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Yuk

By Jaqui ·
Tags: Off Topic
A fire fighter is working on the engine outside the station when he notices a little girl next door in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.

The girl is wearing a fire fighter's helmet and has the wagon tied to a dog and cat. The fire fighter walks over to take a closer look.

"That sure is a nice fire truck," the fire fighter says with admiration. "Thanks," the girl says.

The fire fighter looks a little closer and notices the girl has tied the wagon to the dog's collar and to the cat's testicles. "Little Partner," the fire fighter says, "I don't want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster.

"The little girl replied, "You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren.

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and a solution to an old problem

by Jaqui In reply to Yuk

http://www.funpic.hu/files/pics/00033/00033130.jpg

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Lets get the Govt. to pay for it

by w2ktechman In reply to and a solution to an old ...

iBoobs for all women!

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iBoobs for all!!!

by Jaqui In reply to Lets get the Govt. to pay ...

new motto. ]:)

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Its wrong

by Shellbot In reply to Yuk

too laugh at that..(poor kitty) but i laughed..

:)

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~evil grin~ NT

by Jaqui In reply to Its wrong
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bump

by Jaqui In reply to Yuk

just cause we needs it, what with elections and stock market crumbling.

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and just because its hump day..

by Shellbot In reply to bump

I just had a huge peice of amazing choclate brownie with nuts in it, and a cup of Earl Grey tea from the coffee shop next door..

what a day..i think i worked too hard monday and tuesday and fried my brain..this afetrnoon I just cannot settle into getting anything done

now i think there's a wasp on the loose in the office..dang it..gonna have to do my girly "eeewwweee somebody get it out of here" dance soon..

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makes sense to me

by Jaqui In reply to and just because its hump ...

and iBoobs for all!!!

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Forget the bump - let's have a BANG! ...

by OldER Mycroft In reply to Yuk

A Husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf.....Unfortunately, the wife promptly whacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.

The husband cringed, 'I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologise and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us.'

So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm voice said, 'Come on in.'

When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the broken window.

A man reclining on the couch asked, 'Are you the people that broke my window?'

'Uh...yeah, sir. We're really sorry about that,' the husband replied.

'Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you... You see, I'm a genie , and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for myself.'

'Wow, that's great!' the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, 'I'd like a million pounds a year for the rest of my life.'

'No problem,' said the genie. 'You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!' 'And now you, young lady, what do you want?' the genie asked.

'I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country in the world,' she said.

'Consider it done,' the genie said. 'And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!'

'And now,' the couple asked in unison, what's your wish, genie?'

'Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife.'

The husband looked at his wife and said, 'Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?'

She mulled it over for a few moments and said, 'You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?'

'You know I love you sweetheart,' said the husband. I'd do the same for you!'




So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other in every way. After about three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, 'How old are you and your husband?'

'Why, we're both 35,' she responded breathlessly.

'NO ****.' He said, 'Thirty-five years old and you both still believe in genies?' :^0

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Closely followed by a '...Boom Boom!'

by OldER Mycroft In reply to Yuk

A white guy is walking along a beach when he comes across a lamp partially buried in the sand. He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub. Two blonde genies appear, and they tell him he has been granted three wishes. The guy makes his three wishes and the blonde genies disappear. The next thing the guy knows, he's in a bedroom, in a mansion surrounded by 50 beautiful women. He makes love to all of them and begins to explore the house. Suddenly he feels something soft under his feet, he looks down and the floor is covered in $1,000 bills!

Then, there's a knock at the door.. ..

.

He answers it and standing there are two persons dressed in Ku Klux Klan outfits. They drag him outside to the nearest tree, throw a rope over a limb and hang him by the neck until he's dead. As the Klansmen are walking away, they remove their hoods; it's the two blonde genies. One blonde genie says to the other one, 'I can understand the first wish having all these beautiful women in a big mansion to make love to. I can also understand him wanting to be a millionaire, but why he wanted to be hung like a black man is beyond me."

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