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My manager has demeaning and humiliating attitude!!!!!

By makingITsimple ·
My manager has demeaning and humiliating attitude towards me for the last two years. Examples of his behavior include his constant threats of termination and attempts to create false ground in which I would be pressurized to leave the company. He over-scrutinizes my work performance in such a way that it would jeopardize my growth and/or promotion within the company. His attitude already has driven out a co-worker who has found employment some where else, as he could not stand the humiliation. In this sort of situation what are my rights and what actions would you suggest that I take?

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Because they can

by Black Panther In reply to My manager has demeaning ...

Does your workplace have an anti-discrimation policy? A HR or liason officer?

I had the same happen years ago and was afraid to voice my opinion verbally so in the end I wrote a letter, organised a meeting with the CEO and the manager and let them both read it together.

In a way the Manager was unaware that his actions were affecting me and things got better until I moved on. The irony of it all was in the end he left soon after that.

Somehow in someway you need to make a stand and let this person know.

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Meeting with Manager and HR

by makingITsimple In reply to Because they can

Thank you for the posting. You are right, in the sense that I was afraid of voicing my opinion but there is a limit to everything. During the past month, I have attempted to communicate with my manager both in written and verbally, but to no avail. After the last meeting with my manager I became so flustered that I excuse myself and wrote him an email asking him for a solution or I would have to go to HR myself and make a formal complaint. I was humiliated because of his harassing attitude, as an example he said things like, ?Sit?, ?look at me when I am talking to you?, ?I am your manager do what I say?; this was all said in commanding and loud voice. Through all this I kept myself cool. Now finally, he has arranged a meeting with HR, himself and I to discuss my past two reviews (which have gone quite badly and inconsistent) and his demeaning attitude towards me for the past two years. I am planning on brining the whole matter into a complete written document to present at this meeting. I am also thinking of contacting an employment lawyer to discuss my rights and options. I would appreciate any other comments or suggestion that could lend me some feedback into my quandary.

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Get out now before you make things worse

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to Meeting with Manager and ...

While you may have a case by following it you will gain a reputation that is unwelcome latter in life. In any workplace there are people we would never "**** on if they where on fire" but you do not need to lower your standards to their level just to keep working there as quite likely when push comes to shove it will be the more senior persons side that the company will take.

While its not right it is a fact of life and some things just are not worth fighting for.

You might win this one and find that you are unemployable in the future and are constantly overlooked for promotion if the company stays afloat.


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by maecuff In reply to Meeting with Manager and ...

How you feel. I had a similar situation. My boss spoke to me as if I were an idiot. (But it was always just a joke) Ridiculed me in public when I changed the color of my hair. He gathered the whole department around my cubicle to tell them about a mistake I had made. Without going into more detail, I can just say he made my life at work ****. Eventually, news of his behavior made its way to our VP (we're in different buildings) and he asked me what was going on in IT. After a looong meeting, the VP promised that he would work with the director and get the problems cleared up. Didn't happen. The director finally imploded and was asked to resign. I've had his old job for two years now and EVERYONE in IT are still breathing sighs of relief. I know my situation worked out in the best possible way, and everyone else can't be so lucky. I would suggest that you start keeping a log of each abuse inflicted, date, time, etc. Take it to HR and if they won't do anything about it, talk to an attorney. No one deserves to be treated with disrespect. As a manager, I feel that I have to earn my employees respect and they deserve mine. Good luck!

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On thr money.

by sleepin'dawg In reply to understand..

As further ammunition for the case, the precedent of the other employee can be brought forth and if he were to be contacted and would supply corroboration, the evidence against this jerk would be overwhelming. It shouldn't require much more than a detailed e-mail from him with Bcc to the CEO and HR.

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Weigh up the pro's and con's

by Black Panther In reply to Meeting with Manager and ...

I would suggest that you dig deep within yourself and before going any further decide on what you expect as a final outcome to your predicament. In the end no matter how many suggestions anybody gives you it is YOU that has to live with the outcome, yourself and the people around you.

ie Will the War itself be worth the final achievement! Will the battle change the way the management see you or behave?

The options are:---

1. Do nothing -- can you live with this?

2. Fight the battle against them -- what results and outcomes do you expect and do you honestly believe they are achievable.

3. Look for alternative employment ( keep working until you have another job ) - you will feel better just knowing that you will not be there forever.

Best of luck ( if I can be of any further help please let me know )


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Been there - Only a VP was the one

by SkipperUSN In reply to My manager has demeaning ...

I've been there - as they say. Only it wasn't the Director it was the VP of the department. He would belittle you infront of Vendors and clients. "I told you this, don't you F'en understand English! Are you that Stupid!".. those were the kinder words he would use. Two hours later it would be like he was your best buddy - it was like he never said those things.

The thing was it wasn't just me - it was everyone. It was his method of dealing with people. HR sent him to classes and other training - To some really nice locations. Things would be find for a few weeks - then back to the same old - Mr. VP.

HR - would send him to more classes... This went on for 3 years till the end of his contract and they replaced him. But in those 3 years we lost some of the greatest talent in the field - and do you think HR cared ... Nope - lets take care of Mr. VP (or Mr. Director) - lets give him/her every chance to correct their attitute no matter how many employees it costs...

So its a good start - to meet with HR and Him - he sounds like my old VP! If he is the same way - my dad once said - A Lepord never changes his spots - once an abuser - always an abuser. And I think thats what you have - I bet he beats his wife and kids as well - If I were you, bring your employment lawyer with you to the meeting - and have the proceeding recorded!

You are dealing with an Abuser - So hire and talk with an Employment lawyer first! Remember an Abuser will lie, cheat, steal, backstabe whatever needs done to keep their power! Get results in Writing - Get all Parties to Sign it! Get Action Items - Mr. Director will take courses X & Y by x/xx/xxxx - Get all parties signed ... send these to your lawyer for safe keeping...

Best of luck - and fight for your rights and treatment - Abusers are by nature Woozies - Cowards - and Sheep ... when confronted by a loin they try to act tuff but will back down quickly..

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by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to Been there - Only a VP wa ...

But was it worth all the heart ache and hassles to stay there in the meantime?


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Yep - it is a good place to work

by SkipperUSN In reply to True

Yes - it is a very good place to work - good benefits - above areas salaries - good people ... all in all - it was worth the battle ... but it was said to see great talent walk out the door. We could be doing so much more right now. :)

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Maybe this URL might come in handy

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to Yep - it is a good place ...

I just got it a few minutes ago and instantly thought of this thread.

While on the funny side it can also be all to close to the bone in the wrong hands where a manager doesn't have any people skills and relies on their position to gain respect rather than earning it the correct way.


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