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CXO

20 worst-named tech products, ever

By fakecnet November 3, 2011, 10:28 PM PDT

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20 worst-named tech products, ever

Qwikster

Qwikster

ntCompanies agonize over what to name a product, and we certainly recognize how difficult a process it is to come up with a good name.

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ntOver the years, we’ve seen lots of good ones; the Palm Pilot, the Motorola Razr, TiVo, the Flip cam, are just a few.

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ntBut today we’re not here to celebrate success. No, let us to rejoice in failure and admire some of the truly bad–and, in some cases, truly awful–names that have come along in the last 10 years or so.

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ntHere’s the newest addition to the list. Netflix’s sudden plan to split the company in two and change the name of its DVD delivery service to Qwikster didn’t go over so well, and the company quickly nixed the name and put Humpty Dumpty back together again.
nt
ntWhile it may be a little hard to separate the name from the ill-conceived launch, any way you slice it, Qwikster just feels off–and not in a good way.

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ntIn this gallery, we’ll list the top 20 worst names as chosen by CNET editors – and identify the top 5 chosen by CNET’s Brian Cooley.

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ntCaptions: David Carnoy CNET
20 worst-named tech products, ever

Cool-er

Cool-er

ntWe begin the countdown of the five worst names with a tie for number 5. Cool names? not! The Cool-er stood for cool e-reader. It wasn’t so cool, but it did come in a lot of colors.

20 worst-named tech products, ever

cuil

cuil

ntAlso at number 5, Cuil was a search engine that forgot to find a good name.

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ntCaption by David Carnoy

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20 worst-named tech products, ever

Samsung :)

Samsung :)

ntSamsung’s Smiley phone actually had the famous smiley-face emoticon in its name. Ouch. Bad idea all around. We’re number 4.

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ntPhoto by: Samsung

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ntCaption by: David Carnoy

20 worst-named tech products, ever

Pentax *ist series

Pentax *ist series

ntNever a good idea to put a * in a name. Guess it stands for artist or whatever. It’s number 3.

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ntPhoto by: Pentax

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ntCaption by: David Carnoy

20 worst-named tech products, ever

mRobe

mRobe

ntThe mRobe ranks as the second worst-named product of all time. Once again, we think something got lost in the Japanese translation. The word was, an Olympus executive liked the idea of a product that you could come home to and slip on like a robe. (There was some comfort factor involved, if memory serves correct.)

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ntPhoto by: Olympus

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ntCaption by: David Carnoy

20 worst-named tech products, ever

TrekStor iBeat Blaxx

TrekStor iBeat Blaxx

ntThere have been lots of poorly named MP3 players over the years. (Samsung Yepp, anyone?) However, Germany-based TrekStor’s iBeat Blaxx may go down in history as one the most unfortunately named tech products of all time after people accused the product of being racist. It made number 1 on our list.
nt
ntShortly after it launched, TrekStor CTO Gil Szmigiel, apologized for the misunderstanding and renamed the product the TrekStor Blaxx.

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nttPhoto by: TrekStor

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nttCaption by: David Carnoy

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20 worst-named tech products, ever

Ping

Ping

ntApple has a dud every once in a while, and Ping makes our list.

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ntScreenshot: Apple

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ntCaption by: David Carnoy

20 worst-named tech products, ever

G'zOne

G'zOne

ntCasio’s line of ultrarugged G’zOne offer a lesson in the hazards of playing around with Caps key on the keyboard.

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ntPhoto by: Casio

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ntCaption by: David Carnoy

20 worst-named tech products, ever

Cisco Cius

Cisco Cius

ntCisco’s business tablet is pronounced see-us. Some might pronounce it more like tschuss, which means goodbye in German.

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ntPhoto by: Cisco

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ntCaption by: David Carnoy

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20 worst-named tech products, ever

Chestnut Hill Sound George

Chestnut Hill Sound George

ntBy George, we actually liked the Chestnut Hill Sound George when we reviewed it a few years back. It has a detachable remote that mimicked the iPod’s interface and sounded good, too.
nt
ntWe’re not quite sure why it was called the “George,” but we seem to remember one of the company reps mentioning something about being the first of its kind and a George Washington connection.

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ntPhoto by: Chestnut Hill

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ntCaption by: David Carnoy

20 worst-named tech products, ever

Gizmondo

Gizmondo

ntThe Gizmondo was a portable gaming device that never quite made it to market but spent a lot of time in trade show booths, which featured models wearing white Gizmondo T-shirts.

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ntCaption by: David Carnoy

20 worst-named tech products, ever

eee PC

eee PC

ntThree Es all in a row do not make for a great name. Maybe if they capitalized one?

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ntPhoto by: Asus

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ntCaption by: David Carnoy

20 worst-named tech products, ever

iMuffs

iMuffs

ntThe iMuffs are a Bluetooth headset.

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ntCaption by: David Carnoy

20 worst-named tech products, ever

Plastic Logic Que

Plastic Logic Que

ntA few people queued up online to preorder the Plastic Logic Que e-reader. But they never got it because it never came to market.

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nttPhoto by: Plastic Logic

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nttCaption by: David Carnoy

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20 worst-named tech products, ever

Sony Slingbox

Sony Slingbox

ntSony’s Slingbox competitor actually worked pretty well, but “Location-Free TV” didn’t quite make sense as a name.

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ntCaption by: David Carnoy

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nt 

20 worst-named tech products, ever

Sony Muteki

Sony Muteki

ntSorry, Sony, for putting so many of your products on the list, but you make a lot of tech products. We’re not sure what the Muteki name is supposed to evoke, but it kind of sounds like mutant tech. If that’s what you were going for, bravo.

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ntPhoto by: Sonynt

nttCaption by: David Carnoy

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20 worst-named tech products, ever

Sony Qriocity

Sony Qriocity

ntQriocity did not kill the cat. It is Sony’s streaming-movie and -music service.

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nttPhoto by: Qriocity

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nttCaption by: David Carnoy

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20 worst-named tech products, ever

Sony Rolly

Sony Rolly

ntSony’s break-dancing Bluetooth speaker, the Rolly, is pretty amusing to watch the first 10 times you see it in action. As a name, the Rolly isn’t as bad as some on the list, but it has never been quite clear how to pronounce it. (Is it Roll-y or Rollie, like Rollie Fingers?)

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ntPhoto by: Sony

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ntCaption by: David Carnoy

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20 worst-named tech products, ever

Tivoli iYiYi

Tivoli iYiYi

ntOy vey, it’s the Tivoli iYiYi.

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ntPhoto by: Tivoli

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ntCaption by: David Carnoy

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