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Workplace Romances

By cupcake ·
I think I tread into a very precipitous area starting this thread, but I really need others' opinions.

We're all adults right? Well most of us anyway. ;-)

What is your opinion of getting involved with someone you work with? A good friend with whom I share a good working relationship with has been recently dropping not-so-subtle hints that we should take things to another level.

We don't work on the same team, although we have to interact occasionally in meetings and on projects. I think we could keep work and personal lives separate, and if we couldn't (if things progressed to that point) neither of us would have any difficulty leaving this company or securing other employment - we're both contract employees.

Have you ever been involved in this situation? How did it turn out? What kind of advice would you give a friend?

BTW, we're not kids and are both pretty level headed. There is just some kind of attraction going on...

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Edge, sweetie; not area

by santeewelding In reply to Workplace Romances

Precipitous, as in edge with a steep drop.

Also, "workplace" and "romance" are antithetical, like "snowball in ****". Comes to one or the other.

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by cupcake In reply to Edge, sweetie; not area

Is this something you know of first hand? Or is your response based on something hypothetical?

I've remained good friends with former boyfriends/lovers/ex-husband, don't know why one would assume the worst here.

And I've known people who met at work and got married...

...and then again, known some who've had it turned into their worst nightmare.

Yes, precipitous edge ;-)

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My dear

by santeewelding In reply to So...

I said nothing about "worst".

And, yes to your first question. As to the second, a qualified "yes", in that your "if" of the original piece amounts to hypothesis, entailing both induction and deduction, all of which may lead to one choice or the other.

Easy to see from here, though, that your level headedness takes on a pronounced lean.

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You said it youself "worst nightmare"

by robo_dev In reply to So...

Obviously we cannot predict the future...but.

You asked if it was a 'good idea'.

A lot depends on the organization. In small companies, obviously, this can be murder, sometimes literally.

In large companies, the issues that I've seen happen to those who dabble in office romance has been more loss of respect and loss of credibility. It's all very high-schoolish, but that's life...

If nothing else, dating/marrying a co-worker can save on gas (car-pooling) and can save the HR people money since both paychecks can use only one stamp :)

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Commuting together

by boxfiddler Moderator In reply to You said it youself "wor ...

was a huge strain on my first marriage. Hour and a half trip, one way. Not so bad in the am, but pm with rush hour made for a nightmare.
By the time we got home, we were cranky and didn't do each other any help at all.
Didn't help that we were both very young...

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It all depends on the individuals

by Bizzo In reply to Workplace Romances

... and possibly the company.

I know some companies that frown upon office relationships and have moved one or the other person on. And I also know of some companies that don't care, so long as you keep it professional at work.

Are there other people in the company that are married or in relationships with colleagues?

I had a relationship years ago with a colleague. We occasionally had to meet on a professional level. My company didn't mind. The relationship ended, but it was amicable and we carried on working at the same company.

If you can keep your professional head on in the office, and leave the romance and/or personal arguments at the front door (ie who left the toilet seat up/down), then go for it. But also on the flip side, when you both leave the office, pack your work head away with your laptop.

As you said, you're both level headed adults and if you can keep both worlds apart, then there's no reason not to.

Good luck.

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Seen both ways...

by KSoniat In reply to Workplace Romances

Actually in both cases the couples got married. One couple is still together 25 years later. The other couple lasted about 7 years then divorced and now live in different states.

The only issue really was the woman was the stronger of the pair and they teased the man about become Mr. "her last name". :)

Depending on your office rules and environment I'd give it a go.

I would have said in the past it is easier to find a good job than a good man, but now I'm not so sure anymore.

Good Luck!

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It is only natural

by NotSoChiGuy In reply to Workplace Romances

If you work long enough (both in terms of tenure and hours per day) and with enough people, you're bound to meet someone that you're interested in knowing on a more personal level.

I've seen this handled rather well (at my last employer, there was a married couple on the same team...they always had lunch hat is off to them), and handled rather poorly (both employees turned it into a daytime soap-ish drama...UGH).

Personally, I have dated people at the office on numerous occasions. Not once did it ever interfere with my job. Actually, I had a boss once tell me (I was leaving the company, and he asked out of curiosity whether or not I was dating a certain person) he was impressed in the subtlety with which I carried on the relationship.

That's the key. If you do have a relationship, conduct yourselves in the office as if you are not.

I guess another way to look at it is this:
Best case scenario = you find a life partner
Worst case scenario = you lose the job/have to move on due to discomfort

I leave it to you to judge whether or not the risk/reward ratio merits further exploration.

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by The 'G-Man.' In reply to It is only natural

no fumbles in the broom cupboard or empty board room.

No kissy-kissy around the office.

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To me, the key phrase is:

by CharlieSpencer In reply to Workplace Romances

"...neither of us would have any difficulty leaving this company or securing other employment..."

In that case, I recommend one of you do so, then pursue the relationship.

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