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Why Col (HAL 9000) should be given a bed in my mental health unit ( )

By gadgetgirl ·

I have just received this draft paper from within the Trust, from Dr. J. J. Hazoorminanjihaha (MD, PhD, DFCBarCrap) which indicates there is a high probability factor that our Australian colleague is indeed suffering under pressure.

I am sure you will agree with me that our esteemed colleague has been showing these symptoms for some considerable time, to considerable and variable extents.

Should the general consensus of opinion be such that a Section 19 of the MHA be warranted, it can be so authorised, so obtaining the necessary clearance for the above colleagues insertion into the secure unit on this site.

The Draft is as follows:

Preliminary Draft of the DSM-V Committee on Cyber Disorders

The Cyber Disorders section includes disorders that have a dependency upon cyber existence as the predominant feature. The section is divided into three parts. The first part describes e-mail episodes that serve as the building blocks for the disorder diagnoses. The second part describes the Cyber Disorders themselves. The criteria sets for most of the Cyber Disorders require the presence or absence of the e-mail episodes described in the first part of the section. The third part includes the specifiers that describe either the most recent e-mail episode, or the course of recurrent episodes.

The Cyber Disorders are divided into Posting Disorders, Flaming Disorders and CC Disorders. The Posting Disorders (i.e. Lurking Disorder, Chronic Posting Disorder and Posting Disorder not Otherwise Specified) are distinguished from the Flaming Disorders by the fact that there is no history of ever having posted a Flame, or Flame-with-Apology. CC Disorders (CC-All Disorder and Spam Disorder) may include episodes of Chronic Posting, Flames, and/or Flame-With-Apologies but can be distinguished by the number of addressees.

Lurking Disorder is characterized by one or more episodes of lurking (i.e. at least two weeks of lurking or loss of interest in answering mail accompanied by at least four additional symptoms of Lurking including high on-line time balances, walking away from the computer while logged on, composing posts and deleting them without sending them, etc.)

Chronic Posting Disorder is characterized by at least 4 weeks of posting to a newsgroup or listserv more days than not, accompanied by additional Cyber symptoms such as checking mail several times per day, posts in which the content is shorter than the message header or sig, and messages of extreme anxiety when list volume drops.

Posting Disorder not Otherwise Specified is included for coding disorders with posting features that do not meet the criteria for Lurking Disorder or Chronic Posting Disorder.

Flaming Disorder is characterized by one or more episodes of hot-tempered posts, usually posted within seconds of receiving the 'trigger' message, but can be distinguished from the Flame-With-Apology in that the sender has a sincere belief that he/she is 100% correct and morally entitled to his/her feelings of outrage. Flaming Disorder is often accompanied by Chronic Posting Disorder.

Flame-With-Apology Disorder is a milder form of the Flaming Disorder, in which the poster sincerely apologizes for the first portion of the message and yet sends it anyway. A variation of Flame-With-Apology exists in which posters staunchly defend their position for 3 to 4 days, then abruptly back down and revert to Chronic Posting or Lurking.

The specifiers described in the third part of the section are provided to increase diagnostic specificity, create more homogeneous subgroups, assist in treatment selection, and improve the prediction of prognosis. Some of the specifiers describe the current or most recent episode (i.e. Pine, Elm, Anonymous, With Humorous Features, and With Uncomplicated Internet Access)

In the unfortunate event that our esteemed colleague is sectioned, I hereby undertake to keep all informed of his treatment and progress.

Best Regards


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can i have a bed too?

by Shellbot In reply to Why Col (HAL 9000) should ...

thats excellent GG..
After reading it, i think i may need to check in as well.

Well..needed it even before reading it. Bad bad week..i'm about ready to throw in the towel on the job..but i won't.
Its so bad i haven't even been on TR moaning and whining about it....why flog a dead horse..

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S'up, Shell?

by gadgetgirl In reply to can i have a bed too?

You being asked to do the impossible again? Same here..... no change there, then!

Are you still keeping your eyes open for another job? Anything on the horizon?


oh - have you heard from daughter lately?

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the usual..

by Shellbot In reply to S'up, Shell?

Apparently i have plenty of time to do the following in 3 days:
1. Install & configure SQL express & management console on 3 seperate machines. 2 of them needed 100 other updates before i can even do that.
2. Install & configure a test demo of a software package we are purchasing on the 3 machines. (plus my own as a test to figure out how the heck to do it...1 hour set up my @ss)
3.Run reports and compile top line statistics for top level company info, plus department breakdowns for 2006
4. Do up documents on server specs, status, configurations..etc etc
5.Do my regular support gig
6. Run some imports/exports and set up emails for my other team members who can't seem to manage to send mail. As we all know, surely because i know about computers i know all about Outlook? What kind of an employee would i be if i didn't?

Oh, and they not 100% thrilled the stats have some questionable data..they can't understand that unless their "Database Worker" has 5 mins to do a bit of year end maintenace, that its won't be squeky clean (we have some input issues which allows for dirty entry in some areas, which I pointed out 22 MONTHS AGO)..

Oh, sorry, I'M the database worker, i'm not sure if its official, but thats how i am being referred to by my superior. Last week i was a DBA..go figure..wonder if they docking my salary as well..

Keeping my eyes open for another job? I'm close to wh0ring myself out to get out of here. I've dropped my salary expectations..had a good number of calls about my CV, but most are palces i can't get to.
Something will happen soon though, i'm confident. Well, better, my contract runs out Jan 29 and they've not had the decency to say one effing word to me about it..thats a whole other story...

Daughter, ya..she doing ok. Going to meet her in Toronto for a couple days back end of February. (her birthday in march)

ughh..its all me me me

How are you?

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It's only Wednesday

by mjd420nova In reply to can i have a bed too?

No towel tossing allowed until Friday morning. It's been a bad month. We have to work until May just to pay the taxes. This is only week two. If I took two weeks off to check in, I'd be three weeks behind when I got back.

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If you admit Hal

by Dontknowwhatimdoing In reply to Why Col (HAL 9000) should ...

then wouldn't be compelled to help all of the others in the top 100? I hope your "hospital" is BIG!

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Wow, you may need to reserve a few more beds

by w2ktechman In reply to Why Col (HAL 9000) should ...

or rooms.
I think that others as well as myself have fallen victim to your world (mental health unit).

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I'm sorry GG, I'm afraid we cant do that

by mjwx In reply to Why Col (HAL 9000) should ...

There's a shortage of hospital beds here in Australia, but I'm sure there's a pot plant or something we can move for Col's benefit.

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you meant potted plant, right?

by w2ktechman In reply to I'm sorry GG, I'm afraid ...

as a pot plant would be politically incorrect :)

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But a lot of fum to play with

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to you meant potted plant, r ...

Or pull off the heads and smoke at the very least. Almost sounds reasonable to me.

Col ]:)

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by Michael Jay In reply to But a lot of fum to play ...

The Hospital is a no smoking zone, you will have to take it outside. By the way, what door will you be using. lol

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