IT Employment

General discussion


Monday Yuk

By Oz_Media ·
Okay okay, I know it breaks the code but I got a couple of Yuks from friends this morning I thought may help someone else have a good day.

But first...This past weekend was the 2006 Easter Seals 24hr relay in Burnaby BC. With 142 teams (10+35+ each team), each having a man in motion over a 2.5 mile course for a continual 24 hours.
Each team has fundraisers and collects pledges to raise money. While our team did raise a few grand, the overall rewlay raised more than 1.2 MILLION to send kids with special needs to summer camps. They get to do things they would never be able to do otherwise, specially built canoes and climbing equipment, nurse and facilities help these kids really expand on their abilities and boost thie rconfidence. There are a couple of my team members who are regular 'viewers' here, with a few posts into the mix, so I want to thank them from the very bootm of my heart for all thier hard work.

Now for the early Yuk:

Having a bad day?
In a hospital's Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 a.m., regardless of their medical condition.
This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths occurred around 11:00 a.m. on; Sunday, so a worldwide team of experts was assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents.

The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11:00 a.m., all of the doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books, and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits.

Just when the clock struck 11:00, Pookie Johnson, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so he could use the vacuum cleaner.

Having a Bad Day????

The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez Oil spill in Alaska was $80,000.00. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers.

A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.

Still think you are having a Bad Day????

A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.

STILL think you're having Bad Day????

Two animal rights defenders were protesting the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly.
The two helpless protesters were trampled to death.

What?? STILL having a Bad Day????

Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with "Return to Sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.

There now, feeling better??

EDITL Have sent request to move discussion to 'General' discussion, sorry for the mispost

This conversation is currently closed to new comments.

Thread display: Collapse - | Expand +

All Comments

Collapse -

Oz was so excited by these Yuks...

by DMambo In reply to Monday Yuk

that he posted them in the Network Admin forum.

Hey, next weekend we have a similar 36-hour Relay for Life for the American Cancer Society and the local hospital's cancer center. I still may be a little bleary eyed Monday morning. But after what's happened to family and friends over the past two or three years, I'll be happy to help raise money.

Anyone who wants to contribute can PM me..........

Collapse -

Network admin

by Oz_Media In reply to Oz was so excited by thes ...

I was thinking of the Win Server forum, but they lack a sense of humour.

Collapse -

Living Will Form

by jdclyde In reply to Monday Yuk

Living Will Form

I, ____________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.

Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it. Nor in the hands of lawyers/doctors who are interested simply in running up the bills.

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:

Rum and Coke
Bloody Mary,
Vodka and Tonic,
Steak, lobster or crab legs,
the remote control,
a bowl of ice cream,
the sports page,
or sex ...

it should be presumed that I won't ever get better.

When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.

At this point, it is time to call a New Orleans Jazz Funeral Band to come do their thing at my funeral, and ask all of my friends to raise their glasses to toast the good times we have had.

Signature: ___________________________
Date: ___________________________

I also hear that in Ireland they have a Nursing Home with a Pub. The patients are happier and they have a lot more visitors.

Related Discussions

Related Forums