handguns down through the family.

An old Italian man is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, Guido, I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated .38 revolver so you will always remember me.

"But grandpa, I really don't like guns. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?"

"You lissina me, boy. Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos."

"Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man. "Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, 'times up' "?

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Interesting just now

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to Well then something not P ...

I got a E Mail asking me to claim my $80.00 Virgin Voucher, though I'm not sure just how much a Virgin costs nowadays but I'm willing to believe that it's a lot more than $80.00.

Col ]:)

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by Slayer_ In reply to Interesting just now

That's funnier than the jokes

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Virgin - noun;

by CharlieSpencer In reply to Interesting just now

a South Carolina girl who can outrun her cousins.

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Virgin - noun

by charleyj98 In reply to Virgin - noun;

Or Georgia, or Alabama,,,,,,,

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Bagpiper at a funeral

by AnsuGisalas In reply to Monday Yuk: a Liberal, a ...

As a bagpiper I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a

funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless

man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a

pauper's cemetery in the back country. As I was not familiar

with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man,

I didn't stop for directions.

I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently

gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the

diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch.

I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the

side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in

place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play.

The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around.

I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends.

I played like I've never played before for this homeless man.

And as I played 'Amazing Grace,' the workers began to weep. They wept,

I wept, we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my bagpipes

and started for my car.

Though my head hung low, my heart was full.

As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say,

"I never seen nothin' like that before and I've been putting in

septic tanks for twenty years."

Apparently, I'm still lost... It's a man thing.

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