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Rantings of a sane madman

By jdclyde ·
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Life during a divorce - a work in progress

by jdclyde In reply to Rantings of a sane madman

Here it is, Tuesday morning and computer is giving me crap. Couldn't
connect to the network, but just as I was about to shut it down to
replace the NIC, my connection came live. I hate when things just start
and stop and then start again.
Ex stopped by last night to borrow Mac and Cheese to feed the boys.
(how pathetic) Just starting her week taking care of them and she is
already borrowing food. This is going to be an interesting week.
Still haven't heard back from my lawyer about how to fill out the
friend of the court papers, but I think I already know what I will do.
Just be as accurate as I can.<br />
<br />
Most of the divorce is in the discussion forum as I need the advice,
support and feedback more than I need to get it off my chest. Can
be found here.<br />
<br />
http://techrepublic.com.com/5208-6230-0.html?PromoFeature=discussion&PromoByPassed=1&forumID=8&threadID=169818<br />
<br />
Feel free to pop over. If you have anything to add, it is open to
all who have positive advice on how to get through this with as little
collateral damage to my twin boys as possible.<br />

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Tuesday, first blog attempt

by jdclyde In reply to Life during a divorce - a ...

<b>Heard back from lawyer </b>and he said to put everything down like it happened so that is what I will do.

Will have that all filled out this evening and get it mailed out.

Going to talk to EX about going in to lawyers to write up an agreement to see if we can get this over with. I can't wait for October to just START going to court. That would just drive me nuts! Need to scrape off, once and for all.

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Tuesday, first blog attempt

by jdclyde In reply to Life during a divorce - a ...

<p> Second long weekend with the boys in a row.  \I am glad that it is
inconvenent for her to have them so she will let me hang on to them
more. I know it is just more chance for her to W H O R E around,
but that is no longer my concern (provided

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Life during a divorce - a work in progress

by jdclyde In reply to Life during a divorce - a ...

Is answering the phone for her like she does to me childish?<br />
<br />
Thanks to that darn caller ID, when I have to call the EX, she always
answers "What?".  Not hello, hi or anything even remotely
curtious.  Well after a month of this, I started to do the
same.  I also make every answer I can a yes or a no and then just
sit there in silence.  I don't want her thinking I am still
wanting her in my life in ANY way, but on the other hand I don't want
her pissed and looking to "get me" before the divorce is settled. 
Four more months of ****, provided she doesn't try any games on me. <br />
<br />
She still ends up calling me three to four times as much as I call her
and when I call her it is ALWAYS about the boys, or so I CAN talk to
the boys when they are at the love shack.<br />
<br />
She is starting to ask computer questions again.  I have no
intention of supporting her computer in any way shape or form.  If
the boys need to work on a computer they can come home and do it. 
If she NEEDS to work on a computer she can go use the school
computers.  No sweat off my sack.  The other thing I HATE is
she is calling to just chat.  Sorry, but I don't give a rats ***
about how your day at work went.  No I don't want to hear about
what you did working in the yard at the love shack.  No, I don't
care if you couldn't get the riding lawnmower to start that you took
when you left leaving me with the push mower.  No I don't care
about the spyware you picked up or how many people zonealarm blocks out
daily on your cable modem.  I just don't want to hear it.  I
don't want to hear her voice, I don't want to see her face.  I
want to be free to move on with what is left of my life, which may be a
challenge at my ripe old age.  <br />
<br />
Not exactly a lot of women breaking down the doors for a middle aged
(almost) man who is divorced and has two kids.  They want the
romance novel to come to life and I don't know if I could ever be that
man.  I know I don't have the hair for it anymore.  :
<    Then there is the issue of how to find someone I
would have anything in common with.  Sure not going to happen in
the bar.  More about the woman search later.<br />
<br />
<br />

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Life during a divorce - a work in progress

by jdclyde In reply to Life during a divorce - a ...

Came face to face with the option to date friday, and just didn't like
what was presented.  Went with a bud for my Bday out "to shoot
some pool" I had said.  Next thing I know he is stopping in at
meat market bars.  Just wasn't my scene at all.<br />
<br />
I am not sure where he got the idea all I was looking for was someone
to jump on, but it took a while to get him back on track.  Meat
market bars, what would I have in common with most people there? 
Not looking for a fast lane love life, even if I was done with the
divorce.  Not looking for marriage right away, but one nice person
to be with would be nice.  Someone who would understand I could
only see them every other week, as I only have a few more years of my
boys being home and will not give that up for anyone.  Is that
something women would go for?<br />
<br />
I also would need to keep them separate for a while until I knew if
that person was going to stay around for a while.  I don't want
the boys to have "aunt X" changing out all the time.  Will have to
be a keeper.<br />
<br />
How do you look for a companion?  Can you really make a shopping
list of likes and dislikes and find someone to fit the order?  If
it would only work that way.  I guess I will just have to find
someone who can put up with my flaws as easily as I can put up with
hers.<br />
<br />
Right off the bat, they can't want kids of their own.  Something I
can't give anyone again and would understand if that was a deal
breaker.  My kids are the greatest thing ever, so how could I
deprive someone else that same joy?<br />
<br />
Wow, sitting here I can't even think of anything that would be a deal
breaker for me, accept for maybe being a crack head or something. 
Got to be active, as I have no intention of turning into a couch potato.<br />
<br />
She also can NOT be jelous or controlling.  I know after putting
up with that for a long time, never again.  Mutual respect would
be much better.  Can't interfere with my weekly golfing with my
bud and my boys.  If they golf, they could go with me at other
times.  not looking to stop doing the few things I still get to do
with my friends, which isn't much and shouldn't be asking too much out
of someone.<br />
<br />
Likes computers would be a real plus.  Someone smarter than me
would be GREAT.  Not looking for someone to walk three paces
behind me, but right at my side.  Someone who would stand next to
me as an equal.<br />
<br />
Oh yeah, please god let them her like south park and rock-n-roll!<br />
<br />
Now how do you find that?  Maybe if I borrow my godson and hang
out at the mall.  Nah, as I am not real smooth and good with the
small talk, and pickup lines just are too fake for me to respectably
try.<br />
<br />
Maybe some retired folks at bingo would talk to me......<br />
<br />

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Life during a divorce - a work in progress

by jdclyde In reply to Life during a divorce - a ...

Dug out my old fishing poles from about 30 years ago that I used
ONCE.  Will be putting new line on them and let my boys keep them at
their <em>female parental units love shack</em> so they can fish whenever they
want without having to carry the good rods I just bought them back and
fourth and run the chance of forgetting them up there sometime when I
will be taking them out.

The older of the boys is REALLY getting into this.  He is reading
about it all the time and at the ripe old age of 13 already knows more about fishing that I ever
have and has even offered to teach me how to tie the knot!  He is
so funny.<br />
<br />
The younger of the twins likes to fish, but doesn't love it. 
Likes golf but doesn't love it.  Working on him.  If it was
his choice we would stay home and play video games instead of
fish.  Working to get them both out of the house.<br />
<br />
Suppose to be 90 degrees (F) today!  Time to go to grandmas house to swim!<br />

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Life during a divorce - a work in progress

by jdclyde In reply to Life during a divorce - a ...

Well, 10:50 pm and it has been another long day.<br />
<br />
worked, then came home and got laundry going, cooked dinner and got the
lawn mowed. About to go chew on some advil as the back is aching
again. Now I have about an hours worth of folding and cleaning to
do before I can try to relax for a little bit to get some sleep.
Oh yeah, got to study for mid-term that is tomorrow. Should get
another five hour night. If it is a slow day I can sometimes take
a nap instead of getting lunch.<br />
<br />
Got my vodka and pink lemonaid, so I am happy. Life is good.<br />
<br />
Getting ready to do ItGirlis' favorite thing in the whole world.
Sort and fold socks. And to make matters worse, the boys socks
are ALMOST the same size mine are so you have to look REAL close!
More than once I have got a sock half on and have to go get another
pair. I need to just buy myself new socks every week so I don't
have to sort them. <br />
<br />
Tomorrow I find out if the EX is going to fork over her half of the
money for the boys to go to camp.  She said it would be this week,
but then again she says a lot.  I hope she does because I just
found out that MOST of the boys shorts do not fit anymore so they need
cloths for not only summer but for camp THIS WEEKEND.<br />
<br />
Just my luck.  If it isn't one thing, it is two.<br />
<br />

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Life during a divorce - a work in progress

by jdclyde In reply to Life during a divorce - a ...

Wednesday Morning and the rain stopped.  Glad I got the lawn mowed last night!<br />
<br />
Slept like crap last night, and only got about four hours sleep. 
My midterm should be lots of fun in this condition.  Laid there
looking at the ceiling until after 2 am, and then was woke up at 3 am
when a raging storm blew in.  After getting up to close the
windows I saw it had woke the boys so I went in and talked to them for
a few minutes, and then went back to sleep.  I can see having to
go see the doc to get something to help me sleep.  Just not the
anti-depressents.  <br />
<br />
Going over the list for getting the boys ready to go to camp for a
week.  Will have to go shopping either tonight depending on how
late class goes or tomorrow after work.<br />
<br />
Still no word on if the EX is going to help pay for camp yet.  She is suppose to call me "later".<br />
<br />
After things get rolling again and the divorce is final, it will be
much less stressful to just pay it and not deal with her.  I hate
calling her for money because she tries to make it sound like she is
doing ME a favor by HER coming up with half the money for the boys to
do stuff.<br />
<br />
She will be in for a rude awakening when it is time to go school cloths
shopping.  I will not be going in with her and getting them a set
of cloths.  I will be buying a set that stays at my house, and she
will get the joy of furnishing whatever is to be at the love shack.<br />
<br />
The boys are starting to notice girls.  Took them shopping so they
could pick their own deoderant and cologne and they both picked out
that new "AXE" brand.  That is the brand where on TV you have a
guy wearing it and he gets attacked by all the women around him. 
Who says advertising doesn't work?  Also had to talk to "Thing
Two" about going to "inapropreate" web sites.  Tried to explain
that is a disrespectful way to think of women.  You don't treat
girlfriends and wives like that.  ( That is what they invented
mistresses for! ) <br />
Will have to take them out one-on-one and have THE TALK this week.<br />
<br />
The bad thing about the internet is it isn't like the good old days of
a friend swiping his dads playboy and looking at the girlie
pictures.  They never showed gangbangs, ****, and one of the
sickest legal things I have heard of "water sports".  If it was
artistic pictures of beautiful women I wouldn't be overly concerned
about it.  This other stuff is just not fit for viewing (by them)
and will be sure to give them a bad attitude towards sex objects ( I
mean WOMEN )..<br />

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Life during a divorce - a work in progress

by jdclyde In reply to Life during a divorce - a ...

Getting ready for the boys to go to band camp this weekend.  They
go Sunday and I get them back on Saturday.  The only highlight is
this is during the EX's week to have them, so I wouldn't have seen them
anyways.  Still will miss calling and telling them goodnight
though.  <br />
<br />
I almost made a big mistake, but stopped myself in time.  I ALMOST
asked the EX if she wanted to ride with us to take the boys to camp but
at the last second I remembered that would leave us alone for the two
hour ride home and I just don't know of good places to hide the body in
that direction as I know I wouldn't be able to stand her mouth or her
smoking for that long.  That was a near miss.<br />
<br />
Had to get cloths for the boys, and of course their mother didn't help
out at all.  It will be a grim suprise when school comes around
and the cloths I buy for the boys will stay at my house.  She will
have to buy her own set for them.<br />
<br />
Over two months since she moved into the love shack and the boys still
don't even have beds yet.  They have to sleep on the couch when
they are stuck out there!  They are SICK of hamburger helper when
they come home too.  That and Macarroni and Cheese are the two
things they live on when they are there.  Nice.<br />
<br />
We have been grilling out most nights.  Lots of chicken and
brats!  Wanted to do steak the other day but didn't like the cuts
that were left.  Nice day so they had sold out of most everything
worth getting and I wasn't getting a nasty denver steak.  A nice
NY strip or a porterhouse!  THAT is a steak!  Damn, now I'm
getting hungry!  I wonder what they have in the vending machine?<br />

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Life during a divorce - a work in progress

by jdclyde In reply to Life during a divorce - a ...

Getting ready for the boys to go to band camp this weekend.  They
go Sunday and I get them back on Saturday.  The only highlight is
this is during the EX's week to have them, so I wouldn't have seen them
anyways.  Still will miss calling and telling them goodnight
though.  <br />
<br />
I almost made a big mistake, but stopped myself in time.  I ALMOST
asked the EX if she wanted to ride with us to take the boys to camp but
at the last second I remembered that would leave us alone for the two
hour ride home and I just don't know of good places to hide the body in
that direction as I know I wouldn't be able to stand her mouth or her
smoking for that long.  That was a near miss.<br />
<br />
Had to get cloths for the boys, and of course their mother didn't help
out at all.  It will be a grim suprise when school comes around
and the cloths I buy for the boys will stay at my house.  She will
have to buy her own set for them.<br />
<br />
Over two months since she moved into the love shack and the boys still
don't even have beds yet.  They have to sleep on the couch when
they are stuck out there!  They are SICK of hamburger helper when
they come home too.  That and Macarroni and Cheese are the two
things they live on when they are there.  Nice.<br />
<br />
We have been grilling out most nights.  Lots of chicken and
brats!  Wanted to do steak the other day but didn't like the cuts
that were left.  Nice day so they had sold out of most everything
worth getting and I wasn't getting a nasty denver steak.  A nice
NY strip or a porterhouse!  THAT is a steak!  Damn, now I'm
getting hungry!  I wonder what they have in the vending machine?<br />

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