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Setting up second email domain & dns

By fliss ·
We are a company called abc, we have the domain abc.com and internet and email is working fine.
We have a new company and bought the domain xyz.co.uk
I added the new domain name as per http://seanda.blogspot.com/2004/10/hosting-multiple-domains-on-sbs-2003.html which wentwell, and i could send internal to internal, and internal to external but NOT external to internal.
MX records i thought, so i went to hostexcellence and pointed the MX record xyz.co.uk to servername.abc.com - which is also my fqdn in the default virtual smtp server settings.

I waited 2 days and it failed -a dns tester on the internet said it couldnt resolve an IP address to that hostname. I went back on the live chat (thinking it must be something easy and small) they said it was a subdomain and would never work and said i should put in the external IP address of the server. So i did, waited for propergation and tested again, then it said bogus ip address and it needed a hostname. so back on the live chat (round and round we go) and i asked them if i should use the the same settings as abc email, because mail.abct.com resolves to our external ip address of server, i waited and again it failed this time a 550 relay error. so back on the live chat - he was telling me that what i am trying to do is impossible and i should buy mail boxes with the hoster of abc.com??? I am sure this is not true and cant be as hard and as frustrating as it seems.
I am pretty sure that the server is set up correctly (using the link) but cant set up an MX record and if i could where does the MX record point to? where do i get the name? from my server? is it mail.abc.com and of so how do i accept the relayed email and if it is server.abc.com how and where do i get this name pointing to my server external IP.
I know this isnt difficult so please may you help or advise me in some way of what to research next.

Many Thanks in Advance

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