friday yuk

Some people here feel marginalized and want to make a contribution. They also don't realize that there really are more people on the other side of a camera lens than just the camera operator. Add those two disparate elements together and you get some really dumb answers when you ask folks that don't know.

Then, remember that these are the people that didn't walk away from the camera knowing full well that there will be many more Borats walking the streets.

I wonder how many correct answers they had to edit out to get those few really ignorant answers.

But someone in work has given this to me and I have to pass it on because it's driving me crazy!!!

Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best...

And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...

If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing.

And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...

For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.

So always look on the bright side of death
Just before you draw your terminal breath

Life's a piece of sh!t
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.

And always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the right side of life...
(Come on guys, cheer up!)
Always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the bright side of life...
(Worse things happen at sea, you know.)
Always look on the bright side of life...
(I mean - what have you got to lose?)
(You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing.
What have you lost? Nothing!)
Always look on the right side of life...

I have another impure one to sell into slavery? :^0

My Bank Balance hasn't moved for a few days so another large deposit wouldn't go astray and I plan to clean up the impure ones on TR even if I die trying but I'll get rid off all the impurity first and them die knowing what a great service I've managed to achieve. :0

Col ]:)

After all you are the one who claimed to be a 61 year Old Dirty Old Man attempting to impersonate a 12 year old girl so you must be blond to even want to think of something as sick as that. :0

[b]We present the Facts and allow you to decide.[/b] :p

Col ]:)

And you won't make anymore cash from us! I have a plan a top secret plan

It's a bloody great big Bomb Shelter that can survive a Nuclear blast at ground zero. It's the only place that I can think could be safe from Mae's shovel. :0

Col ]:)

.

I at least TRY to understand..... :D

I have an idea, TR should allow you to have a link that brings up a map of the country and state/providence/territory!

I was going to load google earth 4, but my work system can't handle it... :(

Is allowing you access to a computer when there is no Internet coverage in the middle of the desert and she is flat out keeping her Electric Cattle Prod charged? :0

I think that I'll have to start calling you [b]The Brain[/b] as you have delusions of overthrowing the world don't you? :p

Now if I just mix a bit of this with that and force it down this Lab Rats mouth lets see what happens. :D :^0 :D :^0 :D :^0

Col ]:)

I was trying to direct attention away from me, but it didnt work :(

.

Damn how many times am I going to have to protest in this yuk??

ok 1 - I am NOT male, I was trying to wind up Col but it backfired on me :(

2 - I am NOT blonde I was until I was 12 then I kinda grew out of it.

3 - I am NOT a bottled brunette, it was that colour before I died it so theres no attempt at AI there!!

but really I'm not blonde thick am I?? please say im not :(

but I can't understand you. Maybe Col can translate? Although it seems like he has gone more and more over to the dark side, and now I am having a hard time understanding HIM?

but lord, who has the time to keep up with it all?

At least I am just about done with MY school, so I can maybe FINALLY take the time?

If there is a single sport I would LIKE to watch on TV, it would have to be hockey. (does UCF fighting count as a sport?)

You hear about the [i] [/i]hockey team?

They drown in spring training.... :D

JD, I'm beggining to think your just trying to take the heat off yourself, and your love of men, by making everyone think I'm blonde!! ;)

Stop causing trouble, you you trouble causer you!!!

There is a pundit here in Canada by the name of Rick Mercer, who has done a couple of shows called "Talking to Americans" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BhTZ_tgMUdo)
The episode I saw he at least singled out people who should know better (for the most part), and asked questions of them.
I vaguely recall him saying in an interview later that there were a lot more people who got it right, but of course, they don't make as good theatre.
There was one I remember who got it and played along, finally asking Mercer if he was right in the head! That was in Seattle I think. That was as funny as the dumb answers!

In an effort to clean up TR I'm selling all the impure ones into slavery and so far those have all been female with just JD as the current single exception but once he recovers from the operation to turn him into a Unix he can carry his deleted [b]Family Jewels[/b] around in a jar just as a reminder to behave. :p

Currently I've got the good makings of a Harem in the middle of nowhere and I've got GG running the show as she's gone completely mad with her authority and is continually zapping everyone that she looks at with an electric cattle prod to make them behave. Currently the thing which is supposed to last 3 days on the batteries is lasting 15 minutes so she's really working hard to control the uncontrollable ones that shes now in charge of. :0

See what I good thing that I'm doing to purify TR? :D

Col ]:)

That rat that I've just feed that mixture to so I can now have a cuddly pink thing to play with. :D

Now that all the Blond hair has disappeared I don't need any shearers and I can just cut away whenever I feel like it. [b]OH life is so great.[/b] :^0

Now lets dissect that rat to see what the mixture did to it's internal organs this should be interesting. :D :^0 :D :^0

OH I've got to remember to encourage Steffi to climb that Jacobs Ladder shortly as well. Now that should be an interesting sight to see. :D :0

Col ]:)

Me, Tig, Mae, GG and Shell are going to beat you up and cause you lots of pain :D and we won't stop until your screaming like a little girl ;)

Was that in simple enough terms :p

But that doesn't change what people see as great fun?

Sean Hannety does a "Man on the street" segment where they ask random people on the streets questions like who Richard Cheney is, or who is the secretary of state, the words of the Star Spangled Banner, or other current events, and the American Idol crowd doesn't know and doesn't care. Blissfully ignorant.

Here is a clip of a proud Candian, right up on social events.
[b]WORK VIEWING WARNING! BRIEF AND UNATTRACTIVE NUDITY[/B]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ONgab0A2PWQ

:_|

don't ruin a good joke by pointing out that these were not the only people that were talked to. Someone might think that we are not ALL the uninformed? how silly of you.... :|

We have the technology to make you whatever you want to be. :D

So what would you like to be and I'll organise the operation to start shortly. :p

But as you claim that you where blond till you where 12 and Shelly continues to insist that you are 12 what's the problem?. You know what they say about blond females the hair colour cause their brain to shrink and the lost mass moves to the chest to give them all bigger Breasts! :0

And back in the Old Roman Days women would do almost anything to have blond hair as it singled them out as being professionals and highly sought after. :^0

Even Marilyn insisted that [b]Blonds Have More Fun![/b] :p

Col ]:)

It doesnt bother me what colour you think my hair to be, but there all calling me blonde as in dumb blonde. I dont wanna be picked on anymore :_| what did I do to deserve all this bullying :_| I just wanted you all to like me :_| Oh woe is me!!

As for sacrificing the brain to get bigger boobs, hey I could live with that! I only want and increase of two sizes I'd be happy with DD's ;) So I only have to lose a small portion of my brain, ooh can they take it from my ass instead?? Thats big enough to give me F's!! ;)

Tend to get accepted as Blonds for some strange reason. :p

As for Breast Size Changing no you can not chose where the stuff comes from God Made thing work that way Blonds have smaller brains and bigger breasts to make up for their diminished mental functions. But if you are really nice to me I know a surgeon who can perform work like that. He'll suck all the fat out of where ever you like and inject it back in where you want it. The only down side is that he's a [b]Dirty Old Man[/b] and demands pictures of before and after and then 6 months after the successful operation has been completed and everything looks normal again. He once did a job on one woman who could no longer stand up without support but when she fell forward she couldn't touch the floor with her face. :0

Oh BTW he doesn't settle for still pictures he wants movies. :D

Col ]:)

I'm willing to make pron errr medical movies ;)

Now the question, how much does he charge and will he give me discount if I let him be the first to "test" out the new boobs??

"methinks thou dost protest too much!"... at least on the blonde thing ;)

edit for fat fingers

Using that sentence against me huh??

But I do like girls!!
oops wrong one :0 but im not blonde!! thats what your accusing me of right?? I get so confused so easily!! :p

It appears that GG found a box of little high voltage motors with slightly offset cams which cause them to vibrate when run. She attached one to the cattle prod and cranked the voltage down. The result can only be described as "climatic". This appears to be the reason that she goes through power supplies so quickly.

It also seems that she got the box of motors from some guitar salesman. I talked to the guitar salesman and he said that he had received an order for a guitar to be delivered to Liverpool and a box of motors to be delivered to the tent. He didn't know who actually ordered them but it sounded like somebody pretending to be blonde.

While he was there, he lost consciousness after falling into a hole. It appears that somebody was digging a tunnel under the back of the tent and there was a soft area. He had gone out back to "relieve himself" but fell through a soft place in the sand. Since certain portions of his anatomy were already exposed it appears that they were made use of until he passed out. He does, however, remember seeing several nuclear powered shovels.

Another lead came from a driver who said he stopped in a parking lot next to a truck from Liverpool unloading boxes of motors into an underground electric train. The location of this train appears to be several miles from the tent but the train tunnel was aimed at the tent.

What do you make of all this? ?:|

He's retiring in a few months maybe.

Depends on if he can sell his practise before he reaches 65 but if he can't then there will be no big deal he'll work in the Public Hospital System and I can arrange the Hospital for you but you'll have to pay the airfare here.

As he'll be asleep now and up in about 6 hours I'll send a message to his pager and organise a Hospital Time for you.

I just need to know do you have any medical conditions other than being blond? As this may affect the time that you are on the table but a few tight wrappings will keep things where they should be and you'll look great after he finished though you may be unable to stand without support. :D

Knowing this guy you may need a trolley just to support all that extra weight on the front of you till you can undergo enough phyiso so you can actually stand up without leaning back at a 60 degree angle. :p

Col ]:)

I'm not saying that what you have written has any reason to worry anybody, but I suggest for your own safety you edit that post and just fill it with nonsence, quickly before anyone sees it!

If he can take it from anywhere, I do have a few spare pounds (or stone) that I would be willing to let him take away from me, I have a feeling that I will never see my shoes again, but thats no problem :D

but I don't have the time either! I just follow a single team (Go Leafs Go.... golfing!) and try and keep track of their standings!
I think UFC would make a better sport if they put them on ice with skates!
I can hear joe rogan now..
"Y'know, they really aren't supposed to use the skates that way...."

The train is how I get then delivered so if GG has found out about it and is getting stuff delivered with the Sheik paying for it I'm not overly worried as it's her head on the chopping block literally. :D

I would however warn that salesperson not to attend that place ever again as that Sultan isn't at all happy when his mechanise is misused no matter how rabid they are and instant to be serviced, he's kind of funny that way and as there is no one around any male caught there without reason and that is only the Unix that are there and me to check that the merchandise arrived in good working order they are in for a slight amount of trouble. :^0

Some sales just are not worth the risk in lost limb or appendage so maybe it would be a good idea to warn this poor guy of what could happen to him if he's caught. :0

If the train wasn't very big and air conditioned can you please let me know as that could be a problem that my client needs to know about. But keeping them there is his responsibility not mine and I believe that he's very hard on those who try to escape something about cutting things off so that they will never be attractive to him again and will remain unserviced ever again or something like that I'm not really sure what he was on about and Honestly I don't really want to know either. :p

Col ]:)

Steffi has sworn off wearing skirts except on the pedestal.

Anyway, what are you doing with the naked mole rat? You aren't trying gerbil stuffing are you? I have never understood how you are supposed to get gerbils to eat enough to become stuffed. ?:|

She used to be a stripper at the Zanzibar!

I mean not that i've ever been there!

That was a little frightening! However, if you insist on asking questions at Younge and Dundas in downtown TO, you're taking your life in your own hands!

and more than half of my family are foreigners (by marriage). Sometimes I get frustrated at how many idiots make the various forms of "the press" and how few of the less-dim bulbs come to light.

I am fairly proud of the country (if not its leadership) and just wish we wouldn't be so quick to self-deprecate all of the time.

I'll organise everything tomorrow or latter today as it's now about 1.30 am. :(

I'll send you a E-Mail with the Hospital Date and what time you have to turn up there to be admitted. I'll also throw in a copy of a enlargement that he has done but only if you promise not to look while at work. Actually it will not matter look anytime that you please as if you are caught at work it will mean immediate dismissal and that's probably what you'll need to get here in time for the Hospital. So they can escort you out the door to the airport and you can hop on a plane to AU straight away. :0

I'm going to get some shut eye now and I'll send the admitting times and any special stuff that you need to bring along after I've spoken to him. BTW as he keeps all this on his NB he'll be bringing it to me to clean up and he insists on showing me the pictures. It's a terrible job but someone has to do it. :^0

Col ]:)

I kind of like it! ]:)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZ7YedEopp4

someone is bound to report this as spam....

THE BRAIN OF A CANADIAN

This is a (supposedly)true incident that happened in Toronto

An Canadian man walked into a bank in Toronto one day and asked for the loan
officer.

He told the loan officer that he was going to Spain on business for two
weeks and needed to borrow $5,000. The bank officer told him that the bank
would need some form of security for the loan. The Canadian handed over the
keys to a new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produced
the title and everything checked out.

The loan officer agreed to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The
bank's president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh at the Canadian
for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An
employee of the bank then drove the Ferrari into the bank's underground
garage and parked it there.

Two weeks later, the Canadian returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest,
which came to $15.41.

The loan officer said, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business,
and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little
puzzled.

While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi
millionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow "$5,000"

The Canadian replied: "Where else in Toronto can I park my car for two weeks
for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"

This one is true. Happened in (I think it was) the Dominion Tower (or similar name).

It appears that some of the lawyers liked to show off things to the new hires (as often happens). The wind around the tower is pretty bad some times so the windows are made to withstand a lot of abuse (from the outside).

One of the lawyers liked to show this off by running up and slamming himself into a window and bouncing off of it. He had done this several times before.

One day he demonstrated this and found, to his dismay, that it didn't always work.

http://www.snopes.com/horrors/freakish/window.asp

(Edited because I wanted to.)

I think you covered that quite well indeed!

Appreciate you chiming in!

Hey Steffi, consider becoming what HAL calls a "bush fire blond"... also known as a red head.

I think that HAL is afraid of red heads...

doesnt really matter right now. Cause Steffi is in the desert somewhere without an Internet connection.
You already told us you were a 61 yr. old pervert impersonating a 12 yr. old girl. So get over it now! We know the truth, so leave it at that.

Whether or not you are a true blonde, or bleach blonde from this point does not matter as well. We are not interested in a blonde 61 yr. old male.

If you need help with those pics, I will extend an offer.
The more free porn the merrier... I mean before/after shows....

what is this gibberish going on about???

I just cant make sense of any of it.

so Steffi can come back and play with us all again!

Pleading ignorance will not save you. Not even a little bit!

:D

It appears that Tigger made a reference to me amongst the uninterpretable post. Hmmm. Maybe they are plotting against me? Then again, maybe they plan to nab me and force me to a beach party!

Ok, either way, it's cool. :)

well, sometimes it doesnt... I guess it depends who fights. I have seen a few where the ref had to get them to do something. Then they nab a few times and walk around again.

Anyway, most of the fights count.

You are best when a bit fiesty.

We wouldn't want JD not to know exactly what is going to happen to him now would we? And as it seems w2k wants us to do the same to him, the more the merrier I always say ;)

I'm really a stunning big breasted 21 year old nymphomaniac pretending to be a 61 year old dirty old man pretending to be a 12 year old girl???

Would you like me then??
;)

Did you enjoy that dear ;) ]:)

A trip to the chemist after work for me!!!

And they are not [b]Porn Photos[/b] they are Instructional Medical Photos so they are not looked at by the Censor under any circumstances. :D

Though some non-medical people may see them as Porn they really are not.

I'll let the person claiming to be Steffi tell you just how big she is going to end up after some therapeutic Cloning of Fat Cells removed from the But, Abs and Upper Thighs. It has the added advantage of this person never being able to put on any more weight in those areas as well because Fat Cells [b]Can Not[/b] be grown in an Adult Body so once they are injected into the Bust they will only make that area of the body bigger. :0

Mind you on the down side this one will have to continually exercise to make sure that their Pelvis has enough muscle over it so that it doesn't cut anything that it is up against to bits. :^0

When the extended Operation is finished this one should look great but may have a slight problem in gaining access to aircraft because of the size that she will be in certain parts of the body if it is actually a female. :p

Col ]:)
[i]Edited to Add[/i] once this operation is finished no one will care if this one is Blond as their eyes will never get close enough to any areas with hair to notice. :^0

You have a major operation coming up very soon so there can be no possibility of any injury occurring at all [b]UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES![/b] :p

I spent hours arranging these operations that you asked me to and I don't like to see my time & effort wasted I get really mean then. :(

Col

i got aq call about a job in a financial company :)
imagine me..programming maths ]:)

Works for me. By the way, were there any words after the first 8?

(Edited because I can.)

Hi. You have reached the virtual eyes of the daveo 2000. Due to circumstances beyond most peoples' control, the daveo2000 is not available right now. Service is expected to be restored soon so please do not send anyone to find out what the problem is since things will likely be working again by the time you get there. Also, there might be some after effects of whatever it was that went wrong and you just don't want to risk getting caught up in that, now do you?

Just don't worry your little head about it and leave your message and, above all, don't be nosey about the whole thing.

Thank you and have a nice day.

[i]beep[/i]

in a nice handy carrying case that allows for quick swapping. I think they call them switchblades. These are popular in street hockey. Very in-vogue in places like Tulsa.

since he could slide no further back?

Still... I don't think I'll try it.

nananananananana can't hear you...nananananananana :p

:)

Thank You! :)

:p

I am far too Pure to speak of that kind of thing regarding myself. I was speaking hypothetically about some hypothetical male that would think that way.

As you should well know, I put women up on a pedestal and admire them for their Virtues.

ROAR :)

is to fine one with high standards and low morals.

Won't do something with anyone, but will do anything with someone.... ]:)

And if we take the 12 times 61 divided by 21, you average out to a 35 year old blonde with medium upper mommy parts. Hopefully (unlike Mae) you don't ALSO have the lower daddy part... :0

[i](Mae, did you ever get yours removed?) [/i] :|

I make more money. And it seems to be a license to act like a complete a$$hole without any repercussions.

Clearly you didn't have your head deep enough in the gutter to understand my reference in regards to you talking about a big beav...

oh my.......

[i]
edited because I couldn't bring myself to saying it out loud....

complaining about their beavers this time???

only about the BIG beav!

Think about this. A lion tamer sticks his head in the lions mouth.... right? And if you can play lion tamer with a big beav....

ewwwwwwwww :p

I did NOT want to spell it out, but you made me! :0

star trek style

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gUA35XQxxw8&mode=related&search=

The question is : Do the collar and cuffs match???

For the fantastic advice :D

However, I am in need of about 5 men (minimum) is it possible to find more than one of these type??

And as for having mummy and daddy parts, damn that would be fun :(

Col, has promised me a boob job! Its the best one I've heard destroying my huge JLO a$$ in the process!!

But I have a problem, I don't know if they will be big enough, he said something about 150 kilos per breast, but I dont understand the metric system, you think I should ask for bigger??

I refuse to comment!!

And I didnt dye it to get rid of the blonde, the blonde was already gone when I dyed it!!

You dont need to be able to hear us for us to harm you rather severly :p

Or was that just a difficult joke to understand??

Or am I.....

(dun-dun-duuuun)

....losing my impurity???

You see when talking about lions and beavers, I didn't think of sticking my head inside either of them, I just thought of the fact that a lion is very VERY hairy, in fact european hairy!! And well errr, I'm saying no more on that.

But I'm definitely no lion!!! Definitely no heads going in there!!!

Edited to add - Damn I hate you JD, just when I think I'm not blonde you make me feel all blonde again :(

As one of the founders of the Impure Brigade, every now and then it is my responsibility to remind people what true impurity really is all about.

I just try to be subtle with it, is all.

I must admit, the place really has taken a change since Jaqui stopped coming around. Anyone still hear from him? GG?

150 kilos each??
depends on what look yer going for hun.

lets see..let me see if i can get the math right..
150/8 -(2.2*150)*12 (7/31) = 664.95 pounds

PHOAR!!!!!!!!!
if i were ye, i'd get the metal rods inserted along your spine at the saem time, saves having to go back in a month.

at least its not a reductin..my sister went for that..
ever have yer mom cut your hair? a little off this side, then the other side..ooops, 1 side is longer, trim it a wee bit..oops, not the other side is longer..etc etc

she had to go 3 times to get them the same size..f*cking idiots..
poor thing is still in a D cup though!
*my family are blessed by the b00b fairy*