The PC industry is rife with these non-standard standards!
Actually, this is the 3rd or 4th SDRAM compatibility issue.
The first was 2 clock lines vs. 4 clock line DIMMs.
Then came double-density, and even more incompatibilities.
There are even motherboards that specify a specific CL level to assure that the DIMM will function.
When quad density came out last year, many of the e-tailers warned of compatibility issues. I think some of the warnings even specified which chip-sets were required to use quad density DIMMs.
Of course, the problem here is two-fold:
The higher density memory costs much less to manufacture into DIMMs. So, the cheapest memory available is going to be the new, less compatible, version.
The SDRAM standard is being stretched to the limits.
While I do not like the situation any more than you do, it is part of the price we pay for a rapidly evolving technology.
Let's not forget ALL the hardware that XP obsoleted overnight.
The answer may be to set up an industry organization to ENFORCE the standards. In Europe, ISO could be the ideal referee for this situation.
Chas