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  • #2264750

    Yuk’s Up!

    Locked

    by gadgetgirl ·

    Morning all! 😀

    I figured it was my turn this time.

    Have a bit of Friday silliness on me. I’ve had some fun with this in here this morning…. :p

    [b] Make your new name: [/b]

    Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first name:

    a = poopsie b = lumpy
    c = buttercup d = gadget
    e = crusty f = greasy
    g = fluffy h = cheeseball
    i = chim-chim j = stinky
    k = flunky l = boobie
    m = pinky n = zippy
    q = slimy r = loopy
    s= snotty t = tootie
    u = dorkey v = squeezit
    w = oprah x = skipper
    y = dinky z = zsa-zsa

    Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:

    a = apple b = toilet
    c = giggle d = burger
    e = girdle f = barf
    g = lizard h = waffle
    i = cootie j = monkey
    k = potty l = liver
    m = banana n = rhino
    o = bubble p = hamster
    q = toad r = gizzard
    s = pizza t = gerbil
    u = chicken v = pickle
    w = chuckle x = tofu
    y = gorilla z = stinker

    Use the fourth letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name:

    a = head b = mouth
    c = face d = nose
    e = tush f = breath
    g = pants h = shorts
    i = lips j = honker
    k = butt l = brain
    m = tushie n = chunks
    o = hiney p = biscuits
    q = toes r = buns
    s = fanny t = sniffer
    u = sprinkles v = kisser
    w = squirt x = humperdinck
    y = brains z = juice

    Thus, for example, George W. Bush’s new name is Goober Chickenshorts.

    Unfortunately, mine comes out as: Zippy Apple-Butt?.. and I work with a guy called Boobie Gerbil-Kisser??? :^0

    C’mon, join in! What’s your new name?

    GG

    Have a wonderful weekend! 😉

    Edited to add: Greasy Liver-Lips should know exactly who he is!! 😀

All Comments

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    • #3288784

      My name is:

      by shellbot ·

      In reply to Yuk’s Up!

      Crusty Pizza Brain

      hahaha..

      Your at it early GG! I’ve not got one to post yet..and i’m only in this morning in the afternoon have a company do, so probably won’t get a chance to post.

      I’m sick 🙁
      Some sort of tummy thing yesterday afternoon, and now woke up with a banging sinus cold..throat is burning and head is pounding..

      have a good weekend!

      • #3288780

        oh, dear, Shell…

        by gadgetgirl ·

        In reply to My name is:

        Please, dear, don’t go telling people that I’m “at it early”…… sheesh…..

        How the tummy now? Will it be ok for the company do?

        Taken any meds yet?

        GG

        • #3288056

          dying

          by shellbot ·

          In reply to oh, dear, Shell…

          well..i’ve taken so much immodium i probably won’t go for a week..and I’m hoping Benelyn cold and flu will get me through the day..they don’t seem to be doing too terribly much though (usually they sort me out fine)

          so not sure if i should be drinking tonight 🙁
          if i get much worse, i may have to head home to bed..typicall me..sick for my party and the weekend.
          plus, 2 of my co-workers came in with bad tummy’s now..so i probably started it off..

          sorry about the “early” thing :)..i’ll rephrase

          Wow GG, your up and full of energy bright an early, posting a yuk to get us early ones laughing 🙂

        • #3288018
          Avatar photo

          SHELLY you are sounding so much like a male

          by hal 9000 ·

          In reply to dying

          That’s it not funny! One little paper cut and most males think that they need to be admitted to Horesiptal for several days and several hundred stitches put in for a 1 quarter inch cut. At least that’s what all the females keep telling me males are such sooks that they complain about the slightest thing and they are always dyeing from it as well. It’s terrible having Medical people in the family and even worse knowing more of them. :_|

          I’ve been taught that unless there are bones sticking out there is nothing to complain about even when I had to have my Gall Bladder removed all I could do was go to the local horsepital and say that I wasn’t all that well so the Quack there examined me pumped in 1 Lt of Saline and told me to go home as I had an upset stomach. 3 Hours latter after an Emergency Ultra Sound I was rushed into the local meat works for emergency surgery. Where I saw the fool who had told me that I had an upset stomach and then he disappeared but not before screwing me over by loosing my medical papers. Seems that he didn’t want it known that I had been there earlier that day and he had sent me away insisting that there was nothing wrong with me. :^0

          I didn’t even want to go near a meat-works when I dropped that car on me as I was perfectly OK with only a few broken ribs but once the quacks get a hold of you they make a big deal out of nothing. Here’s how I looked on 9-11-2001

          http://tinyurl.com/rzp7w

          I personally thought that I looked fine as I was only bleeding from the eyes, ears & nose but no the quacks had to make such a big deal out of a little incident that it wasn’t funny. :p

          Oh [b]Don’t laugh as you might keep moving. 🙂

          Col ]:)

        • #3287946

          Wow, like males?

          by w2ktechman ·

          In reply to SHELLY you are sounding so much like a male

          In my family, and others that I know, we avoid the Dr as much as possible.
          The last time I went to the hospital was when I had glass in my eye, the time before that, road rash (totalled my bike, was forced to go).

          But I also do not take pills well, even aspirin (or ibuprofin — however it is spelled), is a rarity.

        • #3287801
          Avatar photo

          Isn’t it fun having stuff scraped out of your eyes?

          by hal 9000 ·

          In reply to Wow, like males?

          Yep I’ve been there done that and it’s something that I really don’t care to repeat though it was an occupational hazard when I was working my way through Uni fixing Sewing Machines. Seems that every time a Needle broke it would shatter and you would end up with some of it in your eye or eyes if you where silly enough to actually be wearing Safety Glasses to protect your eyes. 🙁

          I just love how you can see through the middle of the needle that they use to scrape it out and then insist that you keep your eye still as what looks like a telegraph pole is shoved into your eye, then as they move the needle around you get to see the light up the middle and they wonder why I try to run away it’s pure self preservation noting else is involved. :^0

          But no matter how much I hate Hospitals and Doctors I still firmly believe that the Dentist is still by far the worst person to visit. They enjoy inflicting pain and instead of just fixing the problem tooth even if that involved pulling it they find more work that they insist needs doing. The last time I was forced to the dentist as I left I was pulled up by the police and as I couldn’t talk they thought that I was drunk.

          When I wrote out that I was just leaving the Dentist they both pulled faces and sent me packing. I managed 35 years without seeing a dentist and I’m hoping that I can go another 35 years before I have to see another one. Those people really enjoy their job way too much for my liking. 🙁

          Col

        • #3289631

          our experiences differed a bit

          by w2ktechman ·

          In reply to Isn’t it fun having stuff scraped out of your eyes?

          With me, they used something to keep my eye open, then sprayed some liquid in it. Then they looked with a special (huge) machine to see if they got it out.

          It was painless but uncomfortable. But the wait was much worse, cause my eye was bugging me and tearing constantly, and I had to wait 3 hours to get into a room and another 45 minutes before they started.
          But, it was worth it, cause when I was done, I felt much better (actually, the next day cause I went home and went to bed afterwards).
          However, my brother had a different story, they needed to sand down something (lasik would not work). I think it was his retina. Wow, he was hating life for almost a week.
          He described the procedure as being awake and looking at a belt sander on your eyeball.

        • #3289567
          Avatar photo

          Well it’s been quite a while since I had this done

          by hal 9000 ·

          In reply to Isn’t it fun having stuff scraped out of your eyes?

          And they may have changed the treatment but way back when Moses was a child they used to clamp your eye open apply some form of anaesthetic and then dye to allow the objects in your eye/s to be seen easier and then clamp your head in this monster of a device which shone a bright blue light into your eye and then they would scrape out the bits of metal and any rust that had formed while you where waiting to get the bit of metal out.

          One night I hit a very expensive horse which some vandals had let out and then scared the living daylights out of so it ran straight onto the road in front of me and the laminated windscreen sent small shards of glass into the inside of the car and naturally into my eyes. That was really uncomfortable but what was even worse is attempting to ride an over powered Ducati around with only 1 eye open to see with as you have no Depth Perception. The night of the collision they scrapped about 30 pieces of glass out of my left eye and then the next day when I returned the scraped heaps of glass out of my right eye and then some more out of my left eye so I had patches on each eye and had caught a cab down the second time.

          I’m not quite sure what was worse having the glass scraped out or facing [b]SWMBO[/b] with dye on my shirt that didn’t wash out. She was all worried till it came time to attempt to clean the to dye stained shirts and then it was my fault. 🙁

          Col

        • #3289545

          Ahh, much the same then

          by w2ktechman ·

          In reply to Isn’t it fun having stuff scraped out of your eyes?

          Now that you mention it, the yellow dye and blue light seem to fall back into memory. Unpleasant.

          But, they shot liquid to flush the glass out, never scraped. Then they looked again afterwards and said that they got it cause it wasnt in there anymore.
          The liquid was not water, but was a super-lubricant of some sort.

        • #2502188
          Avatar photo

          You got off easy. :p

          by hal 9000 ·

          In reply to Isn’t it fun having stuff scraped out of your eyes?

          By the sounds of things the glass was floating on the surface of your eye and they could just flush it out.

          Every time that I’ve had that done I’ve had bits of whatever embedded in my eye/s so they have had to scrape it out because they where unable to flush it out or the doctor doing the procedure wanted the experience of inflicting as much fright as possible knowing that without a [b]Depth of Field[/b] you couldn’t successfully [b]Punch their Lights Out.[/b] 😀

          Col

        • #2501946

          Lol

          by w2ktechman ·

          In reply to Isn’t it fun having stuff scraped out of your eyes?

          I needed a good laugh

        • #3287806

          Doctors? Where? RUN AWAY!!!!!

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to SHELLY you are sounding so much like a male

          One of the last times I was FORCED by the EX to go in to the docs with a little sniffle, they pumped me full of meds and made up some excuse about double pneumonia blah blah, and hung onto me for a week. (at least I finally got a hot nurse!)

          Can you believe they expected me to take another two weeks after that off? After a week, I calmly explained how stressful it is to sit at home all day bored to tears compared to sitting at work all day with things to distract me with, so they let me go back. All that over a little sniffle!

        • #3287798
          Avatar photo

          It’s shocking what they can manage to pump into you

          by hal 9000 ·

          In reply to Doctors? Where? RUN AWAY!!!!!

          Isn’t it? When that photo was taken they had 3 IV’s going all into separate needles and they where acting as if there was something wrong with me. Worse still they didn’t strap up the broken ribs as they where too cheap to use some bandages but where willing to throw hundreds of $ of drugs into me to stop an infection that I didn’t have.

          Then the worst thing was on the third day the torture woman came around and called herself a healer who enjoyed inflicting pain to encourage you to get the hell out of the place as fast as possible. I loved being told just how lazy I was by staying put in Bed when for the last 3 days every nurse & Doctor insisted that I stay put in bed and not move though by that time I had a NB and a mobile phone so I could pickup my e-mails so I could do some work. But then the Torturer appeared and insisted that I move about. You should try to walk with 2 IV stands which act like totally stuffed shopping trolleys and go everywhere but where you want while at the same time be tied up in a walking frame that’s about as controllable as a car without wheels sliding out of control toward a cliff. They actually had 4 nurses walking with me, talk about a waste of people power one third of the ward staff was used to walk me around and then when I got back I was told that I wasn’t trying so I had to go further and that’s exactly what I did even with the nurses complaining I went up the isle round the corner another 500 meters to the lifts and then down 6 floors and outside to the smoking area where I stayed put for the next 4 hours till the nursing staff insisted that I return to the ward. 🙁

          Well what can I say I was told to walk further than I was originally told to walk so I did. 😀

          They never got me back into a bed after than and that made them unhappy so the Torturer wasn’t allowed back to annoy me again as she made far too much work for the staff and they ganged up on her. I actually wanted to work looking like that as I could always say it’s a bad Birthmark as one woman was overheard saying [b]Look at that Poor Man and his Birthmark.[/b] Suited me down to the ground but they wouldn’t let up and kept me there for another 2 weeks then expected me to do nothing for at least a month. It just didn’t happen. 😀

          Though I now have a good excuse not to get under a car when I don’t want to as all I say now is I’m scared that it will fall and I’m unwilling to get under it. I’ve got [b]SWMBO[/b] bluffed and she stops complaining about things when I say that so I get to put off something that I really don’t want to do for as long as possible. :^0

          Col

        • #3287781

          got me beat…..

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to Doctors? Where? RUN AWAY!!!!!

          I only had the one stand to stroll around with.

          The only real problem I had besides boredom was when they gave me the potassium drip. Oh yeah, it sucks when they forget to put the saline drip in with it and you get it straight.

          Any med people know what I am talking about with straight potassium? Reminds you the definition of pain.

        • #3287703
          Avatar photo

          So JD are you going to own up to who you upset?

          by hal 9000 ·

          In reply to Doctors? Where? RUN AWAY!!!!!

          For someone to apply Potassium directly undiluted you must have really upset someone. :^0

          Personally I try to keep only Alcohol being applied IV as it works faster that way. :p

          Col

        • #3289743

          An “indignified huff”..

          by shellbot ·

          In reply to SHELLY you are sounding so much like a male

          HUFF

          i sound like a male?? aarrgg.

          Well, spent the entire weekend dying. Thank god for Kleenex with “balm”..doesn’t take near as much nose skin off as the regular stuff. I’m hoping I’ll get the part of Rudolph this year, god knows my nose is red enough.
          I’ve pulled every mucsle in my abdomen and back from coughing. Each new cough sends pain shooting throughout my body.

          Dragged myself into work this morning, thought i was feeling a bit better, but not so sure..see how it goes, might go home at lunch.

          No way I’m going to the DR, what 60 euros to be told to take a cold tablet?? No thanks.

          SO i’ll just go suffer quietly now…
          If i never psot again, i’ve coughed myself into an early grave

        • #3289739

          sounds like

          by jaqui ·

          In reply to An “indignified huff”..

          the nasty cold I had a couple of months back.
          major chest congestion, coughing, aching..

          seems it is a pneumonia virus going around, but a mild pneumonia, more a really bad case of bronchitis.

          The public health here are giving shots for it, FREE.
          it is actually that serious an infection.

          I took a month to kick it without seeing the DR.
          you might want to reconcider the DR visit decision. 🙂

        • #3289630

          I went that route two years ago

          by jdclyde ·

          In reply to sounds like

          and ended up with double pneumonia and they wouldn’t let me out of the hospital for a week!

          If you are wracking your whole body with that violent of coughs, get in because it isn’t a cold anymore.

          plan on them sending you somewhere that can TEST for pneumonia.

        • #3289726
          Avatar photo

          Shelly you need to be like me

          by hal 9000 ·

          In reply to An “indignified huff”..

          I have a tame Surgeon who Blackmails me when he’s cutting off moles that are possible cancerous. He takes one cut and then hits me to do some medical work which I no longer do. So I go down to his place and drink his Scotch under Medical Supervision of Course. 😀

          And he keeps me alive because he claims that he needs me to fix his computers. So I spend 30 minutes once a month telling him how to place a piece of paper on a scanner add an attachment to an e-mail or telling him that he actually has to be logged into his ISP to get E-Mail. It’s easy work and he’s there 100% of the time if ever I need something. :p

          Currently he claims that he owes me at least 25 major operations and one of his fiends has promised me a free transplant opp when I want one though that figure will go up at the beginning of next year when I do him another favour. As he lives all of 500 yards from my front door it’s a major inconvenience to have to walk up the road to his place. 😀

          Apparently when ever I’ve been in a meat-works over the last 15 odd years they have both been on the phone the my doctors there telling them to look after me and threating them with God only knows what if I die. 🙂

          Instead of trying to kill myself by dropping another car on me I think I’ll resort to poison next time as it’s far less painful, and I’ll not have people come up and constantly make me laugh with broken ribs as that’s painful. 🙁

          But if you are still feeling the same tomorrow I would be seeing the Quack ASAP as it sounds far worse than something simple. 🙂

          Col

        • #3289715

          HAL & Jaqui

          by shellbot ·

          In reply to Shelly you need to be like me

          Presuming i live through the next 2 days, I’ll go see the DR then. This way i can ask for a note and get friday off..

          Crap..i have to be better for saturday, a friends xmas party..and i’ve already missed one party due to this fiendish cold..

          Ok, i’ll see how i feel tomorrow, and if still feverish & coughing, I’ll go in.

          If he just tells me to take Sudafed you guys owe me!!

        • #3289556
          Avatar photo

          Shelly what happens if the Quack

          by hal 9000 ·

          In reply to Shelly you need to be like me

          Throws you in the meat works telling you just how close to death you actually are? You’ll be in there for at least a week and still miss the Christmas Party and what’s worse you’ll have a constant stream of Medical staff telling you just how lucky you where and how silly you where to Self Treat yourself in the most condescending tones possible. :p

          Personally while I’m allergic to needles every year I have a Flu Shot as it’s much better than getting the Flu one year about 30 years ago now I was in the meat works for 4 weeks wishing that I was dead. It took nearly 3 months after I was released to start feeling better again maybe I should have done as I was told and not returned to work. 😀

          But if you want something really bad I used to race Classic Motor Cycles and after one particularly heavy meeting I had to see a new Nero Surgeon for my Back Injury so for all weekend I was racing a 1959 250 CC Ducati and then first thing Monday Mourning I had this appointment with a new Quack. Now what are the chances that he would be a Classic Motorcycle Racing Buff? When I was wheeled into the surgery he threw down a copy of the previous weekends program opened to the list of competitors with my name highlighted and asked [b]Do you know this person?[/b] He turned out to be really good but I had to let him take the Ducati for a ride at the local Race Track and he did make me sick for about 6 months after performing a test so I missed 2 race meetings. 🙁

          Col

    • #3288783

      Hmm Zippy Bubblebutt

      by tony hopkinson ·

      In reply to Yuk’s Up!

      almost prescient.

      • #3288027

        prescient?

        by gadgetgirl ·

        In reply to Hmm Zippy Bubblebutt

        ……webcam …….

        ]:)

        GG

        • #3287986

          Hmmm…

          by susan1979 ·

          In reply to prescient?

          Snotty Girdlebuns..

          I think I’ll just go by Girdlebuns… If Cher can just use one name, I can too!

    • #3288781

      The Facelift

      by shellbot ·

      In reply to Yuk’s Up!

      An old lady walks into a plastic surgeon’s office and tells him she wants a facelift.

      He says, “Well, we have three models. The first is for $1000 and is guaranteed for one year, the second is $3000 and is guaranteed for 3 years, and the last is $5000 and it is guaranteed for 5 years.”

      The old lady says, “Well tell me about them.”

      The doctor says, “For $1000, you are going to get a half-ass job that you pay very little for.”

      She responds, “Forget that one, what about the next one?”

      He explains, “For $3000, we do a much better job and pay close attention to detail, but it’s only guaranteed for 3 years.”

      The lady says, “No, that’s no good either, what about the last one?”

      The doctor replies, “For $5000, you are going to get the best facelift with a feature that is on the cutting edge of plastic surgery. There will be a screw attached to the back of your head and if you notice your face sagging, just come back in and we will tighten the screw.”

      The lady is delighted and has the surgery. About 6 months later she comes back to the office very upset.

      “Doctor, I want my money back because I look horrible. Look at these bags under my eyes!”

      The doctor leans back in his chair and says, “Lady, you aren’t getting anything back. Those bags under your eyes are your boobs and if you keep messing with that screw, you’re going to have a beard!”

    • #3288054

      eeeewwwwww

      by jaqui ·

      In reply to Yuk’s Up!

      Slimy Gizzardtush

      that just doesn’t sound right.

      • #3288053

        by gadgetgirl ·

        In reply to eeeewwwwww

        oh, yes it does, Jaq!

        😀 :p

        ]:)

        GG

        • #3288015

          nope

          by jaqui ·

          In reply to

          if it was Slimy Gizzardchunks it would sound right ]:)

        • #3287892

          I dunno..

          by maecuff ·

          In reply to nope

          I never pictured you as a ‘slimy’

        • #3287795
          Avatar photo

          Mae think of it this way

          by hal 9000 ·

          In reply to I dunno..

          He’s not slimy just liberally covered with a thick layer of KY Jelly. :p

          Col ]:)

        • #3287761

          Col

          by maecuff ·

          In reply to Mae think of it this way

          really? Isn’t that a tad bit more disturbing than slime?

        • #3287752

          really

          by jaqui ·

          In reply to Col

          after all, O’my is a natural hemp based lube made locally, Col should realise I would pick a local natural product by now ]:)

        • #3287704
          Avatar photo

          You know what they say Mae

          by hal 9000 ·

          In reply to Col

          Exciting is when you use a Feather & Kinky is when you use the whole chicken. :p

          What’s disturbing is the way that my mothers Geese run away and hid from me when I go over there. Everyone else is scared of the things and when I walk into their area they run away and hide trembling in fear of me. 😀

          Col ]:)

    • #3288047

      Crusty Cootiebrain

      by steffi28 ·

      In reply to Yuk’s Up!

      Im not sure i like this game Crusty Cootiebrain, thats just not nice 🙁

      If i use my maiden name im Crusty Gigglehiney. That sounds a bit better i suppose lol

    • #3288044

      Wal-Mart

      by steffi28 ·

      In reply to Yuk’s Up!

      Oh well as it made me laugh, heres my input to the yuk.

      One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike
      behind him,
      “My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor.”

      “Listen, you don’t have to spend that kind of money,” Mike replies.
      “There’s a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart.
      Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what’s wrong

      and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars …a
      lot cheaper than a doctor.”

      So Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal- Mart.

      He deposits ten dollars and ten seconds later, the computer ejects a
      printout:

      “You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy
      activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ WalMart.”

      That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began
      wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool
      sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm
      sample for good measure.

      Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten
      dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
      The computer prints the following:

      1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)

      2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)

      3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.

      4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer.

      5. If you don’t stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get
      better.

      “Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.”

    • #3288043

      New Name

      by ed woychowsky ·

      In reply to Yuk’s Up!

      Pinky Bubbleface!!!

      Bummer.

      • #3288036

        oh, Ed!

        by gadgetgirl ·

        In reply to New Name

        please put a screenwipe warning on that one.

        Grief, that was a muttleyfit and a half.

        Not helped, of course, by the fact I’ve just worked out “Maxwell Edison”….

        No.

        I’ll let you do it yourself. *screenwipe alert*

        ]:)

        GG

        • #3288006

          Other names

          by ed woychowsky ·

          In reply to oh, Ed!

          My mother’s maiden name works out to Bubbletush and my wife’s maiden name translates to Gizzardfanny. There seems to be a theme here, but in the interest of self preservation I’ll keep it to myself.

        • #3288003

          sorry, Ed….

          by gadgetgirl ·

          In reply to Other names

          what was your wife’s email address again?!

          :p

          ]:)

          GG

        • #3287943

          Is your wife related to the South Wales Bubbletush clan?

          by neilb@uk ·

          In reply to Other names

          If so, then we are related!

        • #3287926

          Could be

          by ed woychowsky ·

          In reply to Is your wife related to the South Wales Bubbletush clan?

          Since she’s decended from the Mayflower boat people. In case you’re unaware, Americans have been kicked out of every decent country on the planet.

    • #3288041

      Oh My

      by rob mekel ·

      In reply to Yuk’s Up!

      Had a good laugh with all the funny names popping out 😀
      Now couldn’t you have put in mine othewise ?:|
      Lumpy Girdletush 🙁 sheejs

      Oh btw, how did you know that George “what ever” turns into Goober ???? ?:|

      Zippy Apple-Butt, doesn’t sound to to bad. Sounds just like you 😀 😉 😡

      Rob

      • #3288040

        I’ll take that….

        by gadgetgirl ·

        In reply to Oh My

        as a non-insult… I think! 😀

        Hey, I’m enjoying this…..

        ]:)

        GG

        • #3288024

          Dear Sir or Madam

          by neilb@uk ·

          In reply to I’ll take that….

          I fail to see any amusement that might be gained from at the expense of those who have what you consider unusual names. I am proud of my family name and have traced it back to Wales in pre-Roman times and consider those who would poke fun to be ignorant.

          Yours faithfully,

          Chim-chim Bubbletush

          Strangely, though, we do find it unusual that both my brother, my mother and I all share the same name although my mother was a member of the Warwickshire Cootiesquirts before her marriage to my father, Pinky.

        • #3288017

          Neil!

          by gadgetgirl ·

          In reply to Dear Sir or Madam

          did you have to do that?

          I mean [b] really [/b] have to do that….?

          It’s taken me ten minutes to dry the monitor.

          Class Neil. Real class. Totally enjoyable.

          [i] Definitely [/i] a bottle of Brown for you, babz! 😡

          GG

        • #2500967

          It is not, it is not, it is not,

          by rob mekel ·

          In reply to I’ll take that….

          It is not only a non-insult it was meant as a compliment … [i]damn explaning a compliment sheesj that s@cks 🙁 [/i]

          Think of the name as taking a zipp from a nice apple fr.m.d butt. :8} 😉
          Who doesn’t like taking a zipp of that one 🙂

          Rob

          [i]edited for double naming[/i]

        • #2500958

          you are saying gg has

          by jaqui ·

          In reply to It is not, it is not, it is not,

          an apple shaped butt?

          you know she has a round butt for sure? ]:)
          is it as firm as an apple? ]:)
          [ I hope not, it’s mch more fun when there is some jiggle ]

          or are you saying that gg is deformed and has a butt that looks like an apple grafted onto her? ]:)

          😀

          rob should know better than to leave himself open like this. ]:) ]:)

        • #2500955

          [b] JAQ! Leave my butt outta this! [/b]

          by gadgetgirl ·

          In reply to you are saying gg has

          Too round, definite jiggle, and with the high shoes on, a wiggle too!

          That’s as far as I go – you’ll have to await feedback from the meetngreet as to the other remarks!

          Sheesh….men….can’t leave a damn thing alone….

          Deformed? Only four parts of me are deformed….. and that should get you going long enough to drop yourself [b] [u] [i] right [/b] [/i] [/u] in it! 😉

          GG

        • #2500948

          gg,

          by jaqui ·

          In reply to [b] JAQ! Leave my butt outta this! [/b]

          I already have a good mental image of you.
          even before the comment above. :p

          I bet there is a wiggle even in flats. ]:)
          [it’s natural in the way that the muscles are attached to the hips ]

          I’m leaving the deformed four parts alone, that is just too easy ]:)
          [ 4 quadrants, one for …. ]

        • #2500941

          Now Jaqui ]:) !!!

          by rob mekel ·

          In reply to you are saying gg has

          You damn well know that it is the explanation of GG’s new found name and that that name at least gives the suggestion that she has a nice apple formed butt.

          Taking a sip of that apple would inform you that it handles about a juice/liquid to be more precise a Calvados (zippy drink with apple taste, distilled apple-wine) 🙂 😉

          Or what would your explanation be :8} 😉
          Rob

        • #2502998
          Avatar photo

          The pair of you have better be VERY CAREFUL GG

          by hal 9000 ·

          In reply to Now Jaqui ]:) !!!

          Has already told you that she wears 2 12 inch Stilettos and [b]She didn’t mean High Heals Either with that Comment.[/b] :^0

          God the two of you like to live dangerously don’t you?

          Col

        • #2502996

          riiiiiiight

          by jaqui ·

          In reply to The pair of you have better be VERY CAREFUL GG

          you know I’m safe from gg’s wrath :p

          even Mae knows it and why ]:)

          actually most of the women that post on TR know why I’m safe from gg’s wrath.

          it’s only the guys that remain clueless ]:)

          [ leaving opening for gg et-al to play with. ]

        • #2502935

          Why on earth

          by rob mekel ·

          In reply to The pair of you have better be VERY CAREFUL GG

          Is a compliment on the looks and comparison with a fine drink(Calvados), special to drink after a very nice meal before a nice cosy evening, ever being called “living dangerously” ?
          To me it’s called living live to the max 🙂

          And I love living live to the max 🙂 Seeking the boundaries, teasing, wordgames are of those maximising lovely things.

          BTW would love to see GG wiggle around on those 2 1/2 inch Stilettos. 🙂
          Guess that has to wait till the meetngreet. 🙁

          [b]If living live to the max is living dangerously … YES I love living dangerously.[/b]
          [i]now if that doesn’t give some input on wordgames, think I’m gonna take a duck and lay low for a while till all the fuzz blows over 😀 😉 [/i]

          Rob

          [i]edited for @#$%$# emoticon typo[/i]

        • #2502910

          oh, you lot!

          by gadgetgirl ·

          In reply to The pair of you have better be VERY CAREFUL GG

          Jaq, you’re only safe up to a point…<"pointed remark"> 😉 don’t push your luck too much, or I’ll walk all over you with the stillettoes…..

          Second thoughts, you’d enjoy that too much!

          oh and Rob – at the meetngreet, I’ll probably wear the four-inchers that go with the skirt with the split up the side, so you can see the pocket garter on the stockings…. :8}

          oh, I just gotta have a skype practice before this meetngreet! This should be GRRRRRREEEEEEEAAAAAAAAATTTTTT! :p

          GG

          ]:)

    • #3288014

      some one or more liners to look at differently

      by rob mekel ·

      In reply to Yuk’s Up!

      a true friend is someone who walks in when the whole world walks out
      —-
      Look at life through the windshield not the rearveiw mirror
      —-
      Never look down on someone unless you are helping them up
      —-
      life………………..

      Some days your the windscreen, somedays your the fly.

      or

      Some days your the dog, Somedays your the lamp post
      —-
      I don’t mind talking to your hand. It is when it starts talking back, then we have a problem.
      —-
      Student: The brain is a wonderful thing.
      Teacher: Why do you say that?
      Student: Because it starts working the second you get up in the morning and never stops until you get asked a question in class!
      —-

      Have a great weekend all

      Rob

      • #3287900

        You could be having a Salmon Day

        by dryflies ·

        In reply to some one or more liners to look at differently

        That’s where you swim upstream all day long only to get screwed in the end and die.

        • #3287747

          not if

          by jaqui ·

          In reply to You could be having a Salmon Day

          you arean atlantic salmon, those misbegotten things don’t die after spawning, they go back to sea.
          [ a friend from Ottawa was being teased about her first reaction to seeing the Pacific Salmon cycle.. she was trying to get the dying fish to swim back to the ocean and live. 😀 ]

    • #3287992

      tootie chickenbrain

      by tonythetiger ·

      In reply to Yuk’s Up!

      chickenbrain

      • #3287990

        I’m so tempted…..

        by gadgetgirl ·

        In reply to tootie chickenbrain

        to say it suits you…..

        or ask something like why a tiger with the brain of a chicken…..

        oh, sorry Tony, just having a Friday on a Friday, which is a nice change for me at the moment! :p

        Have a good weekend, Tootie!

        had to type that three times, it kept coming out as “Tootsie” …..

        ]:)

        GG

      • #3287984

        Wow…

        by susan1979 ·

        In reply to tootie chickenbrain

        The years have been good to you, Tootie.

        http://sixmeatbuffet.com/images/tootie.jpg

    • #3287988

      New Name

      by dugadugdug ·

      In reply to Yuk’s Up!

      Hmmm Dorkey CootieTush

      • #3287985

        Actually

        by gadgetgirl ·

        In reply to New Name

        I think I prefer it!

        :p 😀

        GG

    • #3287981

      Loopy Gizzardpants…

      by zen37 ·

      In reply to Yuk’s Up!

      …How nice 😀

      • #3287923

        yup..

        by jaqui ·

        In reply to Loopy Gizzardpants…

        and it seems kind of appropriate ]:)

        now, since you are from quebec, what would everyone’s name be in French? ]:)
        [ being in BC, French is 95% useless, so I never remembered it after I finished school. I just wish that Mandarin, Cantonese, Punjabi, Pakistani, Hinustani or Tagalog had been language options, those I could use out here. ]

        editing to add:

        about the only time french would be handy is when dealing with the transplants from Quebec out here.. and I try to not deal with the beggars on the streets. quit shipping the indegent twits here or we’ll have to tax Quebec for the welfare moneys that go to these expatriots that refuse to work. :p

    • #3287978
      Avatar photo

      Well I like it

      by hal 9000 ·

      In reply to Yuk’s Up!

      Bobbie Chicken But I’m not sure. :p

      Now down to some serious jokes.

      The background needs to be set Kim Beasley at the time was the leader of the Federal Opposition ASIO is the Top Spy orginasition in AU and Jeanette Howard is the wife of the current Prime Minister in AU.

      This was read out as a Joke of the day on a National Morning TV show and while everyone here will have heard a variation of it I’ll go on to explain the furore that resulted from this one being told.

      John Howard is on a Skying Holiday when as he makes the first run of the day down his private slope he sees written in the snow with Urine [b]John Howard Is A Dork[/b] So he turns to his Security Detail and insists that they find out who is responsible for this outrage and when they find out who’s responsible he’ll allow the full weight of the Law to come down on them. The Security Detail get a full Forensic Team on site and take multiple photos of the writing to compare against know individuals and then proceed to scoop up all of the offensive writing to get DNA Evidence.

      At 12.30 PM the Head of ASIO walks into meet John Howard and says We Have Good News & Bad News which do you want first? John Howard says the Good News so he’s told that after exhaustive testing they are now 100% sure that the source of the urine was Kim Beasley. John Howard jumps around as happy as a Pig in Mud saying I’ve got him now there is nothing that he can do to stay in Parliament. Then he asks after such good news what can be the Bad News and the head of ASIO says it was written by Jeanette Howard and we have just spent 25 Billion $ to find this out when we could have paid $1.50 for a news paper and it was the lead story.

      Normally this would have got a laugh and would have been the end of things but the PC Crowd has now got so strong that they made a multitude of phone calls to the TV Station complaining and demanding that the person who told the joke was taken off air, they went all the way to the General Manager of that Free to Air TV Station complaining. Then the Talk Back Radio Stations got a hold of it and went to town and in their rightly rage ran their own polls as to what should happen to the person responsible for defaming both the Prime Minister & his Wife.

      This went on for 3 days and eventually died off through a total lack of interest though to be fair the announcers on the radio tried to push it along for a few more days but no one was interested so it eventually died a natural death. I should add here that all of the Radio Stations involved where Supporters of the current Government so I would hazard a guess that there was some Political back biting going on to support their leader who is incapable of saying [b]Sorry[/b] Whoops that should have read [b]Doing Any Wrong.[/b] Where’s the edit function when you really need it. 🙁

      The other interesting piece of data that was released this week was that men think about sex on average once every 15 seconds. Women on the other hand rarely think about sex on a regular basis but every 2 seconds they are thinking about shoes. Though to be fair it’s admitted that those lovely must have shoes that they have just bought and are wearing are most likely uncomfortable and mangling their feet so the pain that they are suffering while wearing those [b]Must Have Shoes[/b] may be a contributing factor.

      Have a great Weekend everyone.

      Col ]:)

    • #3287977

      Mr. Squeezit Applebrain here,

      by dawgit ·

      In reply to Yuk’s Up!

      Well, at least I have a brain :p (and I’m not a tart)
      I wish all a good and safe week-end.
      (now I’m off to fight with the doctors, silly buggers want me to go to the Hosp. -I’m trying to stay out of one for a whole year, I though I would make it too.)

      • #3287976

        take care :x

        by gadgetgirl ·

        In reply to Mr. Squeezit Applebrain here,

        let us know how you get on

        GG

      • #3287969
        Avatar photo

        I almost made it as well

        by hal 9000 ·

        In reply to Mr. Squeezit Applebrain here,

        But my mother went into Horesiptal to have her Gall Bladder Removed for the second time. Apparently back in 1989 they only did the absolute mini mun to make her well and now they have to do the job properly. X-(

        As I’m officially [b]Allergic[/b] to both Hosepitals and Doctors I try to avoid them at every opportunity, if I don’t I break out in Hives. :_|

        There is only one thing worse than Horesiptals and that is the Dentist. Those evil sods enjoy their work way too much for my liking. 🙁

        Col

      • #3287834

        Update on that, (I think)

        by dawgit ·

        In reply to Mr. Squeezit Applebrain here,

        Today my the nurse from my Doctors office (one of them) calls me on my handy (cell-phone, for the non? folks) to tell me that I should go to the hosp., NOW. That’s not usually a good thing to hear on a Friday afternoon. (after 4 pm at that) Well, I’m not pregnant, so I asked if maybe she might just explain that just a little better, as I should, at least have something to tell the those folks in the white coats.
        Here’s what I’ve been told, (the Doc got on the phone also) The lab results of my blood work (the second time, because the first results were bad, -for me!) came back and ind?cated that my Potassium was High. Ok, and that is all? Silly question on my part. (PotassiumCloride can be used as salt, but in excess it can stop the heart, as in for surgery, on to put some-one to ‘sleep’ ]:) or in my case 🙁 ) While the Doc is explaining this to me in a very concerned voice the nurse is on the other phone asking if I need an amblance. (that did not cheer me up) Keep in mind I AM a heart patiant. (tsk-tsk, I try NOT to remember that which upsets the Docs). So I guess I’ll behave for a little while and go by the Hosp tomorrow and then we’ll see.
        Thanks for the concern you two. (& it’s nice to have some not all excited about this and just a little bit rational) So Col, are we in a race on this? To see who goes in first? (I do believe, though first one in is the looser 🙁 )
        I’ll let every one know what’s what. (when I find out myself)
        again Thanks. -d

        • #3287813

          Sorry to hear it

          by w2ktechman ·

          In reply to Update on that, (I think)

          So, I must be in this race too, as my doc always calls concerned about my health (or payment). She hates that I refuse my meds, and have told her that “when its time, its time”, and “I don’t need those meds, I dont take pills”
          Honestly, I do, but they are vitamins. Aside from that, pills are not my friend.
          If I go, then, so be it. But I dont plan on leaving anytime soon. No matter what the doc keeps telling me.
          So hang in there, and hopefully everything will work out!

        • #3287793
          Avatar photo

          Well at least you got an explanation

          by hal 9000 ·

          In reply to Update on that, (I think)

          Whenever the Doctors Receptionist rings me to tell me that I have an appointment that I didn’t ask for I’m not told why I have to go to the Quacks, though I can have a fair guess. 🙁

          But I guess that I’m the looser here as I’ve been going to the Horespital/Meat works since the 6-12-2006 but I’m only visiting so maybe that doesn’t count.

          The last time that I had a Blood Test done I got the [b]Good News[/b] about everything that was wrong with me and I listened intently and when he finished I said [b]So basically I need to eat more sugar no problem I’ll get on it straight away.[/b]

          Not exactly what the quack wanted to hear but it worked and I’m not on any more drugs than normal and I’ll keep it that way for as long as possible though I do drive my GP insane by telling him that I only drink [b]Under Medical Supervision[/b] I go down to a friends place who is a surgeon and drink his Scotch while he’s there so if anything does go wrong I have a doctor present to do whatever is necessary. Knowing John that would be to sign the Death Certificate and declare me dead. 😀

          Col

    • #3287973

      Zippy Gizzardbrain chiming in here….

      by maevinn ·

      In reply to Yuk’s Up!

      THE BURNED OUT GYNECOLOGIST:

      A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and was on the verge of being burned out. Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to change careers and became an auto mechanic. He found out from the local technical college; what was involved, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently and learned all he could. When the time for the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill.

      When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%. Fearing an error, he called the instructor saying, “I don’t want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wondered if there has been an error that needs adjusting?”

      The instructor said, “During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly which is also worth 50% of the mark.” The instructor went on to say, “I gave you an extra 50% because you did all of it through the muffler.

    • #3287963

      Lets see

      by jamesrl ·

      In reply to Yuk’s Up!

      Pinky Cootiechunks

      Sorry, it doesn’t scan well.

      James

    • #3287954

      Buttercup Cootie-Brain

      by wallowamichael ·

      In reply to Yuk’s Up!

      Sounds like something my gay brother-in-law would come up with, but I’m still laughing.

    • #3287949

      Since a letter is missing

      by w2ktechman ·

      In reply to Yuk’s Up!

      I do not have a first name (o is not listed)
      so my last name only, would be Bubble Fanny

      • #3289752

        some deduction can do wonders

        by rob mekel ·

        In reply to Since a letter is missing

        As GG stated that “George W. Bush’s new first name is Goober” … ergo yours will be Goober

        So welcome to you Goober Bubble Fanny

        Rob

        • #3289542

          Not too happy with Goober

          by w2ktechman ·

          In reply to some deduction can do wonders

          but some may agree that it fits, so I will go with it for now.

          Although Never mention me in the same light as George W. Bush ever again, Got It!

          lol, should I say please don’t?

        • #2502460

          Arrrgggh

          by rob mekel ·

          In reply to Not too happy with Goober

          should have sticked to the “George whatever” part as I stated out to GG (http://techrepublic.com.com/5208-6230-0.html?forumID=102&threadID=205709&messageID=2134489)

          For sure that’s the reason you didn’t find the translation for the “o” to Goober 😀 😉

          Rob

        • #2502333

          Apology Accepted.

          by w2ktechman ·

          In reply to Arrrgggh

          Ok, I accept the new name under the “George whatever” framework.

          Thank You for giving me a first name!

        • #2502150

          Don’t

          by rob mekel ·

          In reply to Apology Accepted.

          thank me but GG. She is the one who put in the “George whatever” translation. 🙂
          I was just trying to be helpfull.

          [i]now I wonder what would be the first name if he/she now is called “poppy” [/i] 😉

          Rob

    • #3287914

      Pinky Bubbletush?

      by dryflies ·

      In reply to Yuk’s Up!

      Well it’s half right. but I am not even close to a “pinky”

    • #3287913

      A Christmas Story – posted by Zippy Apple-Tushie

      by dmambo ·

      In reply to Yuk’s Up!

      Just ripped off from an e-mail my wife received, but it fits my spirit of the season.

      A Christmas Story

      ‘Twas the night before Christmas an’ Old Santa was pissed,
      He cussed out the elves and threw down his list,
      Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks,
      I have a good mind to scrap the whole bloody works!

      I’ve worked off my ass for damn near a year,
      Instead of “Thanks Santa”–what do I hear?
      The old lady bitches ’cause I work late at night,
      The elves want more money–The reindeer all fight.

      Rudolph got drunk and screwed all the maids,
      Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS,
      And just when I thought that things must get better
      The damn IRS sent me a letter,
      They say I owe taxes–if that ain’t damn funny
      Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus money?

      And the kids these days-they’re all the pits,
      They want the impossible – the mean little shits,
      I spent the whole year making wagons and sleds
      Assembling dolls…their arms, legs and heads
      In all the letters I received, not one asked for them,
      They want robots and computers…they think – I’m IBM!

      Flying through the air…dodging the trees
      Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
      I’m quitting this job there’s just no enjoyment
      I’ll sit on my arse and draw unemployment.

      There’s no Christmas this year now you know the reason,
      I found me a blonde. I’m going SOUTH for the season

    • #3287910

      Oh my..

      by maecuff ·

      In reply to Yuk’s Up!

      I’m Pinky Bubblemouth.
      I’m not entirely sure, but I think my husband will be pleased.

      • #3287905

        Too Funny!

        by dryflies ·

        In reply to Oh my..

        That is hilarious!

      • #3287898

        I’ll bet JD’s real name is…

        by dmambo ·

        In reply to Oh my..

        …James Oppenheimer. That works out to Pinky Hamstertush. It seems to fit his lifestyle.

        Poor little hamsters. 🙁

      • #3287894

        oops..

        by maecuff ·

        In reply to Oh my..

        I didn’t read the directions thoroughly.

        I’m actually Buttercup Bubblemouth. But my husband can still call me pinky if he wants.

    • #3287903

      I couldn’t resist…my first post/reply…

      by kellster ·

      In reply to Yuk’s Up!

      I’m Boobie Cootie Fanny – I guess that about covers it all!

    • #3287876

      New mergers

      by mjd420nova ·

      In reply to Yuk’s Up!

      For those of you who try to keep up with the changing corpoate landscape, here’s a few new mergers that are in the works for 2007.

      Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Co. will merge and become Hale, Mary, Fuller Grace.

      Polygram Records, Warner Brothers, and Zesta Crackers join forces and become Poly, Warner Cracker.

      3M will merge with Goodyear and become MMMGood.

      Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco and Dakota Mining will merge and become ZipAudiDoDa.

      FedEx wil join its competitor UPS and become FedUp.

      Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become FairWell HoneyChild.

      Grey Poupon and Docker Pants will become Poupon Pants.

      Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become KnottNOW.

      Victoria’s Secret and Smith and Wesson will merge to become Titty Titty Bang Bang.

      May everyone have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

    • #3287849

      Poopsie Cootiebrain is mine…

      by cmiller5400 ·

      In reply to Yuk’s Up!

      Now, that is insulting :0

      edit: flipping emoticons

    • #3287814

      Dear Heaven

      by tig2 ·

      In reply to Yuk’s Up!

      I am “Chim Chim Girdletush. Which isn’t as bad as it sounds. My partner is Flunky Girdlefanny”.

      None of which is as bad as Boobie Gerbilkisser or Greasy Liverlips!

      Cute, GG!

      • #3287791
        Avatar photo

        Well actually I’m

        by hal 9000 ·

        In reply to Dear Heaven

        Arty Bart-Fast and I know what 42 actually meas as well. But I’m not telling anyone so you can all suffer while I go on to control everything. 😀 :^0 😀 :^0

        Now who wants to tell me just how much the [b]White Mice[/b] are willing to pay for their long awaited question? :p

        Col ]:)

    • #3287810

      I most definately am NOT

      by jdclyde ·

      In reply to Yuk’s Up!

      “Greasy liverlips”! X-(

    • #2501865

      Just call me Skipper Burger Fanny . . . . . . . .

      by maxwell edison ·

      In reply to Yuk’s Up!

      (I must lay-off of those Big Macs!)

Viewing 26 reply threads