"Sad call center girl"

You’d be sad, too, if you showed up to your new gig in your finest camo blouse only to learn you were going to be stuck talking on a flip phone all day.

"IT service team group"

A versatile quartet, these folks can troubleshoot your software while simultaneously delivering, you guessed it, pizza.

"Hacker Hacking Computers"

If you only see this photo for its laughable depiction of cyber crime, you’ll miss its more subtle comedy elements–like the “Sign In” prompt in 1 million-point size.

"IT programmers working with laptop"

Dude on left: “You the man!”

Dude in center: “You the man!”

Dude on right: “I’m the man from the pizza shot, remember?”

"Angry man"

Grr. this man is so angry at that bad tech thing that happened that his shirt turned red. Personally, we’d be upset we worked a gig at the only IT firm without a casual-dress policy.

"Working with dog in the office"

First off, the IT person in this photo is not working “with” the dog. The dog is just sitting there, probably thinking about how dog-friendly companies are fun for the humans, but not so much the dogs.

"Group of confident business people in smart casual wear looking at the laptop together"

Remember, to maintain the harmonic balance and gender-wage gap, make sure your ratio of “IT Guys With Beards” to “IT Women Without Beards” is 3:2.

"Workaholic businessman in hospital working with mobile and computer laptop"

The bad news is this IT guy can’t tear himself away from a screen even while in the midst of a health crisis. The good news is his doctors managed to save the beard. Whew!

"Happy successful man in glasses with raised hands sitting at workplace in office"

We come here not to begrudge IT Guy With Beard’s moment of triumph. We come here to question whether he’s just developed a killer app, or found out Trader Joe’s is opening in his neighborhood.

"​Portrait of smiling woman and PC repairman fixing computer at office"

The man on the right is our hero. He’s going to fix that g–damn computer for that g–damn happy person if it’s the last thing he does because it’s his g–damn job, and he’s not ashamed of hard work, or not having a beard.

"Young business people joining hands together for success"

Remember the guy who found out a new Trader Joe’s was opening? He just told the technical-sales team. They are stoked.

"Valentines Date Ideas Romance Love Dating Toast Concept"

The word soup of this photo’s headline is matched in hilarity by the idea that an IT professional (with a beard!) would have trouble finding a date and/or human connection. Ha!

"Man drinking beer using PC"

Are there really IT guys out there who drink beer from pizza-parlor mugs rather than from the lovingly made bottles of small-craft breweries? No, we don’t think so, either.

"Cool man taking a selfie"

Uh, sorry, dude, but this is the least-cool-looking photo of an allegedly cool man ever. Next time skip the selfie, and just use the phone to order the pizza.

Also see: Photos: Our 10 favorite stereotypical hacker stock photos