General discussion

  • Creator
    Topic
  • #2158557

    [u][b]ATTENTION GOLFERS[/u][/b] It’s Friday Yuk Time

    Locked

    by sleepin’dawg ·

    [i]A sign at a Scottsdale, Arizona Golf Club[/i]

    1. Keep Your Back Straight, Knees Bent & Feet Shoulder-Width Apart.
    2. Form a Loose Grip.
    3. Keep Your Head Down.
    4. Avoid a Quick Backswing.
    5. Stay Out of the Water.
    6. Try Not to Hit Anyone.
    7. If You are Taking Too Long, Let Others Go Ahead of You.
    8. Don’t Stand Directly in Front of Others.
    9. Quiet Please… While Others are Preparing.
    10. Don’t Take Extra Strokes.
    11. Waggling it more than twice will count as strokes and will mean you’re playing with it

    WELL DONE! NOW FLUSH THE URINAL & GO PLAY GOLF.

    [i][b]Dawg[/i][/b] ]:)

All Comments

  • Author
    Replies
    • #2937016

      Recycling???

      by sleepin’dawg ·

      In reply to [u][b]ATTENTION GOLFERS[/u][/b] It’s Friday Yuk Time

      A wife arrived home from a shopping trip and was shocked to find
      her husband in bed with a lovely young woman. Just as she was
      about to storm out of the house, her husband called out “Perhaps
      you should hear how all this came about…”

      “I was driving home on the highway when I saw this young woman
      looking tired and bedraggled. I brought her home and made her a
      meal from the roast beef you had forgotten about in the fridge.

      She was bare-footed so I gave her your good sandals which you had
      discarded because they had gone out of style.

      She was cold so I gave her the sweater which I bought for you for
      your birthday but you never wore because the color didn’t suit
      you.

      Her pants were torn, so I gave her a pair of your jeans, which
      were perfectly good, but too small for you now.

      Then just as she was about to leave, she asked, ‘Is there
      anything else your wife doesn’t use anymore ?'”

    • #2937015

      A shaggy dog story

      by sleepin’dawg ·

      In reply to [u][b]ATTENTION GOLFERS[/u][/b] It’s Friday Yuk Time

      Apparently this woman’s miniature schnauzer had an infection in
      its ear. The vet told her that it was due to an ingrown hair and
      that the best treatment would be to remove the hair with a
      depilatory cream.

      The women went to a drug store and asked the druggist for
      assistance in selecting an appropriate product.

      He went on about how some were better for use on legs and how
      some were gentler and better for removing facial hair.

      He then said, “May I ask where you intend to use this?”

      She replied, “Well, it’s for my schnauzer.”

      He said “Okay, but you shouldn’t ride a bike for two weeks.”

    • #2937014

      A Lovely Tie

      by sleepin’dawg ·

      In reply to [u][b]ATTENTION GOLFERS[/u][/b] It’s Friday Yuk Time

      A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghanistan
      desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he
      walked toward the object, only to find a little old Jewish man sitting at a card
      table with neckties laid out on it.

      The Arab asked, “My thirst is killing me. Do you have water?”

      The Jewish man replied, “I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie? They are
      only $150. This one goes very nicely with your robes.”

      The Arab shouted, “Idiot! I do not need an overpriced tie. I need water!”

      “OK,” said the old Jew, “it does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie. I
      will show you that you have not offended me. If you walk over that hill to the
      east for about two miles, you will find a lovely restaurant. Go! Walk that way!
      The restaurant has all the water you need.”

      The Arab staggered away toward the hill and eventually disappeared.
      Four hours later the Arab came crawling back to where the Jewish man was sitting
      at his table.

      The Jew said, “I told you, about two miles over that hill. Could you not find
      it?”

      “I found it all right,” rasped the Arab. “Bastards wouldn’t let me in without a
      tie.”

    • #2937001

      ****ing Women Drivers

      by the scummy one ·

      In reply to [u][b]ATTENTION GOLFERS[/u][/b] It’s Friday Yuk Time

      This morning on the Interstate, I looked over to my
      left and there was a woman in a brand new Cadillac
      doing 65 mph with her face up next to her rear view
      mirror putting on her eye liner.

      I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back
      she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that
      makeup.

      As a man, I don’t scare easily. But she scared me so much, I dropped
      my electric shaver which knocked the donut out of my other hand. In all the
      confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees against the
      steering wheel, It knocked my cell phone away from my ear which fell into
      the coffee between my legs, splashed and burned Big Jim and the twins,
      ruined the damn phone, soaked my trousers, and disconnected an
      important call.

      *!#@ women drivers!!!

    • #2936999

      Next time — clean your screen!

      by the scummy one ·

      In reply to [u][b]ATTENTION GOLFERS[/u][/b] It’s Friday Yuk Time

      This is something that I know you will need to do! You have all the needed equipment!!

      Must be opened from a desktop and not a blackberry.

      I know you don’t clean your computer screen very often and it is
      hard to do the inside, so here is my present to you.
      http://www.raincitystory.com/flash/screenclean.swf

      • #2936938

        Damn!!! That’s a [b][u]really[/u][/b] good one!!! I’m saving it.

        by sleepin’dawg ·

        In reply to Next time — clean your screen!

        It ranks right up there with : http://piv.pivpiv.dk/
        It’s so good I’m saving it with a minor modification or two.

        [i][b][u]Next – clean your screen! Very Important!!![/i][/b][/u]

        [i][b]This is something that I know you need to do! You have all the necessary ability to do this!!!
        I know you don’t clean your computer screen very often and it is
        hard to do the inside, so here is a little utility program for you to run.

        It will only takes a moment or two, so be patient, it’s really worth the effort.
        It’s really quite simple; all that is required is for you to click on the following link.

        http://www.raincitystory.com/flash/screenclean.swf%5B/i%5D%5B/b%5D

        I’ll be burning a few with this one from time to time. Thank’s Scummy!!!

        [i][b]Dawg[/i][/b] ]:)

      • #2936782

        any way to set this as a desktop wallpaper?

        by slayer_ ·

        In reply to Next time — clean your screen!

        I tried writing some HTML code for it, using both the old and new methods, neither worked, any suggestions?

        • #2938107

          I would try…

          by pringles86 ·

          In reply to any way to set this as a desktop wallpaper?

          Using photoshop or another program to convert it to an animated gif, then set the animated gif as the background. I haven’t tried it though…

        • #2938093

          Yeah I tried it

          by slayer_ ·

          In reply to I would try…

          Funny my old 300mhz machine can do it find, but on this AMD duel core 2.4ghz machine, the GIF barely plays at all…. The world just doesn’t make sense anymore :(.

          I was a little tempted to make it into a screensavor by braking down the images as you say, loading them all up into memory and blitting them to the screen, but seems like a lot of work for something I am sure someone has already done.

        • #2938077

          hm….

          by —tk— ·

          In reply to Yeah I tried it

          google “camstudio” <- free desktop recorder, which will turn it into an .avi, then convert the .avi to wmv... and use dreamscene.... presto 🙂

        • #2938065

          be so much easier if

          by slayer_ ·

          In reply to hm….

          Active desktop still worked the same as it did in 9x, 9x active desktop accepted flash files in the HTML code no problem :(.

          I suspect it ignores all object code.

          Hmm, I wonder how deep it knows to block said code, wonder if the Iframe would work to another page that has the object code…
          OK have to try this 🙂

        • #2938061

          lol for you….

          by —tk— ·

          In reply to be so much easier if

          LOL… HTML and I don’t get along… I would rather do a couple file conversions 🙂

    • #2936943

      2 old-maid sisters

      by sleepin’dawg ·

      In reply to [u][b]ATTENTION GOLFERS[/u][/b] It’s Friday Yuk Time

      There were 2 old-maid sisters, both virgins. One Friday night
      Gladys looks at Betty and says, “I’m not going to die a virgin.
      I’m going out and I’m not coming home ’til I’ve been laid!!”

      Betty says, “Well, make sure you’re home by 10 so I don’t worry
      about you.”

      10 o’clock rolls around and there’s no sign of Gladys… 11
      o’clock…12 o’clock…

      Finally about 1:30AM the front door flies open. In runs Gladys…
      straight to the bathroom.

      Betty goes and knocks on the door, “Are you okay, Gladys??”

      No answer, so she opens the door and there sits Gladys with her
      panties around her ankles, legs spread, and her head stuck
      between her legs looking at herself.

      “What is it, Gladys??? What’s wrong?” asks Betty.

      “Oh Betty, it was 10 inches long when it went in… and 5 when it
      came out. When I find the other half you’re gonna have the time
      of your life!!!”

      [i][b]Dawg[/i][/b] ]:)

    • #2936941

      Arthritis

      by sleepin’dawg ·

      In reply to [u][b]ATTENTION GOLFERS[/u][/b] It’s Friday Yuk Time

      A man smelling like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next
      to a priest.

      The man’s tie was stained, his face was plastered with red
      lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his
      torn coat pocket.

      He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes
      the disheveled guy turned to the priest and asked,

      “Say, Father, what causes arthritis?”

      “Mister, it’s caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked
      women, too much alcohol and a contempt for your fellow man.”

      “Well, I’ll be damned,” the drunk muttered, returning to his
      paper.

      The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and
      apologized.

      “I’m very sorry. I didn’t mean to come on so strong. How long
      have you had arthritis?”

      “Don’t worry Father; I don’t have it. I was just reading here that the Pope
      does.”

    • #2936935

      ZEN THOUGHTS FOR THOSE WHO TAKE LIFE TOO SERIOUSLY!!!

      by sleepin’dawg ·

      In reply to [u][b]ATTENTION GOLFERS[/u][/b] It’s Friday Yuk Time

      1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
      2 A day without sunshine is like — night.
      3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
      4. I just got lost in thought. It wasn’t familiar territory.
      5. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
      6. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
      7. I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
      8. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
      9. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
      10. He who laughs last, didn’t get the joke.
      11. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
      12. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
      in the trap.
      13. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
      14. Support bacteria. They’re the only culture some people have.
      15. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week.
      16. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
      17. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
      18. Get a new car for your spouse. It’ll be a great trade!
      19. Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
      20. Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
      21 If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
      22. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand…
      23. OK, so what’s the speed of dark?
      24. How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?
      25. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked
      something.
      26. When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
      27. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
      28. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film.
      29. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
      30. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
      31. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
      32. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
      33. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
      34. I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
      35. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
      36. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.
      37. Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright
      until you hear them speak.

    • #2936798

      Why our medical bills are so high?

      by ksoniat ·

      In reply to [u][b]ATTENTION GOLFERS[/u][/b] It’s Friday Yuk Time

      A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest.

      After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, “I’m sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away.”

      The distressed woman wailed, “Are you sure?”

      “Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead,” replied the vet.

      “How can you be so sure?” she protested. “I mean you haven’t done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something.”

      The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room.

      He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck’s owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

      The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room.

      A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

      The vet looked at the woman and said, “I’m sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck.”

      The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck’s owner, s till in shock, took the bill. “$150!” she cried, “$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!”

      The vet shrugged, “I’m sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it’s now $150.”

    • #2936771

      PC Genders

      by maevinn ·

      In reply to [u][b]ATTENTION GOLFERS[/u][/b] It’s Friday Yuk Time

      WOMEN

      1. A woman is not a ‘BABE’ or a ‘CHICK’ – She is a ‘ BREASTED AMERICAN.’

      2. She is not ‘EASY’ – She is ‘HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.’

      3. She is not a ‘DUMB BLONDE’ – She is a ‘LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.’

      4. She has not ‘BEEN AROUND’ – She is a ‘PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.’

      5. She does not ‘NAG’ you – She becomes ‘ VERBALLY REPETITIVE.’

      6. She is not a ‘TWO-BIT HOOKER’ – She is a ‘ LOW COST SEX PROVIDER.’

      MEN

      1. A man does not have a ‘BEER GUT’ – He has developed a ‘LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.’

      2. He is not a ‘BAD DANCER’ – He is ‘ OVERLY CAUCASIAN.’

      3. He does not ‘GET LOST ALL THE TIME’ – He

      INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.’

      4. He is not ‘BALDING’ – He is in ‘FOLLICULAR REGRESSION.’

      5. He does not act like a ‘TOTAL ASS’ – He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.’

      6. It’s not his ‘CRACK’ you see hanging out of his pants – It’s ‘REAR CLEAVAGE.’

      • #2936764

        :^0 :^0 :^0 — ROFLMAO

        by the scummy one ·

        In reply to PC Genders

        This was great

        • #2936761

          Glad you enjoyed!

          by maevinn ·

          In reply to :^0 :^0 :^0 — ROFLMAO

          Sincerely,
          your neighborhood light-haired detour off the superhigway breasted American.

    • #2938082

      Wedding Prank

      by dadspad ·

      In reply to [u][b]ATTENTION GOLFERS[/u][/b] It’s Friday Yuk Time

      The wedding date was set and the groom’s three pals – a carpenter, an electrician and a dentist were deciding what pranks to play on the couple on their wedding night.

      The carpenter figured sawing the slats of their bed would give them a chuckle or two.

      The electrician decided to wire the bed – with alternating current, of course.

      The dentist wouldn’t commit himself, but wore a sly grin and promised it would be memorable.

      The nuptials went as planned and a few days later, each of the groom’s buddies received the following note from the groom.

      DEAR FRIENDS,
      WE DIDN’T MIND THE BED SLATS BEING SAWED.
      THE ELECTRIC SHOCK WAS ONLY A MINOR SETBACK.

      BUT I SWEAR BY GOD ALMIGHTY, I’M GOING TO KILL WHOEVER PUT NOVOCAINE IN THE K-Y JELLY!”

      • #2938080

        Toliet Paper Miracle

        by dadspad ·

        In reply to Wedding Prank

        Fresh from her shower, the wife stood in front of the mirror complaining to her husband that her breasts were too small.

        Instead of telling her it’s not so, the way he usually did, he uncharacteristically came up with a suggestion. “If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds”

        Willing to try anything, the wife got a piece of toilet paper and stood in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts. “How long will this take?” she asked.

        “They will grow larger over a period of years,” her husband replied.

        She stopped. “Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?”

        Without missing a beat he said, “Worked for your butt, didn’t it?”

        He’s still alive, and with a great deal of therapy he may even walk again, although he will probably continue to take his meals through a straw. Stupid, stupid man.

        • #2938072

          Two Nuns

          by dadspad ·

          In reply to Toliet Paper Miracle

          Two nuns were shopping in a food store and happened to be passing the beer and liquor section.

          One nun asks the other if she would like a beer.

          The other nun answered that would be good, but that she would be queasy about purchasing it.

          The first nun said that she would handle it and picked up a six pack and took it to the cashier.

          The cashier had a surprised look and the first nun said, “This is for washing our hair.”

          The cashier without blinking an eye, reached under the counter and put a package of pretzel sticks in the bag with the beer saying, “Here, don’t forget the curlers.”

      • #2938076

        Ahh — a prank worth

        by the scummy one ·

        In reply to Wedding Prank

        a do-over — again and again 😀
        Now who should I hit with this?

    • #2938062

      THE TALE OF THE ARAB [u][b][i]”FLIGHT CREW”[/u][/b][/i]

      by sleepin’dawg ·

      In reply to [u][b]ATTENTION GOLFERS[/u][/b] It’s Friday Yuk Time

      Written by To The Point News
      Friday, 16 May 2008

      The brand spanking new Airbus 340-600, the largest passenger airplane ever built, sat in its hangar in Toulouse, France without a single hour of airtime. Enter the Arab flight crew of Abu Dhabi Aircraft Technologies (ADAT) to conduct pre-delivery tests on the ground, such as engine runups, prior to delivery to Etihad Airways in Abu Dhabi. The date was November 15, 2007.

      The ADAT crew taxied the A340-600 to the run-up area. Then they took all four engines to takeoff power with a virtually empty aircraft. Not having read the run-up manuals, they had no clue just how light an empty A340-600 really is.

      The takeoff warning horn was blaring away in the cockpit because they had all 4 engines at full power. The aircraft computers thought they were trying to takeoff but it had not been configured properly (flaps/slats, etc.) Then one of the ADAT crew decided to pull the circuit breaker on the Ground Proximity Sensor to silence the alarm.

      This fools the aircraft into thinking it is in the air.

      The computers automatically released all the brakes and set the aircraft rocketing forward. The ADAT crew had no idea that this is a safety feature so that pilots can’t land with the brakes on.

      Not one member of the seven-man Arab crew was smart enough to throttle back the engines from their max power setting, so the $80 million brand-new aircraft crashed into a blast barrier, totaling it.

      The extent of injuries to the crew is unknown, for there has been a news blackout in the major media in France and elsewhere. Coverage of the story was deemed insulting to [b][i]Moslem Arabs[/b][/i]. Finally, the photos are starting to leak out.

      http://www.tothepointnews.com/content/view/3207/85/

      Etihad Airbus Crashes Into Wall During Testing

      http://www.snopes.com/photos/airplane/etihad.asp

      [b][i]LOL!!! :^0 Why am I not surprised by this??? There’s a reason Air France is called “Air Chance” but throw some Arabs into the mix……….??? WOW!!! Now you know why I prefer Boeing’s planes. The history of French aeroplane design and safety is none too clean. :^0 [/b][/i]

      [b][i]Dawg[/b][/i]

    • #2939586

      IF MEN REALLY DID RULE THE WORLD…………. ;)

      by sleepin’dawg ·

      In reply to [u][b]ATTENTION GOLFERS[/u][/b] It’s Friday Yuk Time

      ? Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically
      forward your call to her real number.

      ? Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable
      response to “I love you.”

      ? Hallmark would make “Sorry, what was your name again?” cards.

      ? When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the
      game, she would appear in a little box in the corner of the
      screen during a time-out.

      ? Birth control would come in ale or lager.

      ? Each year, your raise would be pegged to the fortunes of the
      NFL team of your choice.

      ? The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.

      ? “Sorry I’m late, but I got hammered last night” would be an
      acceptable excuse for tardiness.

      ? At the end of the workday, a whistle would blow and you’d jump
      out your window and slide down the tail of a brontosaurus and
      right into your car.

      ? It’d be considered harmless fun to gather 30 friends, put on
      horned helmets, and go pillage a nearby town.

      ? Tanks would be far easier to rent.

      ? Instead of beer belly, you’d get “beer biceps.”

      ? Instead of an expensive engagement ring, you could present your
      wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said, “You’re #1!”

      ? Valentine’s Day would be moved to 29 Feb so it would only occur
      in leap years.

      ? On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow, you’d get the day off
      to go drinking. Mother’s Day, too. St. Patrick’s Day, however,
      would remain exactly the same. But it would be celebrated every
      month.

      ? “Cops” would be broadcast live, and you could phone in advice
      to the pursuing cops. Or to the crooks.

      ? Regis and Kelly would be chained to a cement mixer and pushed
      off the Golden Gate Bridge for the most lucrative pay-per- view
      event in world history.

      ? The only show opposite Monday Night Football would be Monday
      Night Football from a Different Camera Angle.

      ? It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car, as long as
      you returned it the following day with a full tank of gas.

      ? Every man would get four real “Get Out of Jail Free” cards per
      year.

      ? When a cop gave you a ticket, every smart-aleck answer you
      responded with would actually reduce your fine.

      ? The Statue of Liberty would get a bright red, 40-foot thong.

      ? People would never talk about how fresh they felt.

      ? Daisy Duke shorts would never again go out of style.

      ? Telephones would automatically cut off after 30 seconds of
      conversation.

    • #2937557

      Why do women [b][i]ALWAYS[/i][/b] have to have the last word?

      by sleepin’dawg ·

      In reply to [u][b]ATTENTION GOLFERS[/u][/b] It’s Friday Yuk Time

      After a few years of married life, this guy finds that he is
      unable to perform anymore. He goes to see his doctor, and the
      doctor tries a few things but nothing works.

      Finally the doctor says to him “This is all in your mind,” and
      refers him to a psychiatrist.

      After a few visits to the shrink, the shrink confesses, “I am at
      a loss as to how you could possibly be cured.” Finally, as a last
      resort, the psychiatrist refers him to a witch doctor.

      The witch doctor tells him, “I can cure this, no problem,” and he
      throws some powder on a flame. There is a bright flash with
      billowing blue smoke.

      The witch doctor says, “This is a very powerful healing but you
      can only use it once a year! All you have to do is say ‘123’ and
      it shall rise for as long as you wish!”

      “As long as I wish!” says the guy excitedly, so I can make love
      to my wife multiple times?

      “As many times as you desire” says the witch doctor” “When you
      wish it to go down all you have to say is ‘1234’ and it will go
      down. But be warned, it will not work again for a year!”

      The guy can hardly wait to get home and surprise his wife with
      the good news….

      So, he is lying in bed with her and says “123”, and suddenly he
      gets an amazing erection.

      His wife turns over and says . . .

      “What did you say 123 for?”

      [i][b]Dawg[/i][/b] ]:)

    • #2937288

      Men with Badges

      by sleepin’dawg ·

      In reply to [u][b]ATTENTION GOLFERS[/u][/b] It’s Friday Yuk Time

      A task force consisting of a DEA agent, an ATF and an FBI agent arrive at a ranch in western Nebraska.

      The agents tell the rancher, “We need to inspect your ranch for illegal drugs.”

      “Help yourself,” the old rancher says, “but don’t go in that field over there.”

      The DEA agent practically explodes. He whips out has badge, sticks it in the rancher’s face. “Mister, we have the authority of the Federal Government behind us,” he sneers, “and we’ll go anywhere we feel like going. Got it?!”

      “Yes, sir,” the rancher says.

      “Good,” the agent says. “Now you can go about your chores while we go about ours.”

      A few minutes later, the old rancher hears screams and looks up to see the agents in the field he warned them about. All three are running for their lives — close behind is his biggest, meanest bull. With every step the bull is gaining ground on the agents. They are clearly terrified.

      The old rancher immediately throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs…

      “Your badges! Show him your badges!”

Viewing 14 reply threads