Finish this statement...

.. you change the point value of your question to be a binary number.

20?

Since the answer to life the universe and everything is 0010 1010,
That must be the answer.

Seriously, you know you are a computer support person when NOTHING a user does wrong suprises you.

Chas

the first thing you say to any person is " are you sure you're computer is turned on?"

I vote for answer# 2 TheChas

I'll try anyway, what the heck

You know you're a computer support guy when....you have no life!

Or you can't remember what your wife looks like...oops better stop that could be a good thing.

It should read computer support "person", sexist!!

...the phone rings at 2am and the first thing they say is "I tried everything before calling you!"

You know you're a computer support guy when...
you are standing at the checkout of the grocery store and you want to tweak the cash register to make it go faster

Mike

you've got the spare bedroom set up as a server room and are debating installing cubicles in the den.

When other people call you to support their computer

The point value of your question in binary is:
10011101111110, now if you are saying that you converted it from 10110 to Dec than you would have 22 as your answer.

At any rate,

You know you are a computer junky when you point out things like that.

The funniest entries win as judged by me, because they are my points to give away.

well... they are TechRepublic's points from which they have entrusted to me to give away. All points are the property of TechRepublic and may be reclaimed at any time without any prior notice. The TechRepublic Technical Q & A design and functionality are licensed from Experts Exchange?, The Knowledge Sharing Company.

... you add a disclaimer to ensure that your frivolous question is not deleted by the Q&A Forum Moderators.

....the only people who call you need computer help whether at work or home or anyplace else.

....something that has not worked in "ages," you fix so that it works for ages more!

The computing world must revolve around my operating system, and, if installed correctly, it never needs support.
-Bill Gates

My database software is the greatest. If installed correctly, it never needs support
-Larry Ellison (Oracle)

Buy anApple. They never need support.
-Steve Jobs

I invented computer support.
-Al Gore

You just gotta’ open the hood, dig in and get with it, Larry.
-Ross Perot

I have no computer support tools of mass instruction
-Sadam Hussain

Computer supporte? What’s computer supporte?
-Dan Quayle

No, no, no. President Bush is the top computer support person.
-Dick Cheney

Ask not what computer support can do for you, but ask what you can do for computer support.
-John F. Kennedy

Only Democrats are capable of providing computer support.
-Tom Daschle

You need a decent, hardworking American to provide computer support.
-Pat Buchanan

Computer support Sam-I-am. Computer support man-I-am. You can have it from your house. You can have it for your mouse. You can have it in the rain. You can have it from a train. You can have it here or there. You can have it anywhere.
-Dr Seuss

In my day we did all our own computer support – after walking 10 miles in knee high snow.
-Grandpa

I did not provide computer support for that woman.
-Bill Clinton

I AM THE GREATEST computer support person
-Muhammad Ali

I insist on a “prenup” before I provide computer support.
-Donald Trump

Your computer froze? Join the club.
-Ted Williams

You post questions like this in a Technical Q & A Forum, because you and every body else on here (me included) finds it funny to reply.

You feel happier sat in front of a computer staring at a blue screen of death than watching the TV in the evenings.

When the best laugh you had during the day was this Q & A on Tech Repulic. But couldn't find all the email spam jokes - that you had to work around to block the whole day - funny.

When a user in production calls you up if you can turn on the heatbecause it's the second time that his/her computer froze (well it actualy happened).

You're so keen to answer ANY technical question that you resort to answering even questions like this.

have a lan connection at your bed, a server in the next room, collection of lan cables in your car, end up taking IT commecials such as IBM's on your VCR and have a collection of palm pilots enough to seem like a museum.

. . everything that everyone else tries fails, but it just magicly works when you show up...Hey! How did you do that? I swear it was not working! Really!

..your watching the game, the phone rings, the caller ID shows it's "Mommy Dearest" and you know the only reason she ever calls is to ask for step by step by step "SUPPORT" for the hi-tech computer you built for her. If you don't pick up the cell phone will ring, then the pager is next to go off. If you still don't answer sure as hell, it'll be an emergency of some type and she'll never forgive you. Or she'll send the police over worried that something terrible may have happened. Might as well fire up the VCR and plan on watching the rest of the game later. HUH!

...you realize that there are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don't.

The Binary number should add up to 25,being it is X-Mas day.

You know that you are a computer support person,when you get a caller,states that what I think that I am typing is not coming up on the screen like it is suppose to.

You realize that a PC will start working again if anyone walks in the room with a badge that say "Tech"

you have tried everything in your cpacity to solve a critical problem and nothing works at that time and you are reminded who you are with everyone breathing down your neck with fire.

Failing that, the next questions you ask are:
is it plugged in?
and do you have power in your area?

What about taking the time to document this lovely error:

http://www.backbonetech.com.au/images/lol.JPG

...you can fix the problem that Bill Gates created

or

...everybody hates you when you can't fix the problem

INT
(International Network Transpondence]

Point value changed by question poster. -- I agreed that the binary number should be 25 for christmas. That will also be the date that I close this question. Keep the posts coming! Very funny so far.

people are more interested in you and what you can do for them than the athletic supporter.

you understand windows has nothing to do with glass(other than it's just as fragile!!).

Fdisk/format/reload are your three best friends.

supersize means sound blaster audigy, 128meg video, 160+ gig of disk space, 2 gig of ram,...

And lastly you have no life because you're writing and reading these! Have a Merry Christmas everyone!

you keep alive the faint hope that some day, a user will call you at 8am Monday morning just to tell you that their PC is working fine.

You know more IP addresses than phone numbers.

-or-

The last woman you picked up was a JPEG.

-or-

You send e-mail to the person sitting next to you.

... you feel that the digital divide cannot rule in your family, so you decide to teach your mother-in-law how to use computer :-(

... you're greeted with the news your company is closed for the holidays, making this a good time for you to work on everyone's computers.

... you can spot a false smile from across the room, and just for fun count the seconds before the conversation turns into an 'oh by the way' tech question regarding their home computer.

... you seriously consider running a help wanted ad for 'reboot specialist', knowing it would actually make your job easier.

... instead of surfing for bikini-lessbleach blondes online like everyone else, you find yourself actually researching tech republic articles like this and ended up here. Have a great holiday everyone!

Your girlfriend ties your hands with the ground strap you always wear.

... when you start teaching your "non-computer-savy" employees at your company how to use instant messenging to coordinate who is going to pick up lunch.

You ask the wife if she'd like her floppies re-formatted and she tells you that the only way you'll get 'inter-face' is with the dog!

when anyone outside of work asks you for assistance, and you tell them you can't help them without a trouble ticket number :o)

... you jokingly tell a user with a workstation problem to "jiggle the cable," and you get written up for sexual harrassment.

You know you're a,"(wannabie)", computer support guy when your car dies on the way to your day job & the first thing you think of is rebooting it-
ok,not that funny-but I have to say some of these are crackin me up!!Great Idea & happy Hollidays to ya all...

Your friends and people at your job ask you to fix their computers or dumb questions related to it...

You know you're a computer support guy when...

You complain about staring at or working with computers all day and when you get home, the first thing that you do is turn on your computer and go online or play games.

When over the years, your belt begins to look like Batman?s utility belt.

while i visit any office the personnel said : Hey... Don't let him go,Don't let him go or if I am on a phone line working the manager said don't loose that call ,please...!

you sit down for a quiet dinner with the family and you email questions like, "How was your day?" to your wife and kids and they are sitting at the table with you.

Keep it up, this is hilarious. :)

When you are the only one that knows what the any-key key is

When during love making with your wife you ask her are you ready to insert the disk?

.... when you ponder whether your computer is faster than your car and if it is, what's your chance of using it to pick up the office tramp.

... when you get excited about laying cable and your at the office.

You know you are a computer guy when the first question you ask the user is can you put legos together?

when people say that 1+1 is always 2 and your first thought is or 10.

you really wish that there was magic server pixy dust, well atleast for the times when you can't fix them right away and everyone's breathing down your neck on monday morning.really got to stop using weekends as a chance to catch up game playing.

the creativity of your users ceases to amaze you.

Your Managing Director genuinely believes that all problems can be cured by a reboot, but always calls you before doing so.

...when the books you take to read on your vacation are about vi and emacs.

I yam Popeye of Borg...prepare to be askimilated!

peace and good cheer to all

When your baby is born and the Nurse asks
you to cut the cord, you instinctivley reach for your crimping tool on your belt.

When you're sick you dream in 16 color 640X480

While you're busy securing your network by day, your alter ego is homeat night trying to hack into it

Yes, of course the data is mission critical,
no, (mumble, mumble, wringing of hands) there isn't a backup and, er,
by the way, I need it in 20 minutes for a presentation!

You know you're a computer support guy when...

? blue screens make you, suddenly, worry with no apparent reason; and red boxes turns you sad by memories of better times that will never come back!

Jose P Mir
jpm@jpmir.net

when users give you 32Bit Words but most of them are FF

You're always mumbling the phrase "Dumb Users".

You know you're a computer support "guy" when people are always asking you how to...

set up their VCR's.

connect all the components to their brand new surround sound, large screen entertainment system.

fix their telephone.

change the time on the digital clock in their car when daylight savings takes effect.

you answer your home phone and say "I.T. the is (your name here)"

.... when you go drinking with the other employees from work and they tell you "your alot cooler than I ever imagined."

... you develop a troubleshooting flowchart to diagnose and stop your newborn daughter's crying.

... you post the above mentioned chart above the crib, plotted on E size paper. The last item on the chart is "if all else fails, wake the baby's mother".

... you carry a USB drive on your keychain to show off all of the baby pictures from your digital camera to the users that you support instead of photos in your wallet.

Merry Christmas 'yall

You know you're a computer support guy when...

while reading these...you think the letters l o l....in your head!!!

You know you're a computer support guy when you look into... ooh hold on, there's the phone....

You know you're a computer support guy when...

Your name has been changed to Fred...

http://www.cdw.com/webcontent/land/page/fred/fredscorner.asp

... you have some spare time and you surf to www.techrepublic.com.

You carry the can...

... when your nipples get hard when walking by the computer store and not your local Fredrick's of Hollywood.

... when you are stuck at the office for long hours on low pay, with years of spasms in your back, headaches all day, and extra weight you did not have 6 years ago.

... when you see nothing but keyboards and error messages in your sleep.

... when you start troubleshooting why the toliet at home is not working using a multimeter.

I did not read any other posts here so if I gave the same answers as someone else, I am sorry.

...You issue a memo stating:
?New Network Security Policy?
As of next week, all passwords will be entered in Morse code!
...You say ?it ain't over 'til the FAT Table sinks?...
...You know that network management is like trying to herd cats!
...You wear a T-Shirt printed with the words: REAL programmers aren't afraid to use GOTO's
...You realize in departmental meetings that, The smaller the issue, the bigger the fight!!!

you answer the phone at home, "help desk"

You know you're a computer support guy when...
Not a day passes by without someone asking you something.You dont have enough time to do anything, but yet, you spend those very few precious minutes you have at home with your lovely COMPUTER insteadof paying attention to your wife and kids. Dinner is ready and you dont wanna go down, and have an argument with your wife, because you dont even have space in your desk to eat. You stay till 2 or 3 in the morning in your computer while your wife treatens you with leaving you, but you dont care, because you are probably coding something, or in Stage 7 of some online game, or chatting with some girl which is probably uglier than your current wife. You dont exercise, hate going to malls (expect when you go to Sofware etc) and love delivery food. You wont throw your 5 year old dinasour computer away because you think you can still make it work with a few more 2457 upgrades, and your wife/girlfriend thinks you suck because you dont like to go out to a nightclub and dance. You prefer to enjoy a 6 pack of beer in front of your monitor. I think that's all. If I left something out,I will write again. Cya

-the thought of getting this many points is actually exciting
-when you start off menaingful conversations with your children with "you know I was talking to someone on TechRepublic this morning
-you understand the basis of Binary and Hex well enough to argue that the value of points should equal Christmas
-when you actuall worry that your tech points look puny next to someone elses

You're also known as the BOFH!!

you try to explain something simple, and the users you are trying to explain it too look at you dumbfounded and say, could you please repeat that in English.

your convinced your the 'cool' computer guy and everyone else is a geek

...the answer to every problem is to wipe and reinstall Windows

You accidenly answer your phone "Help desk,
how may I help you"...and it turns out to be a
friend asking for computer help

You lie to people about what you do for a living because they always have an question for you..

You get the joke "12:00 flasher"

after sex, you ask your default partner to do a reboot and try again!

....when binary causes you to drink stale coffee.

1) when the only convversation you have with some people is answering the same question as last time, knowing that you will be sharing a cup of coffee with them tomorrow and they won't remember how to do what you just taught them.

2) when your spouse calls you at work and asks for tech support.

...you can't wait for lunchtime or the end of the day so you can get some work done while all those "users" are off the computers.

...your home office holds 3 or 4 old computers in various stages of undress, while you transfer files to your newest one, then prepare your just-retired one for your spouse, then set up his old one to give your kids, then make over their old one to pass on to your brother's kids, and hope you can find time between phone calls to get it all done by Christmas.

...at the company party, men remark that they did not recognize you "all dressed up".

you suggest RAM and a reboot as the cure for Alzheimer's disease.

the server room has a cot with your name on it.

calm the angry, educate the simple minded, enlighten the so called savvy, and receive praises from the person on the phone while thinking the whole time about how you are going to waste everybody in the next Quake match.

You know you're a computer support guy when... you finish this sentence.