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Rabbits

By john.a.wills ·
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The CIA, the FBI and the LAPD are each asked to prove their capability at apprehending terrorists. President Bush releases a white rabbit into a forest and tells each agency to catch it.

The CIA goes first. It sends animal informants into the forest. They question all plant and material
witnesses. After three months of intensive investigations the CIA concludes rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads it bombs the forest, killing everything, including the rabbit. It makes no apologies; the rabbit had it coming, it insists.
The LAPD go in. They come out after just two hours with a badly beaten bear. The bear is sobbing, "OK, OK, I'm a rabbit, I'm a rabbit."
John Howard hears about George Jnr's idea and decides to test Australian law enforcement agencies. He releases a white rabbit into the Stromlo Forest, near Canberra.
The National Crime Authority can't catch it but promises that if it gets a budget increase it can
recover $90 million in unpaid rabbit taxes and proceeds of crime.
The Victorian police go in. They're gone only 15 minutes, returning with a koala, a kangaroo and a tree fern, all three shot to pieces. "They looked like dangerous rabbits and we acted in self-defence," they explain.
The NSW police go in. Surveillance tapes later reveal top-ranking officers and rabbits dancing around a gum tree stoned out of their minds.
The Queensland police go in. They reappear driving a brand new Mercedes, scantily clad bunnies
draped all over them.
The WA police actually catch the white rabbit, but it inexplicably hangs itself when the attending
officer "slipped out momentarily" for a cup of tea.
The SA and NT police join forces and beat the inside out of every rabbit in the forest, except the white one. They know it is only the black ones who cause all the trouble.
The Australian Federal Police refuse to go in. It examines the issues, particularly cost, and decides that because of low priority, high overtime and the projected expense to the AFP as a whole, the matter should be returned to the referring authority for further analysis.
ASIO goes into the wrong forest


Two questions: Where did I find this?
and What is ASIO?

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Hm...

by AnsuGisalas In reply to Rabbits

You find it on www.asio.gov.au/Publications/Report-to-Parliament/2010-to-2011.html
.
.
.
Sorry, that was a typo, I meant to say that you didn't find it there
That report is confidential, after all.

I could only trace it back to 2002: www.the-burtons.com/Jokes/2002_jokes/joke_of_the_week_for_week_ending_August_2_2002.htm

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The Burtons and I

by john.a.wills In reply to Hm...

obviously have the same ultimate source, but our wording is slightly different here and there, so I didn't copy/paste it from them. I have the story in a Word file dated 2003.10.26, located in a folder by the name of Poetry, although this is not a poem. I have no memory of putting it there. Had Julian perhaps posted it on TR?

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There's a shorter version here

by seanferd In reply to The Burtons and I

http://www.techrepublic.com/forum/discussions/8-200777-2095117

Maybe you looked up other sources after reading it?
https://encrypted.google.com/search?q="Bush+releases+a+white+rabbit+"

Here's the first one I pulled up with the same text as yours:
http://media-empire.net/spam/e-Spam.php?intSpamID=164

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You are kidding

by Michael Jay In reply to Rabbits

but I think Alice knows all about it.

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Well I'll address your other question

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to Rabbits

ASIO is a Oxymoron and actually stands for

Australian Security Intelligence Organization.

As if it's possible to get any Security or Intelligence in any Organization setup by the Australian Federal Government. :^0

OH and the other thing the Stromlo Forrest had a Bush Fire which caused extensive fire damage to Cantberra as well as destroying the Stromlo Observatory.

It's quite possible that the Police Forces who entered it looking for the "White Rabbit" where responsible for the Forest Fire which they hoped to destroy Cantberra. ASIO is still investigating.

Edited to add Late Breaking News after a prolonged Investigation by the Murdoch Press it can now be reported that the White Rabbit released by John Howard into the Stromlo Forrest has infiltrated the Federal Liberal Party and is now the Alternative Prime Minister of Australia. Instead of White Rabbit the Rabbit now prefers to be known as Tony Rabbit. After all it's not possible to live in a burnt out forrest forever. :0

Col

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...

by AnsuGisalas In reply to Well I'll address your ot ...

ASIO is still investigating how to get "Cranberry Stroh Rum for rest".
They figure, once they have that, they'll wrap up the case pretty quick.

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Tony Rabbit?

by .Martin. In reply to Well I'll address your ot ...

Now that DOES explain a lot of things...

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Well what can I say????????????????????

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to Tony Rabbit?

He has been called that several times now and as the Big Bad Rabbit that he is we need to be careful or he might send his Attack Bunnies to get us. :^0

Being the Head Rarbit, Godfather of all Rarbits and so on we have to be extremely careful of him or if we upset him he may burst into tears and the crying will keep us all awake at night.

Right now I'm beginning to like the Italians a lot. They appoint a new Cabinet without a single politician in it. Sounds so much better than having Pollies in every thing relating to Politics.

But I loved the coverage of the Taiwan Parliament today that Anthrax Powder that was spread around made the place look interesting. Much better than the Naughty Little Badly Behaved Children that we have here.

I just want the Speaker in the House of Reps to Open Question time by holding up a Large Large Caliber Pistol and say "This is my friend and as I'm an extremely bad shot the first person who annoys me will find out just how inaccurate my shooting actually is. I would advise those around the person that I attempt to shoot to take cover as I'm very unlikely to hit the person I'm aiming for and am likely to get 3 or 4 around them. OH and BTW the By Election/s to replace those that I shoot will be at my Pleasure and that could be a very long time coming." :^0 :^0

I just wonder who would be the first to butin unwelcome and just how quite Question Time would actually be. Personally I think there would be a bee line for the nearest door and dead quite in the process. A massive improvement if you ask me.

Col

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Head Rarbit

by seanferd In reply to Well what can I say?????? ...

Does that make him the Godfather of the Welsh Rarbit, too? :^0

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Works for me

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to Head Rarbit

However as he's had some bad news today we best not start him crying as he'll never stop.

Seems that he's lost one vote for his side with the Speaker of the House Resigning and someone from his side taking the position. Apparently his Party can treat it's member like _**** and still expect them to do as they are told. But now one of his crowd who has major issues with his party has taken on the position of Speaker and that not only gives the other side an extra Vote but removes one from him. Numbers have gone from being in Opposition by 1 Vote to now being in opposition by 3 votes with the person being speaker not having anything but a casting vote in the event of a Tie.

I loved the expressions on Tony Rarbit's face when he realized he'd been rolled. :^0

Tony Rarbit is accused of being the Father of the Ware Rarbit who goes sucking the life out of everything. However even the Ware Rarbit is much better behaved that it's father so he's a complete Lost Cause.

Even for a Polly he's bad.

Col

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