Okay,
Let's start by opening up device manager.
Right click on the My Computer Icon,
Select Properties.
Click on the hardware tab,
Then click on Device Manager.
I suspect you will see a number of devices including your optical drive with a yellow ? next to them.
The first thing to try to get your DVD drive to work is to remove the drive and it's controller from Device Manager.
Right click on the drive and select remove.
Same for the IDE adapter. (If it has a yellow ? or !)
Close Device manager.
Restart Windows.
As Windows boots up, it should find new hardware and attempt to install drivers.
Allow Windows to install the default drivers.
You may need to boot up again. But, you should now be able to access your DVD drive and install the device specific drivers you need.
One side note: Do NOT install the DOS mode driver for your DVD drive. You do not need it for XP, and it can cause Windows to not be able to install the correct driver for the DVD drive.
If you still have problems accessing the DVD drive, or it did not show up with a yellow ? in device manager, then you have a connection or hardware problem.
Check the cable to the DVD drive. At both ends. Make sure it is fully seated in the correct orientation, and that there are no bent pins.
Check the jumpers on the drive and make sure they are set correctly.
If this is an IDE drive, some motherboards do not like having an optical drive as the primary master drive. Make sure that the drive is set to slave by the jumper. And, make sure you are not on the master connector of a cable select style IDE cable.
Post back if you need more assistance.
Chas