As I go through the cleansing process for my cousin’s laptop- overrun with a legion of malware and other undesired programs and apps, these are the thoughts that recur.
Answers to 3 age-old riddles:
“How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?”
A woodchuck would chuck what a woodchuck could if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
or more accurately
A woodchuck would chuck what a woodchuck would if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
“What came first, the chicken or the egg?”
If you are a creationist, ask your creator. For everyone else, the egg.
“If a tree falls in a forest, and there’s no one around to hear it, does it make a sound?”
Only if it makes a sound when someone’s around to hear it.
Several new malware categories:
Hydraware- malware that recreates parts of itself x times as fast as they can be destroyed.
Tantrumware- malware that causes a blue screen or other serious errors if it is displeased.
Psychopathware- malware that always returns, no matter many times you think you killed it.
Rogueware- malware that attempts to convince you that you are in danger. You are in danger- if you allow them to trick you.
And my personal least favorite:
Baitware- any software (legitimate or otherwise) that has a free version with none of the attributes of the full version, thus forcing you to buy the full version to get decent software.
